URGENT: My son joining the army

You claim you are seeking advice and seek sympathy, but instead of responding to insightful responses from others, you divert the thread to make provocative declarations about murderous rampages.

I'm not assuming you are illiterate. In fact I complimented your command of the language. I'm saying your persona is not credible.

I am telling you what I fear, not blasting the military
 
Let's just accept this is a real Dad with real concerns. It certainly doesn't hurt to do that. If you think it's a waste of your time, then feel free to drop out. (Not aimed at you, Bull).

@Army.Dad - I do seem to recall 2, maybe 3, incidents where someone snapped and did some bad things. Seems a pretty small number compared to the hundreds of thousands who were deployed in the recent wars. You know your kid - I suspect you don't think he would do stuff like that, right? The military didn't brainwash these folks and set them off to do this. They snapped (IMHO) and had the means available to them. Can it happen to your son? Yes. Is it very likely? No.
 
My son is 20, in his 2nd year in college, contracted with the Army ROTC, but will likely get out of that contract since he was offered a slot in the U.S. Coast Guard Academy and is waiting to hear from the Naval Academy. My father was a chaplain in the Army during the Vietnam era and buried a few hundred soldiers. My wife's dad was a pilot in WWII and a flight instructor during Korea and was one of the first planes in to rescue survivors from the Bataan march and prison camp (people died on his plane as he was flying them back care and treatment) I am scared to death my son will get killed or maimed and worry a great deal about what could happen to him in any of these branches of service. But I am VERY proud that he wants to serve this country, not just his own interests (or his parent's) and that he finds the well being our nation and freedoms to be more important than his own and worth the risk incurred in defending those freedoms. My son's grandfathers told him about the horrors of war, but also explained how freedom wasn't free, but came at a high cost sometimes.

In every good parent's life there comes a time when it is time to "Let go and let God" - I don't know your religious beliefs, but I trust that God's will is going to be done no matter what I do, so I have just handed it over to him and asked my son to just always seek to do what that "still small voice" inside him tells him is the right thing. It is the job of a parent to "train a child up in the way that he should go," but once you've raised that child, you MUST let go of that child and let him/her enter the world and face it on their own terms. Make sure you child knows you love him and that you will always be there for him, but as he enters the adult world, he needs your support and cheer-leading as well, not your hand holding and fearful running of interference for him.

Your concerns are those to some degree or another of every parent with a child in the military, but the odds of what you fear taking place are low. You hear about people who snap, get maimed, blown up, have serious PTSD issues because they are NOT the norm. The media pumps those stories up and they take on a life of their own, but they are NOT normal. What normally happens is BORING. No one reads articles about the guy who went into the army did a tour in Afghanistan, came home, married, had 2.5 kids and works at the local bank as a loan officer - but that's my 2nd cousin, 2 tours of Iraq, 1 in Afghanistan, 25 years in the army, worked up from grunt to Captain, retired and now works as an analyst at a bank. Never killed anyone, never got shot at (and his job was ordinance collection and disposal - rounding up AK-47's and weapons caches and destroying them). No one ever heard of him because it is not exciting or interesting. The abnormal is the norm for media reporting. The normal is typically ignored since it happens every day. Consider the fact that at least some of your fears are fueled by a sensationalist media and are not remotely connected to what usually takes place.

Don't give into your fears, it's OK to have them, but celebrate your son, let him know you love and support him no matter what decision he makes and understand it is HIS decision, he just wants YOUR support whatever he decides.
 
Could we stop worrying about whether Army.Dad is a troll and instead discuss his concerns? Regardless of whether he is a troll (and I don't think he is), as kinnem said, these issues are very real.

I believe Army.Dad concerns has been addressed by various posters (4 pages plus), however in my opinion Army.Dad is asking the same question. Regardless how questions are asked, if the same question is asked, the answer will not change.

How many different ways can we post - the kid needs to make the decision, parents should be supportive and respect their adult childern's wishes, and various statistic show joining the military less dangerous than driving.
 
I came to the U.S. 1981 and got a bachelor's degree then had kids of my own and started working....very ignorant of you to assume I am supposed to be illiterate just because I am seeking advice.

Army.Dad, I guess some of the issues here are that you claim you are an immigrant from a third world country who doesn't know the ways of our military and honor to our country. You then proceed to discuss how you work so very hard to make ends meet as a bellman at a hotel and a cab driver yet here you discuss how you came to the US in 1981 and got your bachelor's degree prior to having children.
Clearly you came to this country to have a better life and were fortunate enough to have gone to college. For whatever reason you are currently employed in two jobs that do not require a college degree but why that is is none of anyone's business. Most Americans work extremely hard to make ends meet or get ahead in life. You can not think you are alone in this.

However, as you have lived in the US for over 30 years, this is your country. And as your child was born here, he is a citizen of this wonderful nation. I clearly don't understand the issue with him wanting to defend the great nation that he was born in and lives in. Nor the fact that you are obviously a citizen and have clearly enjoyed all the freedom and benefits that come from living here.

I can understand your nervous attitude in regards to your son contracting into the Army. I will be up at Fort Benning next week watching my son graduate from IBOLC and I was filled with reservations about my son serving. Military is not something any of my family members were in however, it is something that my son very much wanted for his life. He has worked very hard to achieve his dreams of being an officer with active duty and I couldn't be more honored or proud to have him be a member of the US Army.

You need to allow your son to fulfill his life long dreams. Is that not one of the reasons you came to the US? To have a better life and a chance for your child to have a better life and be able to follow their dreams? That fact that your son has made a choice to defend and serve HIS great nation is truly an honorable thing.
 
Army.Dad, I guess some of the issues here are that you claim you are an immigrant from a third world country who doesn't know the ways of our military and honor to our country. You then proceed to discuss how you work so very hard to make ends meet as a bellman at a hotel and a cab driver yet here you discuss how you came to the US in 1981 and got your bachelor's degree prior to having children.
Clearly you came to this country to have a better life and were fortunate enough to have gone to college. For whatever reason you are currently employed in two jobs that do not require a college degree but why that is is none of anyone's business. Most Americans work extremely hard to make ends meet or get ahead in life. You can not think you are alone in this.

However, as you have lived in the US for over 30 years, this is your country. And as your child was born here, he is a citizen of this wonderful nation. I clearly don't understand the issue with him wanting to defend the great nation that he was born in and lives in. Nor the fact that you are obviously a citizen and have clearly enjoyed all the freedom and benefits that come from living here.

I can understand your nervous attitude in regards to your son contracting into the Army. I will be up at Fort Benning next week watching my son graduate from IBOLC and I was filled with reservations about my son serving. Military is not something any of my family members were in however, it is something that my son very much wanted for his life. He has worked very hard to achieve his dreams of being an officer with active duty and I couldn't be more honored or proud to have him be a member of the US Army.

You need to allow your son to fulfill his life long dreams. Is that not one of the reasons you came to the US? To have a better life and a chance for your child to have a better life and be able to follow their dreams? That fact that your son has made a choice to defend and serve HIS great nation is truly an honorable thing.

Congratulations to you and your son on his impending graduation. Have sent you a PM.
 
My son is 20, in his 2nd year in college, contracted with the Army ROTC, but will likely get out of that contract since he was offered a slot in the U.S. Coast Guard Academy and is waiting to hear from the Naval Academy. My father was a chaplain in the Army during the Vietnam era and buried a few hundred soldiers. My wife's dad was a pilot in WWII and a flight instructor during Korea and was one of the first planes in to rescue survivors from the Bataan march and prison camp (people died on his plane as he was flying them back care and treatment) I am scared to death my son will get killed or maimed and worry a great deal about what could happen to him in any of these branches of service. But I am VERY proud that he wants to serve this country, not just his own interests (or his parent's) and that he finds the well being our nation and freedoms to be more important than his own and worth the risk incurred in defending those freedoms. My son's grandfathers told him about the horrors of war, but also explained how freedom wasn't free, but came at a high cost sometimes.

In every good parent's life there comes a time when it is time to "Let go and let God" - I don't know your religious beliefs, but I trust that God's will is going to be done no matter what I do, so I have just handed it over to him and asked my son to just always seek to do what that "still small voice" inside him tells him is the right thing. It is the job of a parent to "train a child up in the way that he should go," but once you've raised that child, you MUST let go of that child and let him/her enter the world and face it on their own terms. Make sure you child knows you love him and that you will always be there for him, but as he enters the adult world, he needs your support and cheer-leading as well, not your hand holding and fearful running of interference for him.

Your concerns are those to some degree or another of every parent with a child in the military, but the odds of what you fear taking place are low. You hear about people who snap, get maimed, blown up, have serious PTSD issues because they are NOT the norm. The media pumps those stories up and they take on a life of their own, but they are NOT normal. What normally happens is BORING. No one reads articles about the guy who went into the army did a tour in Afghanistan, came home, married, had 2.5 kids and works at the local bank as a loan officer - but that's my 2nd cousin, 2 tours of Iraq, 1 in Afghanistan, 25 years in the army, worked up from grunt to Captain, retired and now works as an analyst at a bank. Never killed anyone, never got shot at (and his job was ordinance collection and disposal - rounding up AK-47's and weapons caches and destroying them). No one ever heard of him because it is not exciting or interesting. The abnormal is the norm for media reporting. The normal is typically ignored since it happens every day. Consider the fact that at least some of your fears are fueled by a sensationalist media and are not remotely connected to what usually takes place.

Don't give into your fears, it's OK to have them, but celebrate your son, let him know you love and support him no matter what decision he makes and understand it is HIS decision, he just wants YOUR support whatever he decides.

You bring up an interesting point. I was talking to another friend of mine who has a son in the marines, got deployed and participated in combat. I told my friend that my kid wants to be MI as an officer and he pretty much said that I should have nothing to worry about. Military life can be hard for some (doesn't even have to be related to combat) in the sense that there are some bad apples (NCOs and Officers alike) in the military like there is in the civilian life and there can be situations where he would have to handle something that comes his way be it ethical or moral. I do not want him to be "surprised" if something goes the way he didn't expect it to go (it would behoove him to learn how to adapt to rapid changes or he will have a hard time..especially in the military) I am proud of his decision though
 
In my opinion its an ignorant way of thinking but this ideology is connected to our pride in our culture and value systems. We didn't raise our son to be a soldier and it concerns us to see him go this route when he can be a professional in something else but at the same time
I am proud of his decision though

To beat a dead horse to death.... The above quote does not sound like you are too proud of his decision. On a side note I have gone through a lot of the same emotions as a parent as you. My son could have done many things in life but as a small lad he said he wanted to be a solider. Yes I tried to show him other opportunities but he has not wavered. His comment was, "I could die in a car crash today going to the store and it would be for nothing, if I die for my Country it will be with HONOR!" Yes hard for a dad to swallow sometimes.....
He does sometimes say he wished he had enlisted and gone the NCO route rather than commissioning. But we will see.....

Armydad I hope you come to terms with the decisions made by your son and it draws you closer to an understanding of you son and those who think like he does. GOD Bless your son and all those who have chosen the route he has chosen that came before him and God Bless those that chose it after he... and God Bless America!
 
And respectfully, I did not enquire about what the safest branch in the safest service is, but thank you.

Yes, that is exactly what you asked.

"A question for others: how much safer is Air Force than Army, or, say, Army MI over Army infantry?"

Didn't you receive a scholarship in January, wouldn't these have been concerns you addressed before applying to WP and for an AROTC Scholarship?
 
Play the odds and just let your child stay at home, in his bedroom, and play video games all day. Yes. That way, NOTHING will happen to him. As in, ever.

Geez, let your child, yes, the love of your heart, LIVE HIS LIFE! It's not YOUR life. You made your choices, let your child make his, with your full support.
 
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