Well said Sledge. That was made very clear to my parents. I always fall back to the young 17-18 year old enlistee who has no choice but to use the chain of command. Don't get my wrong social media has its place. Its great parents can see pictures and what is going on. Heck as an 18 year old I probably would of gotten tired of all the questions from my parents! But I think that is life and normal between kids and parents. I would of been happy to have all the access just so my parents could of watched my games from 4,000 miles away with streaming! Having a common bond with other parents is also great, but it needs to stay within parents groups. I think an extreme few of these of have some developed a sense of importance that just isn't reality. I think the overwhelming majority of groups are great. My parents never had issue with the distance or lack of comms while I was at USNA. My parents struggled much harder with year long deployments where comms were few and far between and with seeing the news daily she knew what I was facing. They did join a local parents support group for deployed service members. I actually didn't know this until I returned from deployment. But it stayed at that.
Venting about parents on FB
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Pima
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I am an old wife.
I think parents don't remember when they were in college before cell phones, internet/skype.
~ Our 1st operational assignment was in England. We paid back in 1989 $3 for the 1st minute to connect and $1 a minute. There was no internet. No cell phone.
~~ It was hard to be a Helo parent if to call your child cost 12 bucks for 10 minutes.
That is why I find it amazing that my generation appears to be more Helo's than I can believe. Than again, it might be my Jersey blood.
Additionally, I will say this to AF parents that have children dreaming of becoming a pilot. Cut the apron strings in the next few years. Any parent of a child in pilot training will tell you that a 5-10 minute weekly phone call is what you hope for. Mid week is heart sinks to your knees and you steel yourself asking the question to yourself...is this going to be a GOOD call or a BAD call.
~ If my DS calls M-F, after I say hi DS honey, the next words are what's wrong? I have been trained like Pavlov's dog. Weekend is time to chat. Weekday means it can't wait.
I will also say as the spouse of a parent that could not relinquish the parental role, it became an issue later on in life. My MIL, God rest her soul, flat out said to me to my face, that Bullet would not have made O4 without her. He pinned on 10 years after commissioning. 7 moves later.
Helos to me our those parents that can't let go.
You raised them right. Let them soar now.
Trust me circle around them all you want, but when they marry have children, you may find yourself being shut out by your own chil'ds life, because they can no longer take it. It rarely works out well for the helo parent if the child ever grows up.
Just saying from my experience. Condi may have called every night, but did she do it out of duty or love? Maybe she did out of love, or maybe she did because they expected the call and would contact the police the next a.m.
~ You are making an assumption that it was out of love and not duty. I am making the assumption it could be one or the other or both.
Maybe Patton had no issue with Mommy moving to WP. Maybe he felt that she was a widow and for their family it worked. Maybe he was being a dutiful son, but we don't know how their relationship evolved after he married Beatrice Ayer.
~ Maybe he was teased about it at WP, and that made him a fighter.
~~ Lots of assumptions, just like he was a better officer because Mommy was using a telescope to watch his room. I think that leap says a negative aspect to Patton. It read to me that if Mommy was not there he would have not succeeded.
~~~ Do you know that at CGSC they have an award call the white briefcase? It is a nod to Ike. Just saying there are many that also made it without the folks. circling them at WP.
For me:
I call my Mom because I want to talk to her. My DS calls just to say Hi or guidance. There is no set time. There was no I must call at this time on this day no matter what, whether I felt like talking or not. I can talk to my Mom 3 days a week for an hour and not again for 2 weeks. (Honestly, I haven't called her these past 10 days).
I am not a Helo. I have an amazing relationship with my DIL. I was taught by a non-helo parent. She always said to me from the day I married....best in law makes themself and out law.
~ I live by it to this day.
~~ Her other piece of advice.
~~~~ Never take your child's side when they vent during the 1st year of marriage. Not supporting them makes them stop discussing with you their issues...See in law/out law. They have to work it out on their own. My DS had fights with me, like I had with my Mom when she took Bullet's side. I repeated 25 years later to him what she said to me. You love her, right? Well than don't bad mouth her to me because you are mad! Tonight you will make up, but now as a parent she hurt my kid. That is not heloing, that is saying bring me into your marriage, I might harbor animosity longer than you do, and that can be a problem in the long run.
~~~~ He is 18, just wait until he is married and have rugrats running around, mortgage, deployments, etc.
Just saying the longer it takes to cut the apron strings, the higher the chance that they do all of it out of duty to the helo parent and not desire impo.
Off the soap box. Play on!
I think parents don't remember when they were in college before cell phones, internet/skype.
~ Our 1st operational assignment was in England. We paid back in 1989 $3 for the 1st minute to connect and $1 a minute. There was no internet. No cell phone.
~~ It was hard to be a Helo parent if to call your child cost 12 bucks for 10 minutes.
That is why I find it amazing that my generation appears to be more Helo's than I can believe. Than again, it might be my Jersey blood.
Additionally, I will say this to AF parents that have children dreaming of becoming a pilot. Cut the apron strings in the next few years. Any parent of a child in pilot training will tell you that a 5-10 minute weekly phone call is what you hope for. Mid week is heart sinks to your knees and you steel yourself asking the question to yourself...is this going to be a GOOD call or a BAD call.
~ If my DS calls M-F, after I say hi DS honey, the next words are what's wrong? I have been trained like Pavlov's dog. Weekend is time to chat. Weekday means it can't wait.
I will also say as the spouse of a parent that could not relinquish the parental role, it became an issue later on in life. My MIL, God rest her soul, flat out said to me to my face, that Bullet would not have made O4 without her. He pinned on 10 years after commissioning. 7 moves later.
Helos to me our those parents that can't let go.
You raised them right. Let them soar now.
Trust me circle around them all you want, but when they marry have children, you may find yourself being shut out by your own chil'ds life, because they can no longer take it. It rarely works out well for the helo parent if the child ever grows up.
Just saying from my experience. Condi may have called every night, but did she do it out of duty or love? Maybe she did out of love, or maybe she did because they expected the call and would contact the police the next a.m.
~ You are making an assumption that it was out of love and not duty. I am making the assumption it could be one or the other or both.
Maybe Patton had no issue with Mommy moving to WP. Maybe he felt that she was a widow and for their family it worked. Maybe he was being a dutiful son, but we don't know how their relationship evolved after he married Beatrice Ayer.
~ Maybe he was teased about it at WP, and that made him a fighter.
~~ Lots of assumptions, just like he was a better officer because Mommy was using a telescope to watch his room. I think that leap says a negative aspect to Patton. It read to me that if Mommy was not there he would have not succeeded.
~~~ Do you know that at CGSC they have an award call the white briefcase? It is a nod to Ike. Just saying there are many that also made it without the folks. circling them at WP.
For me:
I call my Mom because I want to talk to her. My DS calls just to say Hi or guidance. There is no set time. There was no I must call at this time on this day no matter what, whether I felt like talking or not. I can talk to my Mom 3 days a week for an hour and not again for 2 weeks. (Honestly, I haven't called her these past 10 days).
I am not a Helo. I have an amazing relationship with my DIL. I was taught by a non-helo parent. She always said to me from the day I married....best in law makes themself and out law.
~ I live by it to this day.
~~ Her other piece of advice.
~~~~ Never take your child's side when they vent during the 1st year of marriage. Not supporting them makes them stop discussing with you their issues...See in law/out law. They have to work it out on their own. My DS had fights with me, like I had with my Mom when she took Bullet's side. I repeated 25 years later to him what she said to me. You love her, right? Well than don't bad mouth her to me because you are mad! Tonight you will make up, but now as a parent she hurt my kid. That is not heloing, that is saying bring me into your marriage, I might harbor animosity longer than you do, and that can be a problem in the long run.
~~~~ He is 18, just wait until he is married and have rugrats running around, mortgage, deployments, etc.
Just saying the longer it takes to cut the apron strings, the higher the chance that they do all of it out of duty to the helo parent and not desire impo.
Off the soap box. Play on!
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As a parent of a NC, this is news to me. There are no forced calls home. They can call no one or anyone they want as far as I know.
Sure there are bad apples, but to say that there should be no parents club, etc. is kinda crazy. They do some great things and in the end provide some outstanding support for kids that are going through a big life change.
Let's follow our own advice to our kids and focus on the positive of every day - don't dwell on the negative. That's the advice I offered my NC on how to survive beast.
Sledge
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I did. Oops. "no greater access."
Pima
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I agree, but there is a fine line between heloing and supporting.
Supporting is impo, behind the curtain. Raising money, awareness and support for others. IOWS the entire class or SA or military.
Heloing is more about how it impacts my kid.
The real question is:
If their kid leaves the SA or military will they still be providing outstanding support to those aspects?
If they bolt, than will you agree with me that their support was conditional from the aspect of their children's life?
If so, than do you disagree with me that is an aspect of a helo parent. My kid, and not the big picture?
usna1985
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It's a somewhat complicated story but I'll try to condense it. Our final plebe parade (at PPW) was also used as the change of command ceremony for the Supe. VADM Lawrence was being relieved by VADM Waller. John Lehman, SecNav at the time, was the speaker (yep, there was a speech at the parade). In his speech, Lehman extolled the virtues of both outgoing and incoming Supes -- and there were lots of virtues. End result was a really long speech and the longest parade in the history of the Naval Academy. It lasted about 2.5 hours -- in mid-August. Something like 75 plebes and firsties fell out -- an entire batt staff fainted. The only thing that saved us is that it was a relatively cool day. That parade was indelibly etched in our class memory.
Fast forward to our graduation four years later. John Lehman, still SecNav, is introducing the speaker, President Reagan. Lehman makes the mistake of starting his speech, "Four years ago . . ." Of course, we all flash-backed to that parade, four years earlier, and started booing.
The funny thing was that Lehman didn't get it. In the video, you can see him look at the Supe (now RADM Larson) who, because he wasn't there four years earlier, was understandably clueless as to why we were booing (and was probably embarrassed as well). And no one else got it b/c other than our class and Lehman, no one had been there at the parade four years ago (other than a few parents).
Lehman tries again: "Four years ago . . ." Same result. I think he finally managed to get through his sentence on the third try. It went something like this: "Four years ago, when Ronald Reagan took office as President . . ."
So there you have it. It was a moment -- one of those things that everyone in our class remembers and one of those things that binds a class together.
MombaBomba
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I have observed, if someone says "I speak to my son/daughter every day or several times a week" there are a couple basic reactions in social media
1) Automatic assumption and accusation of being a helicopter parent with a lecture on letting go
2) Assumption about it being about love and closeness followed by comments either wishing for such closeness or expressing the same level of closeness
I have also observed that if someone asks how something works or why it works or how to do something there are another set of basic reactions
1) Automatic assumption and accusation of being a helicopter parent with a lecture on letting go
2) Information provided with out question of motivation or sharing of personal story
3) Sharing of similar circumstance along with information
I have also observed that regardless of reactions/assumptions, you have to have pretty thick skin and/or a level of confidence to stick around and openly share opinions on social media.
For me, helicoptering isn't just about an action but about the motivation for such an action. There are some black and white lines with me. I wouldn't call an instructor about grades, remind my son to do laundry, etc. etc. etc, but I would call his AOC or AMT if there was a tragedy involving a close family member (not talking pet here, but parent, grandparent, sibling etc.) and I wanted a human being to be there to break it to him and help him work out what his options are (traveling home for funeral, say goodbye to someone before they pull the plug etc.).
I would love to talk to my son more frequently. I miss him. It is nice that cell phones enable me to speak to him more than I could back in the day when it required a bucketful of change. I wish he would call more and share more with me, so I tend to be envious of the call every day parents as opposed to assuming these parents are helicoptering parents trying to control their kids and lead their kids' lives for them.
1) Automatic assumption and accusation of being a helicopter parent with a lecture on letting go
2) Assumption about it being about love and closeness followed by comments either wishing for such closeness or expressing the same level of closeness
I have also observed that if someone asks how something works or why it works or how to do something there are another set of basic reactions
1) Automatic assumption and accusation of being a helicopter parent with a lecture on letting go
2) Information provided with out question of motivation or sharing of personal story
3) Sharing of similar circumstance along with information
I have also observed that regardless of reactions/assumptions, you have to have pretty thick skin and/or a level of confidence to stick around and openly share opinions on social media.
For me, helicoptering isn't just about an action but about the motivation for such an action. There are some black and white lines with me. I wouldn't call an instructor about grades, remind my son to do laundry, etc. etc. etc, but I would call his AOC or AMT if there was a tragedy involving a close family member (not talking pet here, but parent, grandparent, sibling etc.) and I wanted a human being to be there to break it to him and help him work out what his options are (traveling home for funeral, say goodbye to someone before they pull the plug etc.).
I would love to talk to my son more frequently. I miss him. It is nice that cell phones enable me to speak to him more than I could back in the day when it required a bucketful of change. I wish he would call more and share more with me, so I tend to be envious of the call every day parents as opposed to assuming these parents are helicoptering parents trying to control their kids and lead their kids' lives for them.
Did anyone ever clue in John Lehman on why it happened afterwards? Just curious
MDDADD sorry I started the grumpy old men thread
and for the most part I don't have a problem with helo parents hovering around in general. It's when they decide to LAND that bugs me a bit.
I'm trying to learn everything I can about the officer experience since I can only really give my small enlisted experience. I've joined a lot of groups and visited a lot of web sites it just surprised me and bugged me when a parent was complaining about taking the AP test and them not counting at the academy. Like others have said my purpose and goal is to learn as much as possible so I can give advice when asked.
And I did admit that I've learned my lesson! Uncle uncle uncle!
MDDADD sorry I started the grumpy old men thread
and for the most part I don't have a problem with helo parents hovering around in general. It's when they decide to LAND that bugs me a bit. I'm trying to learn everything I can about the officer experience since I can only really give my small enlisted experience. I've joined a lot of groups and visited a lot of web sites it just surprised me and bugged me when a parent was complaining about taking the AP test and them not counting at the academy. Like others have said my purpose and goal is to learn as much as possible so I can give advice when asked.
And I did admit that I've learned my lesson! Uncle uncle uncle!
Agree 100% and I think the line you mention about too much helo'ing (I invented a new word!) is different for each of us. And I have to admit I was using my own line to prejudge others and I shouldn't have done that.
Pima
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Welcome to the world of non-helo parent and acknowledging my special snowflake is going to get a wake up call come next yea, be it at an SA or in college.
My DS was AFROTC scholarship. Dual enrollment in college with a ton of APs (4 and 5s) His college took all of the credits, but only used some towards his degree.
He graduated with a dual degree (Gotv & Politics, plus International Relations), minor in History and core in military history. He ended with @178 credits because of his AP and Jump start.
In essence his HS classes meant squat when it came to graduating from an early aspect. All it meant was he didn't he didn't have take ENG 101 or History. It is validating classes, nothing more.
usna1985
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Wow -- interesting that our experience is "legend."
To dispel the myths . . . it really lasted about 2.5 hours -- on the longer side if you were 36th company vs. 1st company.
But nowhere near 4 hours.We had fixed bayonets and more than one person got cut when folks fainted and their bayonets ended up places they weren't meant to be. Not sure about the blood "everywhere," but know that there was some blood.
It is true that an entire batt staff went down. As a percentage, more firsties probably did faint but I don't think anyone was counting. As anyone who's been in a parade knows, not fainting isn't about machismo. It's a combination of proper hydration, proper stance, and a lot of luck! And I've never seen anyone reamed for fainting. Maybe some good natured joking from peers but everyone knows it could happen to them in the next P-rade.
I'm not aware of the plebes getting "reamed." To the contrary, we actually earned a lot of respect from not only the firsties but the other classes, who of course heard the story or maybe were in the stands (can't recall which). It was more along the lines of, "I can't believe you guys made it through a 2 1/2 hour parade!"
I know it was in August. I thought it was PPW but it could well have been one of the earlier formal parades or even and extra one at the end of Dead Week, before reform. If it was PPW, it was the first parade for the parents so they didn't know any better -- didn't know that all parades didn't last that long. But now that I think back on it, maybe it wasn't PPW. Sorry, I'm not sure -- it was 1981 -- a LONG time and many parades ago.
I don't know that our PS was the worst, but I think we still hold the title of longest/worst parade -- unless Mr. Lehman has been visiting recently.
I haven't a clue.
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FlyBoy1993
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As a parent of a Cadet, I have never even called a TAC, much less the Supe. LOL. DS' life/ career would literally have to be threatened for me to make that call.
Our son knows we're a phone call away if something is needed, but in the big picture of things, this is 100% his show and has been since Junior/ Senior years in high school.
We talk pretty much every Wednesday and Sunday during the school year, but if he's busy, he might not pick up the phone. No news is good news. The past 3-4 weeks while he was in cadre for Beast, the calls/ texts were few/ far between. No big deal.
As for you daily callers, lemme just say the cadets get a kick out of it. They do share it with fellow cadets..or maybe they all don't, but it is done.
Our son knows we're a phone call away if something is needed, but in the big picture of things, this is 100% his show and has been since Junior/ Senior years in high school.
We talk pretty much every Wednesday and Sunday during the school year, but if he's busy, he might not pick up the phone. No news is good news. The past 3-4 weeks while he was in cadre for Beast, the calls/ texts were few/ far between. No big deal.
As for you daily callers, lemme just say the cadets get a kick out of it. They do share it with fellow cadets..or maybe they all don't, but it is done.
Sledge
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Giving your 18-year-old children advice and guidance? No problem whatsoever. A parent should do that. Then the cadet/midshipman acts (or doesn't if they don't take your advice) within the system.
Going direct and giving the Army/Navy/Air Force "advice" or "voicing concern" based on what you heard from your cadet/midshipman/FB group? Problem. The Army (or Navy/Air Force) is not 18 years old. They've been at it ... a good number of years. They are far from perfect organizations, but they probably know better than an individual parent about what's needed to get the job done.
Going direct and giving the Army/Navy/Air Force "advice" or "voicing concern" based on what you heard from your cadet/midshipman/FB group? Problem. The Army (or Navy/Air Force) is not 18 years old. They've been at it ... a good number of years. They are far from perfect organizations, but they probably know better than an individual parent about what's needed to get the job done.
Every family has a different dynamic. Some kids talk daily to home, others don't. I email to this day back and forth with my parents close to daily. They don't text and I really don't have a need to talk to them daily. What works for one family, might not work for another. I think the analogy of helo parent and landing are pretty good. I like it. The fleet is a whole different beast. It can be crazy busy and cell phone reception doesn't always happen. Deployment phones and Internet go silent and are sometimes not accessible. Actually the Navy is pretty famous for turning this off on ships for OpSec purposes all the time.
Agree emergencies are a different story. Now with cell phones being so available, some might get this news directly. Heck I would rather have my family tell me over the phone or FaceTime than a CDO or Company Officer tell me. But what works for one family, won't for another. Mids know how to use the CoC to coordinate emergency leave, CO's will jump on this immediately without delay (if they don't they should be relieved).
85, that is crazy! We only had one crazy parade in my 4 years. It was the first parade of commissioning week my Plebe Year. We lost somewhere around 500 Mids total. It was crazy hot after a cold streak, combined with the level of hungover we lost people all over the place. My parents actually were sitting behind the parade field for this parade and said it was the greatest thing ever to watch it all. I was in the last row and by the time it was done I have moved 2 whole rows up! I only had 1 parade last that long in time... Change of Command in Oki in August. Talk about heat on the black asphalt... Holy Batman! It was about 2 hours in 100 degree heat and Oki humidity. By far the worst parade I had ever done. We lost Marine all over the place and we were hydrated and prepared for that! Face planting on Worden with nice grass isn't so bad after watching people face plant on asphalt. Can't fathom a USNA parade being 2.5 hours!
Agree emergencies are a different story. Now with cell phones being so available, some might get this news directly. Heck I would rather have my family tell me over the phone or FaceTime than a CDO or Company Officer tell me. But what works for one family, won't for another. Mids know how to use the CoC to coordinate emergency leave, CO's will jump on this immediately without delay (if they don't they should be relieved).
85, that is crazy! We only had one crazy parade in my 4 years. It was the first parade of commissioning week my Plebe Year. We lost somewhere around 500 Mids total. It was crazy hot after a cold streak, combined with the level of hungover we lost people all over the place. My parents actually were sitting behind the parade field for this parade and said it was the greatest thing ever to watch it all. I was in the last row and by the time it was done I have moved 2 whole rows up! I only had 1 parade last that long in time... Change of Command in Oki in August. Talk about heat on the black asphalt... Holy Batman! It was about 2 hours in 100 degree heat and Oki humidity. By far the worst parade I had ever done. We lost Marine all over the place and we were hydrated and prepared for that! Face planting on Worden with nice grass isn't so bad after watching people face plant on asphalt. Can't fathom a USNA parade being 2.5 hours!
parentalunit2
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The ice cream social is to send the new cadets away from the barracks while the cadre changes over from CBTI to CBTII. It has nothing to do with giving them a chance to call home, though that is a nice side perk for them, being able to spend more than ten minutes on the phone.
I agree that the academies have been feeding the frenzy of parent involvement. Just the fact that each academy now has a parent liaison to handle the parents. I kind of get that at a tuition-charging school - but no tuition, no input. It’s the military for pete’s sake! Why are parents so involved in the day-to-day of their cadet/mid? Because the academy now makes it very simple for them to do so. Tons of info that used to be privy only to those on the inside are now out there for all to peruse. I sometimes visit the public WP Parents FB page just to have a good laugh. The best was one year parents asking (I think it was) the comm, who was very generous with posting photos, if he could photograph their kid’s company a bit more. And they were addressing him on FB by his first name. His first name. A general in the US Army. I just shook my head.
Very much agree with Hoops’ take on the USNA food situation. It was a result of long-ago established budget not being able to catch up with sudden reg changes. It was a real problem, but should certainly have been handled solely on the inside.
I agree that the academies have been feeding the frenzy of parent involvement. Just the fact that each academy now has a parent liaison to handle the parents. I kind of get that at a tuition-charging school - but no tuition, no input. It’s the military for pete’s sake! Why are parents so involved in the day-to-day of their cadet/mid? Because the academy now makes it very simple for them to do so. Tons of info that used to be privy only to those on the inside are now out there for all to peruse. I sometimes visit the public WP Parents FB page just to have a good laugh. The best was one year parents asking (I think it was) the comm, who was very generous with posting photos, if he could photograph their kid’s company a bit more. And they were addressing him on FB by his first name. His first name. A general in the US Army. I just shook my head.
Very much agree with Hoops’ take on the USNA food situation. It was a result of long-ago established budget not being able to catch up with sudden reg changes. It was a real problem, but should certainly have been handled solely on the inside.
MombaBomba
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One of the things I have found frustrating about the whole college application (both SA and tradition college) process is the emphasis on APs classes and then not considering them for credit at all or setting a score of 5 as the bar. Many of the more challenging colleges require AP courses to apply. If they are available at the high school, then they had better be taken is the philosophy. Taking these AP exams are expensive. Admittedly not as expensive as a college course, but they are not a cup of coffee either. Some colleges point blank say we require APs but will not accept them in lieu of a class even with a score of 5. This can be a frustrating attitude to deal with considering the cost of the course.
I do get that some people believe that Johnny boy can do no wrong. But sometimes the frustration is about the philosophy as opposed to their child in particular. Back in the day when it was a bucket of change to make a call, there were very few AP courses. Now there are a slew of them with the required test course fees.
Odds are if the testing was free or minimal, there probably would be less grousing.
PS: I realize there is no direct tuition payment for a SA. So the cost of a college AP exam is cheap compared to an overall college education. I am only making the point that being knee deep in college applications (both SA and traditional) with the emphasis on AP exams does make one far more conscious of their weight, cost and crediting.
MombaBomba
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Parent of a recent USMA grad. Cannot even imagine a non-emergency siruation where we would have called TAC, Profs, or similar. Our son would not have spoken to us again. His journey, his decisions, his outcomes.
I do hear stories of parents in certain social media groups call/writing the Comm/Supe over bathrooms, theft, toilet paper, dining hall and shake my head.
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Parents have never and will never have the full story about anything (that includes parents here).
I didn't graduate THAT long ago, but it was before social media really took off. There was Facebook my senior year, but at that point it was still only for college students. Parents got their information from two general sources, their kids or the Parents' Association. The Parents' Association was surprisingly well informed, but as I said first, never had the full story.
Social media hasn't changed this an any way. What social media has allowed parents to do is share their half-truths more openly. No longer is it a whisper or an email to a few people. It's a post. It's a tweet.
To me, a helicopter parent inserts itself in a situation. "Oh, Timmy told me this, so I'm going to call his company officer…" You would be amazed at how often a helicopter parent also wears a military uniform. A good parent is there to support his/her kid. They take the phone calls and offer supportive words and unconditional love. A helicopter parents gets involved.
There is NOTHING good about a helicopter parent. This is someone who can't let go. This is a person who wants to be part of the action. Maybe it's because they never joined the military or never attended an academy. They're the Dance Moms, but their kids wear uniforms and the dances aren't as expressive. Helicopter parents love drama and all they do is damage their children's standing (here and everywhere else).
I'm not even sure the line is all that fine between a supportive parent and a helicopter parent.
My parents were supportive. They received my calls. They responded to my emails. They made friends with other parents during the different academy events over four years, and they followed the rumor mill from the Parents' Association, but they never inserted themselves and they never got involved with my day to day life. They allowed me to feel the pain and success of a cadet life.
So what does Facebook and Twitter allow you to see? How pathetic some parents are and why you don't want to be one of "those parents."
I didn't graduate THAT long ago, but it was before social media really took off. There was Facebook my senior year, but at that point it was still only for college students. Parents got their information from two general sources, their kids or the Parents' Association. The Parents' Association was surprisingly well informed, but as I said first, never had the full story.
Social media hasn't changed this an any way. What social media has allowed parents to do is share their half-truths more openly. No longer is it a whisper or an email to a few people. It's a post. It's a tweet.
To me, a helicopter parent inserts itself in a situation. "Oh, Timmy told me this, so I'm going to call his company officer…" You would be amazed at how often a helicopter parent also wears a military uniform. A good parent is there to support his/her kid. They take the phone calls and offer supportive words and unconditional love. A helicopter parents gets involved.
There is NOTHING good about a helicopter parent. This is someone who can't let go. This is a person who wants to be part of the action. Maybe it's because they never joined the military or never attended an academy. They're the Dance Moms, but their kids wear uniforms and the dances aren't as expressive. Helicopter parents love drama and all they do is damage their children's standing (here and everywhere else).
I'm not even sure the line is all that fine between a supportive parent and a helicopter parent.
My parents were supportive. They received my calls. They responded to my emails. They made friends with other parents during the different academy events over four years, and they followed the rumor mill from the Parents' Association, but they never inserted themselves and they never got involved with my day to day life. They allowed me to feel the pain and success of a cadet life.
So what does Facebook and Twitter allow you to see? How pathetic some parents are and why you don't want to be one of "those parents."
- Status