Don't let the college sticker price, especially for out of state tuition, keep you from applying to most colleges, especially VMI. My DS was accepted to VMI and starts in just a few days. The financial aid package they gave him made it over $2,000 less expensive to attend VMI instead of TAMU, even though we live in Texas. TAMU did not offer hardly any financial aid, at least to my DS who would have been an in state student. There are several factors which can determine the amount of financial aid you're offered from different schools. Those include your families income, how good your grades are and how well rounded your application is, and the amount of money each college has to offer students and whether or not the choose to give more or less financial aid than other colleges.
I know $2,0000 isn't a lot considering we will pay travel expenses a few times each year from Texas to Virginia, but this first year my son also received some local scholarship money and has worked and saved his own money to cover most of these additional travel costs and other financial needs during the college year.
He hopes to receive at least the same amount of financial aid each year from VMI and will be working to try and get an AROTC scholarship or possibly some additional scholarship money by playing a NCAA sport at VMI.
VMI has turned out to be the least expensive school for my son out of four he applied to and was accepted at all four (one in-state and three out-of-state colleges). He still had to borrow several thousand dollars, but that amount was cheaper than any of the other colleges he could have chosen to attend. DS believes attending VMI is worth the amount of debt he will acquire over the next four years. I happen to agree with him. He is already looking at an Army program that will help pay off most, if not all of his student debt when he graduates and commissions by adding a few more years to his first enlistment as well. DS has a solid plan to get his college degree and deal with the debt.
I hope you consider this advice. The most you'll have to lose is your application fee to each college you apply to. But if your willing to work hard, and in my sons case, spend a few more years in the Army to pay off college debt, then you could afford most colleges, in or out of state. Be sure to discuss it with your family if they're willing to help as well.