What don't I know enough about to know about?

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by tjb1975, Sep 8, 2016.

  1. tjb1975

    tjb1975 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2015
    Messages:
    191
    Likes Received:
    118
    Hello! As the mom of a newly contracted AROTC cadet, what do I need to know? I'm absolutely certain that I don't even know enough to know the best questions to ask! Fire away! Give me your best tips on how to support my cadet. How can I learn from your lessons? I can't wait to hear what comes up. As an example, we soon learned that DS's sunglasses needed to be replaced with something appropriate to wear in uniform.
     
  2. QA1517

    QA1517 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2012
    Messages:
    402
    Likes Received:
    102
    You're going to here this from just about everybody. Your time of asking questions is over. Its up to your cadet to ask all the questions:) Sink or swim time.

    As for what type of sunglasses, DS bought cheap ones until he commissioned because he was in college and would loose or break them.
    As for supporting your cadet, my DS said he kept waiting on me to yell at him or tell him he messed up. I kind of shrugged and told him it was all up to him now. He has to learn to live with the decisions and actions he takes. If he had a personal issue he neaded to deal with we were there, but as for the military/rotc side he was pretty much on his own and he had people and other cadets there he could talk to.

    In all honesty, you don't know what you don't know and neither do the people on this forum. It really is up to the cadet to handle things on their own and go to their cadre for advise.
    MSI and MSII years will be a time of growth and learning for them and as a parent it's your time to sit back and watch them grow and see how they handle the situations.

    Absorb the information they pass along to you and do a little research on things that interest you.

    As a non-military parent, I did a lot of reading to make sure I understood what my DS was telling me. Spent a lot of time google-ing and reading peoples post on this website.
     
    Pima, USMCGrunt and AROTC-dad like this.
  3. AROTC-dad

    AROTC-dad Just a dad

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2014
    Messages:
    1,385
    Likes Received:
    1,032
    Five things I have learned as a dad of an ROTC cadet.
    • DS/DD probably does not need a car the first year, but the second year it is a big help. (to make sure other cadets show up for events).
    • If you DO send your DS/DD with a car, a manual transmission is the best choice. (because other students don't know how to shift, and can't borrow it).
    • If you buy a computer, consider purchasing it from the campus bookstore, even if it is more expensive than Costco. (so it can be serviced easily during mid-terms or finals)
    • Make sure he/she has a durable phone and you will be blessed with an occasional text message (it will take a beating).
    • Have faith in that by now there is nothing more you can teach him/her. (The fact that he/she is here is a testimony to that).
     
    pv123, Jcleppe, tjb1975 and 2 others like this.
  4. QA1517

    QA1517 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2012
    Messages:
    402
    Likes Received:
    102
    "DS/DD probably does not need a car the first year, but the second year it is a big help. (to make sure other cadets show up for events)."

    DS was at school for 2 weeks and had 4 girls show up and ask if they could take his pick-up to the mall 45 minutes away.....................NO!!!!
     
    pv123, tjb1975 and AROTC-dad like this.
  5. forumjunkie

    forumjunkie Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2014
    Messages:
    381
    Likes Received:
    290
    the true measure of how sad our Country has become...Most kids cannot drive a Stick shift! :(
     
    tjb1975 and AROTC-dad like this.
  6. nofodad

    nofodad Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2011
    Messages:
    502
    Likes Received:
    190
    The cross-town "thing" is not a big deal.
     
  7. cb7893

    cb7893 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2011
    Messages:
    1,058
    Likes Received:
    378
    x 1000.

    After 4 yrs AROTC, 11 mos AD and 7 mos into overseas deployment, my DS could challenge Michael Phelps.

    I still can't say for sure if he knows how to make his bed.
     
    pv123, mmb5, nofodad and 3 others like this.
  8. madhttr

    madhttr Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2016
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    31
    I'm struggling with this too after years of post-basketball-game-ride-home parent-coaching sessions, college decision/scholarship support, and helping DD get ready for the APFT (even sprained a calf trying to pace her--and I'm a runner/Cross-Country coach). I'm also a civilian and was feeling guilty that she went off to ROTC without a lot of military protocol knowledge and without firing anything larger than a pellet gun. Now she's already disassembling/reassembling rifles and firing M16s, so it's not like I could have taught her that with my old shotgun. Helped her get some boots for the RC tryouts, but she's taken care of all the other details on her own. At the parents' meeting when we dropped DD off, the MSG told us that our sons and daughters could be commanding soldiers to go off to war in four years, so it's time to let them take care of themselves. It's not easy adjusting to them being on their own, but I think it's starting to sink in for me that the Army has a pretty good track record of making men and women leaders out of boys and girls.

    On another note, DD didn't take a car with her, but love the stick-shift rationale. I did at least teach her that! And now I finally know why my dad wanted me to learn to drive a stick-shift.
     
    tjb1975, EDelahanty and AROTC-dad like this.
  9. AF6872

    AF6872 Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2007
    Messages:
    2,868
    Likes Received:
    237
    As an aside; I always loved the stories when a car thief or hijacker didn't know what a clutch was.
     
    tjb1975 and AROTC-dad like this.
  10. Jcleppe

    Jcleppe Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2010
    Messages:
    5,537
    Likes Received:
    837
    Love this.

    One added benefit , that was not lost on Mom and Dad, is that when driving around town with on hand on the wheel and one on the stick....it makes it a lot harder to use a Cell phone.

    Both sons had a car for only their senior year, but it was a small college town and you could walk everywhere easily, even the bars and clubs which was nice when they turned 21.

    When older son graduated he bought a 2010 Mustang GT, I told him I would disown him if he bought an automatic. Had to teach him to drive a stick and AROTC-dad is right, nobody has ever asked to drive his car.
     
    tjb1975, EOD/SEALmom and AROTC-dad like this.
  11. AROTC-dad

    AROTC-dad Just a dad

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2014
    Messages:
    1,385
    Likes Received:
    1,032
    tjb1975, Capt MJ and Jcleppe like this.
  12. Capri120

    Capri120 Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2016
    Messages:
    304
    Likes Received:
    201
    Been driving a stick as my "normal" car since 1992...

    I have to agree with most, if not all of the 10 reasons given; definitely a lot more fun and controllable, especially on windy, 2-lane roads, through hills and mountains. Also, by downshifting, you save on brake wear. I had a 1992 Sentra with 316K miles when we traded it in (2008). Only changed the front brake pads twice during ownership; as for the rear brakes, replaced them at 300+, only because they fell apart. Up to that point, they worked just fine based on the fact the parking/emergency brake still held the car in place completely. Now driving a 2003 Sentra, 6-speed, even more fun!

    OK, still a kid at heart when driving certain roads :angel:
    Also keep a medallion on my visor that my grandmother gave me (after it was blessed) that says, "Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly"
     
    tjb1975 and AROTC-dad like this.
  13. USMCGrunt

    USMCGrunt Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2010
    Messages:
    1,667
    Likes Received:
    811
    Great advice! Best thing you can do now is to try and understand what it means to be the parent of a future serviceman.
     
    Pima and tjb1975 like this.
  14. tjb1975

    tjb1975 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2015
    Messages:
    191
    Likes Received:
    118
    Are any of you aware of any other online forums, facebook groups, etc. for parents of cadets or service members?
     
  15. Jcleppe

    Jcleppe Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2010
    Messages:
    5,537
    Likes Received:
    837
    Unless your son's Battalion has a parents club or something along those lines, then there really isn't much out there. My son's battalion had none of these, they did have a facebook page where they would post some pictures and some updates but it mainly informational. To be honest, we met some cadet parents at orientation, saw a couple on Mom and Dad's weekends, and then at graduation, there was no parent facebook page or clubs. I know the SAs seem to have a parents club and page for a lot of things, some even have books on how parents get through the four years (Author is one of the parents on this board by the way). ROTC at traditional colleges seem to have less of this, some exceptions I'm sure.

    Honestly, this is probably the best site to get information on the process and what comes next for your cadet.
     
    EDelahanty, Pima and tjb1975 like this.
  16. Pima

    Pima Parent

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2007
    Messages:
    12,797
    Likes Received:
    931
    1000X agreement with Jcleppe. This is probably the best site you will find for ROTC cadets.

    I am a spouse of a now retired O5 that I dated throughout college when he was an AFROTC cadet. Lived 21 yrs as a military spouse. DS entered AFROTC as a scholarship recipient the month Bullet retired from the AF.

    The best advice I can give you is to not ask any direct questions to your child. Don't say: Well I read on xyz site that you should have this or that. Instead say, Xmas/Hanakkuh is coming up and I thought I would get you ....
    ~ JMPO the well, I read on this site can feel intrusive to them. The I was thinking about getting you a certain pair of boots or a certain watch, what would you like more will open up the line of communication.
    ~~ He will probably say what brand of boots he would prefer or the type of watch, running shoes, etc. From there the door of communication/learning will open up by you saying something simple as why that one over the other? They than will probably say something akin to: Well, that watch has this function I can use for PT. Now they opened another door for you to learn from his life. So, how is PT going? So on and so forth.

    As stated this site is your asset. When they come home for the 1st time (Columbus Day, Thanksgiving whatever)they will probably speak in acronyms. Read the ROTC threads that pertain to your DS aka A/AF/NROTC. As freshmen there are different opportunities offered. CULP is really an AROTC thing. Understanding what CULP stands for and when it is offered will make the conversation go better.
    ~ Thanksgiving dinner I want to do ABC this summer, but I need the CoC to support me. Knowing what ABC is and what the CoC is makes life better because you can reply back well if your CoC does not support you for ABC can you fo MNOP?

    Bullet and I, as military parents backed 1000% off not only when he was in AFROTC, but also at UPT. We did the backdoor opening like I said about boots and watches. AFROTC as a sophomore they vie for a Summer Field Training spot in Feb. DS's bday is in Feb. Instead of asking him; Have you heard about results yet, or when do you think you will hear? I just said DS would you like us to buy you another dress blues pair of pants for your bday gift. From there he would open up.
     
    tjb1975, cb7893 and EDelahanty like this.
  17. tjb1975

    tjb1975 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2015
    Messages:
    191
    Likes Received:
    118
    I asked DS for a pic of him in uniform. He finally complied. Now I'm a hot mess of tears. He looks like a baby in that uniform whereas before (pre-uniform and Army) I thought he looked like my man-child. *sigh*
     
    AROTC-dad likes this.
  18. DanGir

    DanGir Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2012
    Messages:
    137
    Likes Received:
    30
    Reddit rotc is another website that has some info. Not as good as SAF though.
     
    tjb1975 likes this.
  19. running615

    running615 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    25
    My son texted me a picture of his leg and one foot in uniform. I asked for a full shot and he told me it is against regulations. That's what I'm dealing with! (His leg looked good though)
     
    tjb1975 likes this.
  20. Jcc123

    Jcc123 Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2010
    Messages:
    889
    Likes Received:
    280
    Your son is pulling your leg.
     
    tjb1975, running615 and AF6872 like this.

Share This Page