Athletic Recruit who isn't "into" the military

[myboy2012]

DS has dreamed of Annapolis since he could say the word. We always told him to work hard, be a leader and perhaps he'd get the chance. He followed our advice and received a nomination, he's academically and physically qualified and we are waiting to hear on DoDMERB status.

DS informed us today that a classmate has been recruited by USNA and USAFA to play football. He was excited until his friend said: "Yeah, I'm going to accept the appointment...I'm just really not into this whole military thing." DS is devastated...there's the possibility that he might not get the appointment he desperately wants (you never know until that envelope arrives) and his classmate who could care less has two...

[Bumblebee]

Its very frustrating I'm sure.

Some people want it for different reasons.

Money is a large part of it.

[Pima]

It is frustrating as a parent to watch our children in any situation be upset. As a citizen it is more upsetting to know that there maybe someone who is serving for the wrong reason. I hope for your son that he does get his dream, but I also hope he has a back up plan. My ds wants the AFA and that is it. If he doesn't get it he will be going to get his commission via AFROTC, thus he will get his ultimate dream of being an officer and that is all that matters. How you get there doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is that you get there.
We have a friend who got only 1 nom for the AFA, but not the USNA, when they found out another cadet took the AFA our friend was than offered the USNA (which was their 1st choice), so you never know what may happen.
In the end if your sons friend hasn't really thought about what the next 9 years will be like (if they take flight training 8 yrs after finishing UPT or @32)he might be very sorry.
Unfortunately, there are people there for the wrong reasons, but there are also people in the AFA that are attending to get a pilot slot and will leave as soon as possible to become a bus driver in the sky. Everyone is there for different reason, we just have to believe that no matter what happens it happens for a reason.

My best wishes for your son that his dream comes true.

[myboy2012]

Pima,

Yes, it is frustrating. DS definately has a backup plan. He'll also go the ROTC route. He has been accepted to 2 very good colleges and each has offered him scholarships (although he is waiting to hear about NROTC). He wants to be a Naval Officer. His first choice is to go to Annapolis but if that doesn't happen, he knows there are other ways to accomplish his dream. The most upsetting thing is that we look at an appointment to any service academy as an honor reserved for the very best of the best. How sad that there is someone who isn't there with his whole heart into it while there are others who would do anything to be given the chance.

[Pima]

I know your feeling, but I still believe that in this day and age with the military being overtaxed and overburdened that I actually pity the child. Free education or to be able to play ball is never the reason to join. If my ds did not have a back-up plan for ROTC, I would tell him don't take it. 4 yrs of educ., 5 yrs, active and 3 yrs res., before you add on any committment to train for your "real" job, i.e. flying is 8 yrs after pinning on your wings (@ 18 mos to get at least for the AF) means that he will be @32 before he can say goodby to the service, no free education or playing a sport is worth that...only if your heart and soul is in it will you look at it with joy and glee. I had a friend who did it for the free education, she was called up from the reserves from Desert Storm I and stated to me that she felt like she made a deal with the devil. She resigned her commission as soon as she got back.

My DS originally wanted to go to Notre Dame AFROTC for a long time, he eventually decided he wanted the AFA. I am sure that your DS is the same as mine, they want to serve as an officer and they will.

[mom3boys]

I talked to a local mom whose son is an athlete at a SA. She knows my son is an athlete, too (although for a non-revenue generating sport, unlike her son). She asked if mine will be entering through the front door or the back door. Her son was recruited and did not have to seek a nom (read: did not jump through the hoops and mass of paperwork associated w/ seeking mulitple noms). He hadn't considered an SA until the recruiters came to call...but he has loved the academy and looks forward to being an officer after his athletic career ends. The young man you speak of may have a change of heart, or may choose not to attend. The academies cannot fill their sports rosters with top athletes who have dreamed of nothing else their entire lives...it's just the facts. If they did that, bball and football would be simply intramurals, wouldn't it?

[Pima]

I agree, but I also wonder, when the SA's were created did they recruit athletes, or just potential officers?

I honestly have no problem with it, because these candidates must also meet the rigors of gpa, sat, act, etc. We have a friend whose son is a jr. the AFA has already contacted him back in OCT for swimming. They are considering it and I know he will be a fine officer and would have made it in either way. I am not sure he will do it b/c he was a military brat, but Dad retired many moons ago and he likes his home state...my bet if he gets UNC, he'll go there otherwise he'll go AFA

[usna1985]

What you say happens -- kids attend SAs solely, or at least primarily, b/c it is their best chance to play Div I football. A couple of comments (my opinion only).

1. Some kids make comments like the one made by the son's friend b/c they think it's cool or macho ("yeah, I don't care"). Deep down, maybe the guy does care -- who knows.

2. Even if they're going to a SA to play football, some will end up loving it and, to everyone's surprise, end of making the military a career. I personally know several examples. Not suggesting this is common, but it happens.

3. If they really don't like USNA, my guess is that they'll transfer after one or two years. Doesn't solve the "admissions" issue, but it's hard to commit for 9 years to something you don't like at all.

4. While I'm sure the situation is discouraging, like so many things in life, it happens and there's not a lot you can do about it. As an adult, you know this will happen over and over again in various contexts (jobs you should get but someone else does, etc.). Thus, worrying about it only makes you more depressed and won't do a thing to improve your son's situation.

I really hope it works out for your son and that he gets the chance to fulfill his dream. Try to keep your (and his) focus on that and forget about what may or may not be going on with those around you.

[LineInTheSand]

This reminds me of Eckel. That is the USNA grad who wasn't really into it...got his commission as an ensign in the US Navy and never made it to LTjg because the Navy gave him the big ole boot. He has to pay back the US govt. for the investment the tax payers made. He now plays for the New England Patriots (hate them), and people want to say he's a good guy because he served in the Navy. Well to those people, he didn't serve honorably and he was able to do what few people can, NOT make O-2. That's just pathetic.


He's pathetic...and I'm done with the Patriots (for a variety of reasons, BOOOOOO).

[Just_A_Mom]

For another view -

read "Absolutely American" - he highlights and follows a recruited football player. This guy was into football and only football. WP was his only DI choice so he went. They seriously doubted he would make an officer.
He was just so bad militarily - wouldn't shave, shine his shoes etc.....
he almost didn't commit. they put him in charge of beast summer before committment and it clicked. all of it.
then the Giants wanted to draft him. something line $800,000. they said come now or never.
won't spoil it for you but in my copy is a picture of him leading troops in Afghanistan.