Contact With Cadre

EDelahanty

10-Year Member
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May 7, 2010
Messages
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Cadet Delahanty is nearing the end of his second year of what seems to be a surprisingly successful ROTC/college experience. Since freshman orientation I have had no contact with his cadre, and I have anticipated this will continue until his commissioning in two years. I assume this is normal (though I'd be happy to hear otherwise). I don't need assurance about his progress from the cadre, and if he needs his pillow fluffed or the crusts removed from his PB&J, he's mature enough to speak up for himself.

So, why this post? Well, a gap in our schedules has afforded the opportunity to go fishing when I pick him up from school. It turns out the cost of a charter boat is the same for 2 people as for 4. Would it be inappropriate to invite a cadre member for a day of fishing? What if it were someone involved in his first two years? Obviously I am hesitant to do anything which could be construed as currying favor.
 
you said things were going prety well, right? Seems like not much upside and a whole lot of downside possible with this plan. What about two of his cadet friends?
 
I'd leave it up to Cadet Delahanty as to who to invite, if anyone. If he invites someone from the cadre presumably it will be because of his relationship with them. If he invites a couple buds, in or out of ROTC, so be it. Finally, he may just want to have some quality alone time with his parent! Nah... what was I thinking! :biggrin:
 
Leave it to your child.

If he wants to invite a ROTC cadet, GREAT! If he wants to invite a college friend GREAT TOO! If he wants to reconnect with a HS buddy GREAT TOO!

Are you placing limitations on who cadet Delahanty can invite?

Your bigger issue is being the 3rd wheel for the day. Whoever he invites he will hang with them over you. Just a fact of life.

Would I tell my child to invite someone? YES!

If they do, I would spend the day sitting back and relishing the fact that they have started their life, I would be the proverbial fly on the wall. I would come home happier than a pig in SHEAATT knowing he flew the nest. Enough analogies to get my drift?
 
Leave it to your child.

If he wants to invite a ROTC cadet, GREAT! If he wants to invite a college friend GREAT TOO! If he wants to reconnect with a HS buddy GREAT TOO!

Are you placing limitations on who cadet Delahanty can invite?

Your bigger issue is being the 3rd wheel for the day. Whoever he invites he will hang with them over you. Just a fact of life.

Would I tell my child to invite someone? YES!

If they do, I would spend the day sitting back and relishing the fact that they have started their life, I would be the proverbial fly on the wall. I would come home happier than a pig in SHEAATT knowing he flew the nest. Enough analogies to get my drift?

I believe he was asking about inviting a member of the cadre.

Wow, tough kids, there must be something wrong with mine and his friends, we all went camping and I was never treated like a fly on the wall, we all had a great time. Must be that Pacific West Coast air and water.
 
EDelahanty, I am available to attend a chartered fishing trip. :smile:
 
Speaking as cadet I would feel uncomfortable hanging out with cadre outside of ROTC specifically as an MSI-MSIII. You are still in training mode for the LDAC capstone and training at this point seems to conflict with fun. It's kind of like asking a current professor to go camping.

As a MSIV (soon graduating/commissioning) I have noticed that a lot of the cadre lighten up and joke around with the senior class quite often either at FTXs or in the training room. At this point barring a conflict of interest I would feel completely comfortable "hanging out" with cadre outside of the ROTC setting (like a socializing intro for officers and how we will be expected to interact in the real army )

Obviously the sir(s) can chime in and correct me but that is just my feeling.
 
Concur with Scout...We've had Cadre who chose to associate with Cadets outside of business hours, and it never goes well. Not what we get paid to do.
 
Cadet Delahanty is nearing the end of his second year of what seems to be a surprisingly successful ROTC/college experience. Since freshman orientation I have had no contact with his cadre, and I have anticipated this will continue until his commissioning in two years. I assume this is normal (though I'd be happy to hear otherwise). I don't need assurance about his progress from the cadre, and if he needs his pillow fluffed or the crusts removed from his PB&J, he's mature enough to speak up for himself.

So, why this post? Well, a gap in our schedules has afforded the opportunity to go fishing when I pick him up from school. It turns out the cost of a charter boat is the same for 2 people as for 4. Would it be inappropriate to invite a cadre member for a day of fishing? What if it were someone involved in his first two years? Obviously I am hesitant to do anything which could be construed as currying favor.

I take it here that you are talking about a member of the cadre who is leaving this particular post. Still not entirely comfortable with the potential appearance. The thougth of thanking someone for their excellent service is certainly laudable though. A token gift - favorite picture of cadet and cadre framed wouldn't be a bad show of appreciation if the 2 were particularly close. Just a visit with a heart felt thank you would always be appropriate.

Anyway, I'd like to see pics with Patentesq and Jcleppe on your fishing charter. :shake:
 
I'd be the one holding no fish, but an ice-cold beer (perhaps one in each hand) and smiling!!

Hey, if there is going to be beer -- make room for the crazy lady from Ohio on this boat:shake:

Honestly, I thought to highjack this thread for a serious question about contact with the cadre. Here's the situation - During DS's application phase DS and I were both contacted by his ROO regularly - I met him several times also during visits to the school sponsored by AROTC. The last time I spoke with him was at a luncheon they sponsored at orientation and told him I would not be a helicopter parent so that I hope he and DS had a good year, appreciated his support during the 2011 boards yada,yada...

Here we are now approaching the university's Mom's weekend(yeah, I'm even staying in the dorms with DS & roommate:thumb:). Would it be inappropriate to stop by if he's in the office? DS wants me to see some other things on display(photos and the like)at the ROTC building while I'm at school. I don't want to 'copter DS, but it would be nice to see ROO(maybe get to meet up with PMS too, he's new and I've met him once) any feedback??? DS doesn't care, but since the topic came up(although no fishing trips with beer, well, maybe beer at Mom's weekend:biggrin:) just thought I'd see what the general feeling was around here. Thanks guys!
 
Ohio, that's a bit different and I don't think anything would be wrong with that. I've taken my parents to our facilities (we have an ROTC museum type thing in our building) for a quick peek and I think they've met the ROO, but beyond that, it gets risky. Cadre are there to do their jobs. I've had conversations with cadre that many would consider "friendly" and to me they are "friendly" and in good fun, but they are not my friends. I work for them and have no business associating with them outside of the program. Besides that, most cadre have no problem meeting parents (just to put a parent to a cadet type thing), as long as its not a "hey my parent wants to come around every week and see how MSG Joe Schmo is doing."
 
Thanks for the advice, everybody. I figure I'll call up the cadre office to see if I can drop in on the PMS during Cadet Delahanty's exam. (That way he won't know and can't forbid it). The PMS won't be at the battalion much longer, and this is likely to be my only opportunity to see him.

Regarding, ahem, the fishing charter: Although I was planning to invite all of you board participants and lurkers for a memorable fishing adventure, I must confess I haven't been on a chartered fishing boat since I was a kid. After investigating current charter costs, I now realize my budget will accommodate a two person kayak and an 11 foot skiff (to carry the refreshments). There may be one spot still available.

Unless of course I can remember where I hid that winning megazillions ticket...
 
For goodness sake. Find that ticket! They are a bit expensive, aren't they?
 
For goodness sake. Find that ticket! They are a bit expensive, aren't they?

We can stay off the party boats and just go to Seaside NJ. Lot's of beer on the Boardwalk. We just need to avoid Snookie and her friends. They draw too many crowds.
 
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