telling parents

hey, im 15 and a sophomore... I'm having a hard time telling my parents that i want to attend the USAFA or do afrotc. any suggestions?? im freaking out on the inside!

I'm afraid I don't understand you. Are you "freaking out" because your parents are anti-military? Wanting to serve your country as an officer is, in most eyes, an honorable thing. I see no reason (other than the one stated before) why you would be "freaking out" about telling your parents.

Why do you have a hard time telling them? Do they not like the military? There are many Mids that parents didn't have an affiliation to the military.

The Academies give you a stellar education with you having to give a 5 year commitment unless you go Pilot in which you give a 10 year commitment. Unless we know why they wouldn't be so accepting we really cant offer much advice other than follow your heart.

they arent anti military, but im just nervous. I'm not sure how to share it with them.

Don't be nervous, just tell them. If I were you I would start off by asking them if "we" (you and your parents) could have a talk about "my" (your) future. Then explain to them that you're interested in the possibility of becoming an USAF officer through USAFA or AFROTC.

Thanks! I have told another family member who is very supportive. i guess all i can do is hope my parents are the same!

You have to be pretty tough to go to an Academy telling your parents will be the easy part...

Go to the Academies web page and print the brochure and give it to them. I bet they will be gleaming with pride and a little fear.

Good luck!

Thank you

I was kind of nervous to tell my parents that I wanted to go to a service academy/be in the military, but I just did...I said, "Hey Mom, I`ve been looking around, and I think I want to be in the military, and go to the Naval Academy." I never actually directly told my dad, I think he was elsewhere at the time; I think my mom told him.

Thanks and Good Luck!
Usafa or Afrotc '19

Re: Telling your parents

My best advice is to take your parents to the local "military night" which is usually sponsored by your local congressman/woman or senator. This night is always quite informative and gives you a great deal of information about all of the academies as well as life at the academy. Also, I am sure that many parents on this forum would be happy to speak with your parents over the phone to tell them about our experiences as parents.
If you send me a private message, I would be happy to speak with them, as I am sure that others on this forum would also offer to do.
Best regards in your decision.
batmom

Remember, these people are parents who have loved and nurtured you, who want you to live your life to the fullest. Other posters have given you good advice. Also, asking your parents for help in exploring your secondary education options might be an easier way to get them on board.

At fifteen, you are still some time away from an actual college decision but planning and preparation begin NOW (if not earlier). Take the most challenging courses available in your high- or home-school. Continue to work hard in sports, find an EC which truly interests you and involve yourself. Get a part time job, get leadership experience. Join CAP or JROTC if available in your area.

Good luck!!

I second everything fencersmother said (even if she is a Steelers fan). As a parent without any military background, I was unnerved (at first) at my son's decision to pursue a career in the profession of arms. However, once I recognized it was his dream, I offered to help him in his pursuit in any way I could. I bought the book "Air Force Academy Candidate Book : How to Prepare, How to Get In, How to Survive" by William L. Smallwood for my son and he shared it with me. My son was very open about what he wanted to do and how he wanted to get there.

I'm hopeful that your parents will support you in the pursuit of your dream. Make sure they have access to information about USAFA. Share this website with them. Print a copy of the Academy catalog (http://www.academyadmissions.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/USAFA_Entire_Catalog.pdf) so they can see the application process in black and white. Keep them informed.

Best wishes in your pursuit.

Thank you guys!

I had the same nervousness about telling my parents I wanted t join the military. They're not exactly anti-military, but more of the no-daughter-of-mine-is-going-to-join brand. I never understood why. However, just be blunt and honest with them. Give a passionate list of your reasons as to why you want the Air Force (for example: you want to be a pilot, you want to protect the country that has given you so much etc.). If your parents ask "why you" like mine did, just ask them what would happen if everyone said that and decided not to join. Don't escalate the discussion into an argument, because that will get you nowhere. Even if they are still unnerved by your decision and initially unsupportive, they'll come around eventually when you prove to them how much you want it!!

I agree with alyswimmer! I was always interested in the service academies, even as a middle schooler, so it wasn't a surprise to my dad that I wanted to go to USAFA. My dad is really supportive but my mom wasn't at first. My mom and I have a really close bond and she would have rather seen me go to the local University. After telling her that my passion was serving in the military, especially as an officer, she understood that I was being serious about my decision. If it's your passion, your parents should understand and back up your decision 100 percent.

Of course one of the arguments you can have at the ready is that you will receive an almost half-million-dollar education with no charge to them or to you (except books and a few other items). So, they don't unload their retirement account so you can go watch PennState basketball. Well, that was harsh. OK, they keep their money, and you get a WORLD CLASS education with unbelievable learning opportunities, a chance to travel the globe, go as high-tech as any MIT or Carnegie Mellon student.

And, this m ight sway them: you have a guaranteed job after four years.

A couple years back, one of the ALO's in my state asked me to meet with an applicant of theirs and help them with the process a little if I could. I met with him. First question I asked was: "Most of this is administrative in nature like essays, medical, etc... why can't your parents help you". First answer out of his mouth was: "I haven't told my parents yet that I'm applying".

Hmmmmmm. I gave him 2 opinions. The first was the stern and would could be viewed by some as the "unsympathetic" opinion. (If you don't have enough maturity and enough respect for your parents to tell them you're applying; then maybe you aren't mature enough yet to apply to the academy and join the military). That was purely for "REFLECTION". I felt he really needed to look inside of himself. The 2nd opinion was how to actually handle it.

For this poster, he is pretty young still, so it is understandable and acceptable to be a little apprehensive in telling a parent. This is what I would do. (I say I, you may not agree. That's cool).

I would let your parents know that you're getting interested in College and your future. Show them a list of 4-5 schools that you're interested in. One being, the academy. Get their verbal and non-verbal feedback about the schools. And by the way, I'm not suggesting 4-5 schools to play psychology 101 on your parents. If you're not applying to at least 4-5 schools, you are making a BIG MISTAKE. You can want the academy all you want. But that doesn't mean you're necessarily going to receive an appointment. 12,000+ people annually apply to the air force academy. 3000-4000 become qualified for the academy. 1000-1200 actually receive an appointment.

Then; after you receive your parent's feedback on your list, talk about the classes you'll need to take in high school to get accepted to these very good schools. Mention that you might take JrROTC or CAP so you can get a "FEEL" for the military. (On a side note; JrROTC and CAP are indeed good programs, but don't think for a minute that if you really like and know either of those programs, that you are somehow better prepared or have a better understanding for the real military and academies). YOU DON'T. Most kids I know who went to the academy and took CAP, JrROTC, or even scouting, mentioned how it helped them learn some discipline, respect, marching, saluting, and even how to maintain a uniform. But after that; it was NOTHING like they thought it would be. Not saying this to discourage you from taking those activities, just that you can learn discipline, respect, teamwork, etc... in many other activities. It doesn't have to be CAP or JrROTC. But in your case, your parents might see it as YOU trying to get a "FEEL" for the military, and it might make it easier for them to support you.

Anyway; that's what I recommend. Start with "COLLEGE" in general as you being interested in. Mention the different schools, including the academy. Mention the pros and cons of each. "If you don't know the pros and cons, then maybe you have some research to do so you know what it is you really want". Then, your parents and you can discuss it together and understand each other. best of luck.... mike....

Just chiming in with a data point - I would never have chosen the military as a career for my son but once he told us his dream I have supported his choice 100%.

akandrews said:

Just chiming in with a data point - I would never have chosen the military as a career for my son but once he told us his dream I have supported his choice 100%.

Click to expand...

Same here.