Lots of confusing details

My DS has received a Congressional and a Senatorial nomination to the USAFA and then also a Congressional nomination to USNA and also West Point.

USAFA asked him to retake his CFA in December, (and he did) showing major improvement in all areas except pushups.

West Point recently sent him a message that they are concerned about his BMI based on DODMERB findings. His medical physical was completed back in July, so why would they only now be questioning it?

He is a three sport athlete, and neither the AFA or the NA have questioned this. He is certainly in shape, but at 6'3" tall, with a large frame, his weight is on the high side of the "chart". All of this is concerning and confusing. Going from a football champion lineman to a hockey forward, and then to a track thrower should mean something in all of this (all while taking only AP classes and college math classes). He is no slacker...and yet, I think he is starting to feel like maybe they are going to constantly question his abilities.

Meanwhile, there are colleges who want him for football (which would mean he needs to bulk up), and yet he is holding out for an academy appointment and/or a college with a stellar Aerospace Engineering program.

These back and forth details are pushing all of us to the limit. I wish we had that darned crystal ball. He does not want to accept a college offer (none are full rides) because he believes in keeping his promises, if he accepts it, then THAT is where he will go. Limbo is how we are all feeling. (I have a feeling there are many of you feeling the same.)

I know this process is long and competitive for a reason, but there are days when I am wondering if he has made the right choices. His integrity and strengths are apparent as I watch this 17 year old make some very grown up decisions.

I guess this is nothing more than a mom's ramble to people (you) who probably "get it" more than anyone else. The average person has NO IDEA just how stressful and crazy this whole military academy process can be.

Had any of you who are already in the AFA accepted a college offer and started that path before you were offered an appointment? If so, how do you handle the big decisions that go along with it. I am afraid if DS does nothing, he will be left with nothing in the end if none of the academies take him...SIGH

Thanks for reading a mom's confusing ramblings!

Hi there,

First... you're right in that it's a roller coaster ride for sure. And unless you've been through the SA process it's hard to explain just how daunting and nervewracking it can be. The folks here DO understand.... and their families have surived so you will too.

Second... The one piece of advice I might offer is to stop thinking about this as a college choice. Seriously. Many (us too at one point) border on doing that and it truly is not the best approach.

Instead this needs to be a choice about what your exceptional young man wants to do BEYOND college. If that's to serve as an officer in X branch, then he needs to go "all in" to make that happen. And his Plan B's should include alternate paths to the same goal (eg ROTC for same branch, etc).

If he isn't sure that serving as an officer and a minimal 9 year active committment (plus inactive reserves after that) is what he wants, there is no shame in that at all! It's simply not for everyone. Don't look at the "opportunity lost" by not going to an SA, instead look at it as embracing what his dream really is or might become elsewhere.

If you always keep that "beyond college" perspective as the #1 priority, it does become a bit less confusing and daunting..... but only a bit.

Good luck and I'm sure he's going to do great no matter what!

buster_sit! -- make sure you read this thread if you haven't
http://www.serviceacademyforums.com/showthread.php?t=27658&page=15

MedB said:

Hi there,

First... you're right in that it's a roller coaster ride for sure. And unless you've been through the SA process it's hard to explain just how daunting and nervewracking it can be. The folks here DO understand.... and their families have surived so you will too.

Second... The one piece of advice I might offer is to stop thinking about this as a college choice. Seriously. Many (us too at one point) border on doing that and it truly is not the best approach.

Instead this needs to be a choice about what your exceptional young man wants to do BEYOND college. If that's to serve as an officer in X branch, then he needs to go "all in" to make that happen. And his Plan B's should include alternate paths to the same goal (eg ROTC for same branch, etc).

If he isn't sure that serving as an officer and a minimal 9 year active committment (plus inactive reserves after that) is what he wants, there is no shame in that at all! It's simply not for everyone. Don't look at the "opportunity lost" by not going to an SA, instead look at it as embracing what his dream really is or might become elsewhere.

If you always keep that "beyond college" perspective as the #1 priority, it does become a bit less confusing and daunting..... but only a bit.

Good luck and I'm sure he's going to do great no matter what!

Click to expand...

Thank you for your "food for thought". My son has always envisioned himself as a military officer and had spoke of enlisting "when he turns 18" for years prior to finding out about the military academies. They all just match very well with his ambitions and dreams (well, the USAFA and USNA a little more so than USMA). Him being an excellent math and science student solidified that he NEEDS a great, and challenging college education to do what he wants to do. Therefore, the applying to the academies became no brainers. He fully intends to be career military. He has also applied to three ROTC programs and has been accepted into a very nice engineering college. He just refuses to commit to anyone else until he hears that the three academies do not want him. Does that make sense? As a parent, I would rather he take the "bird in the hand", but he refuses to accept the offer...because he is holding out for an academy appointment. I will not lie and say that it is easy being a parent in this situation, he is a 17 year old kid who is making some giant and life changing decisions. We all know that the male brain is not fully developed when they are 17....this frightens me. But, I digress...

I want what is truly best for him, and I hate to see any other opportunity be lost in the mean time. I know exactly what college offer he will accept if he receives no appointment. I keep saying it is not too shabby for his plan "d"!

In all of this, the waiting is definitely the hardest part! Thanks again for your input!

Hi there,

We are in a similar situation...waiting to hear from USAFA, but accepted to another wonderful University and ROTC program. My son doesn't have to give an acceptance to the university until May 1. I spoke with the ROTC commander last week and he assured me that many of his applicants are doing the same thing. He said that my son will continue to be considered for scholarships, etc. and they will wait for him to let them know once he hears from USAFA.

I thought maybe this would help you to know that it isn't unusual for universities to be waiting for SA applicants. As long as you don't go past the acceptance deadline, then really you are just waiting to hear from SA.

Waiting isn't fun, but at least there is still time.

This may not be completely applicable to your DS, as he may have binding commitments to worry about. But I did accept another college's scholarship and later backed out on it after I decided on the Academy.

This was also before I know whether I was accepted, though the difference is I thought I'd actually decide against the Academy even if I got in. (So glad I didn't!) I can certainly understand wanting to keep promises--the phone call to tell my admissions counselor that "just kidding--I'm not going to your college" was probably one of the more uncomfortable things I've done. But if he doesn't have to sign a contract, then I think any college will understand. If he wants to try explaining the situation to them, that might not be bad either. They know he's applying for other schools, and obviously they want him. I think it's probably better from their perspective to say "sure, we can take you if the Academy doesn't let you in" and cross their fingers that the Academy doesn't, than to say "no, you must accept or deny NOW" and know they'll probably lose him.

The new military says, your weight and waist size are more important than your physical fitness level, health, or job performance.

There are also ejection seat weight limits for those pursuing a flying career.

I think most have a limit of 240#. (For those skinny people out there...there is also a min weight...110# I think).

So it doesn't end at your appointment.