Just parents on here?

It seems to me like there are more parents on here taking about their dear ds and what not, rather than the actual students. Is it the parents or the kids that want to go to the Service Academy/ROTC/SMC? At all of the admissions events I have been at, all of the admissions counselors make a point about not wanting to talk with mom and dad and actually talking with the applicant. I totally understand when parents are talking to each other about the service and what not but when they are saying things like " My ds wants to know... " it kinda throws a red flag that mom and dad want the kid to go to the Academy or SMC or whatnot and that they kid may actually not want to. There are plenty of kids here that don't have their mom and dad asking questions for them. Just wondering

The site has quite a mix; however, the interest in the site once admitted goes down for many so therefore you don't see as many cadets as you do parents/alums/etc. When the application season is in high gear you will see more applicants. Just because a parent posts here doesn't mean their child isn't also asking questions in this or other venues.

I have seen it more than once that parents are on here because when they ask their teenaged child about something they get a response such as "it's good" which doesn't give a lot of details, so they look for answers other places as well.

Ok. Makes sense. I didn't think of it that way

Hi, I completely understand what you’re talking about. It’s a very fine line being a “helicopter parent” to a parent-asking question your student may not know or think about. I feel it is important to be involved to help guide but not do the work. Many adults have first hand knowledge of service academy as alum and parents who have experienced the admissions process. I think it’s a good place to start with a wealth of information. However, you must be careful and search two or more sources of information. There are some well meaning to cadets starting rumors and everything in between.


Push Hard, Press Forward

34KING18 said:

I totally understand when parents are talking to each other about the service and what not but when they are saying things like " My ds wants to know... " it kinda throws a red flag that mom and dad want the kid to go to the Academy or SMC or whatnot and that they kid may actually not want to. There are plenty of kids here that don't have their mom and dad asking questions for them. Just wondering

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Having a DD that has no interest in attending a SA, although she does not yet know she wants to (I AM KIDDING).

Regardless why questions are asked I think it is very important for some parents to become informed about a SA so they can decide if they should strong encouarge their childern to apply or help them if they decide on their own to apply. Just like kids, some parents are also clueless about SAs.

The opposite of parents strongly pushing for their childer to apply to SAs are parents that think SAs are not for their childern.

For many parents, there is simply zero knowledge of any military academy, nor is there interest nor knowledge of military life in general. They are asking questions to educate themselves, to assist their child in making one of the major decisions in life.

For the kids, we're here to give the benefit our varied experience. Doesn't mean it's always right, but it does remind one of the old saying: Age & cunning beats youth every time.

My DD did not even know the SAs existed until March of her junior year, so we were way behind the 8 ball. This forum has helped us both immensely in navigating the application process and we learned much from others mistakes and obstacles. I'm convinced that because of this forum, we were able to catch up and she was able to get her app completed way before her deadline. And, no, I did not do it for her, but I certainly sent her in the right direction and she succeeded in getting it done. It also helped her to complete her apps for her 6 other college choices as well. I hope more parents find their way here. And truth be told, my DD would love to spend more time here, but she is just too dang busy.

Falcons, I think that is quite true: many kids aren't on here because let's face it - as the Best of the Best, they simply USE their parents to garner information.

And, if you really look at the numbers, the greatest majority of people on this site are lurkers (another reason why it is strongly encouraged in the most severe tones NOT to use your NAME as your screen name).

I totally agree with the posters here. My DS was a student who wanted to be a pilot/astronaut. He is very mechanically inclined. And yes, very smart. He was a gifted student graduated in the top 5 in his high school class. In his junior year, he received a information packet from The US Air Force Academy and NROTC. He wanted to go to MIT in the worst way. I tried my to guide him, not push him. He applied to four schools once of which was MIT. He didn't get accepted. He applied for an NROTC scholarship, which was to MIT. He attended Summer Seminar at USAFA in 2007 and made the decision not to be pursue an appointment. He attended Penn State and earned a degree in Physics/Astrophysics with a math minor. He is now married and works for his father in law installing office cubicles. He had a lot of promise, opportunity and potential. He felt, the world owed him. I attempted to explain to him, in my opinion the world does owe anybody anything. I am very proud of him. To earn of degree of this level, from one of the best universities in the country is awesome. He is now learning about life.

Kids don't know what they don't know. Parents, with 20+ years of ups and downs in the workforce, worry more and know more questions to ask. That's the way I see it.

Daughter had been on a sail back from the Caribbean her senior year. High school trip tagging turtles. Captain had an arrangement with USNA to berth on the Chesapeake at USNA. She informed us out of the blue at the end of her senior year that she would apply. USNA or nothing. She did it all herself but we helped a little in the short time she left us. Never was a helicopter parent (I Think) but did always bring sandwiches and drinks for any three day weekend for the Company members who could not take liberty.

A true conversation with a new deck hand a few years back. "Listen kid, I've been 22! You've never been 45! Im two life times ahead of you, if you want to make to see 44, LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY!" He didn't realize the danger he put himself in, when he put his body between a winch and mooring cleat trying to push a heavy machinery with his legs. I still shutter thinking about it now. And he told us he had experience on board ships when he was in the Navy. He was self-smart. Most kids think they have done it all in their short 17 years on earth. Rudder in-put is always a good idea when charting a new course.

Push Hard, Press Forward

34KING18 said:

At all of the admissions events I have been at, all of the admissions counselors make a point about not wanting to talk with mom and dad and actually talking with the applicant

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I think that is very interesting.

If you look at the SA threads here regarding ALO/BGO/FFR many of them want to talk to the folks.

The reason why impo is it gives them insight regarding if the family is pushing the candidate, or if they support them.

I agree with others regarding parents. Bullet served 21 years. He was a ROTC grad. However, life changes.

I have been here for years, basically when it was in its infancy. When I joined www.collegeconfidential.com had just as active SA forum as here. Now, that forum is basically silent because they all came here.
~ Point is if you look at collegeconfidential you will see that it is mostly parents too because we are old enough to understand that it has changed since the days we were 18 applying for college.

I am sure every branch has a social media forum like the AF....www.baseops.net. You will not see parents posting there.

34KING18 said:

At all of the admissions events I have been at, all of the admissions counselors make a point about not wanting to talk with mom and dad and actually talking with the applicant

Click to expand...

I think that is very interesting.

If you look at the SA threads here regarding ALO/BGO/FFR many of them want to talk to the folks.

The reason why impo is it gives them insight regarding if the family is pushing the candidate, or if they support them.

I agree with others regarding parents. Bullet served 21 years. He was a ROTC grad. However, life changes.

I have been here for years, basically when it was in its infancy. When I joined www.collegeconfidential.com had just as active SA forum as here. Now, that forum is basically silent because they all came here.
~ Point is if you look at collegeconfidential you will see that it is mostly parents too because we are old enough to understand that it has changed since the days we were 18 applying for college.

If you want to

We are a non-military family--knew NOTHING about SA! Son heard about them through a friend. At some point in the process I found this site. Before his interview together we combed through this site for interview questions--think that information helped him clinch his interview. He's now a youngster, and we rarely him from or see him he is way to busy to spend time here! I come back because the advice here helped my son at the start of his jouney. I hope I can occasionally help others. Also visiting here in a weird way helps me feel closer to the world my son is now a part of. I'm really just trying to wrap my mind around where he is what he's doing.

34KING18 said:

It seems to me like there are more parents on here taking about their dear ds and what not, rather than the actual students.

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34KING18: take a look at the posters over the last two days. It seems to be 99% students. I agree with all the responses provided and would add that the timing of admissions and acceptance seasons also plays a part on who is posting.

I guess I'll answer from the perspective of a parent that does post a lot. For me I found this site looking for information on a process/topic I knew very little about. While yes I was enlisted in the AF I knew next to nothing about the process of applying and I LIVE IN COLORADO SPRINGS! Sad I know but true. So I came to learn so I could give my DS the best advice I could based in part what I learned here. What made me stay around was the people on the site and seeing that I could also provide some help to new candidates with the knowledge I've gained and by providing perspective of what my son went through being the no sports kid that got into Prep and then AFA. Yes all second hand from a parent's perspective but that is why I will ALWAYS default to the current cadets such as Haleym, BlahKahuna, AFrpaso, Wildeblue and baileydb.

As for the " My ds wants to know... " I can see it from a different perspective. I see it as the DD/DS asked a question they have no clue what the answer is. Putting parenthood to the side I'm the type of person that when asked a question that I don't know the answer to I feel the urge to go find out information/answer on the topic to educate myself as best I can. I also see it as a testament to the relationship that the parent and child have that the child would go to the first and most reliable source of education/life they have had up to that point, the parent.

All that aside the red flag I look out for the most is when a parent's says "we're applying" or "we're going to XX Academy". That's when I wonder if the child really is applying for themselves (which could still be the case) or not.

When my DS did a campus tour of West Point, the head of the Admissions Office told him and the other candidates to not use forums such as this one.

Him being a rule-follower, my DS has not used this forum.

However, I believe this forum contains valuable information, and I wasn't on the tour, so that's why I'm on this forum.

Padre101 said:

When my DS did a campus tour of West Point, the head of the Admissions Office told him and the other candidates to not use forums such as this one.

Him being a rule-follower, my DS has not used this forum.

However, I believe this forum contains valuable information, and I wasn't on the tour, so that's why I'm on this forum.

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A commandant of West Point was a forum member.

My primary reason to sticking around this forum is to counter bad advices. I am not saying that I know everything or I respresent the admissions office. I like to think that based on my background and experience, I usually make fact based postings and qualified my answers (i.e. in my opinion).

It is so easy for candidates or parents not knowing any better to misunderstand postings or not be able distinguish between good and bad advices.

Not picking up anyone, but there is a poster that made sevearl postings that could lead a candidate to believe it is up to candidate to submit or not submit CFA test results after the test. Facts are only CFA test administrators submit the test scores. It is not up to the candidate to decide if the CFA test result should be submitted or not. The CFA test administrator could count the CFA as a practice. What happens if a candidate just reading the "submit CFA" part assumes that he can just ask the CFA administrator to not submit the score, takes the CFA test as a practice, and does it bad. The candidate tells the administrator don't submit the score, but the adminsitrator says what are you talking about it. The candidate states "from the SAF . . . "

Yes, the candidate is stupid for assuming things and not checking with the CFA test administrator about the options he has. Yes, the standard forum moderator answer is people are free to post what they want and readers have to figure out what's good or bad. So, this forum has a high potential, regardless of intentions, to provide bad advices and that's why the admissions office don't like this forum.

Maybe I'm the outlier, but I tend to feel like there are too many parents answering questions with authority they don't have. Asking questions is whatever. The kid should probably ask the questions for himself, but I understand that teenagers don't always have the perspective to know what to ask and parents feel they can come here and ask those questions without being too overbearing to their child.
But it's silly when parents try to post answers to questions much better suited to alums or current mids/cadets or feel entitled to say that a candidate is a good/bad fit for the military.