Frat?

Cadette

New Member
Joined
Jun 15, 2016
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Are cadets allowed to date enlisted from a different branch of the military if they were friends before either of them joined the military? Does anyone know where I could find official information on this? Thanks so much.
 
From the Cadet Sight Picture:
1.3.4.1.4. USAFA Officer Candidates will not maintain unprofessional relationships, to include a prior relationship, with enlisted member unless enlisted member is a member of the cadet's family.
 
One would hope, too, that a cadet is not dating a member of said cadet's family.

LOL. I assume the CSP exception is referring to normal platonic family relationships that could be perceived by others as "unprofessional", but you never know, I suppose...

:benny monkeysmilies:
 
I called and talked to multiple people about this. I'm a prior and almost all my friends are enlisted. I was told that the concern is prior relationship or unprofessional relationship with enlist personnel at the academy. Which makes a lot more sense.
 
You can have a prior relationship with enlisted, but as far as im concerned you can't date enlisted. As a cadet you can date a officer, I currently am dating a '16er whos now a 2nd Lt. The only requirement is that you send up a MFR stating that you have been dating prior to the time that they become an officer.
 
I had someone in my squad last year who asked me the same question, because he was dating a girl who was sent to the prep school when he got an academy appointment.

I did a ton of digging for him to make sure I got him correct answers and we found out that, as Haley pointed out, dating between enlisted and cadets is not allowed even with a prior relationship.

This turned out to be really unfortunate for him, because this also means that when she becomes a freshman, he won't be able to date her again due to the academy's frat rules.
 
Correct LFry, 4*'s, being hardly even human, can't date any upper classmen. They can date other 4*'s all they'd like.
 
And I'm assuming after I would commission if he's still enlisted, it's still not allowed? And is there any way to get around the rules by talking to an AOC?
 
And I'm assuming after I would commission if he's still enlisted, it's still not allowed? And is there any way to get around the rules by talking to an AOC?

Correct. Against the rules, and this is a big, all-services rule, not a pesky little local regulation. "Get around the rules" is a way of thinking to be approached with extreme caution by any officer or officer candidate. What you are looking for is an exception, which means it must be truly exceptional in circumstances, and not put the Service in any danger of setting an unwanted precedent. As in, if an exception was made for you, how many others will now expect the same? Officials who can grant exceptions to Service-wide rules are way up the chain of command, at the 30,000 foot level. You are at sea level. Starting a conversation with the AOC leading with how to get around rules relating to your personal life...well, that would not be my first choice of conversation topic.

I realize running smack into what seems a human-unfriendly regulation can be baffling to those not yet used to military discipline, regulations and expectations of conduct very different from the civilian world.

May I gently suggest you just wait and see how things work out over time? In the meantime, edit your social media and keep private things private. While you are figuring out your path, do not give others the opportunity to report any prohibited behavior. Ultimately, your actions and priorities are up to you, and you will choose your path and, as an adult, own any consequences.
 
Correct. Against the rules, and this is a big, all-services rule, not a pesky little local regulation. "Get around the rules" is a way of thinking to be approached with extreme caution by any officer or officer candidate. What you are looking for is an exception, which means it must be truly exceptional in circumstances, and not put the Service in any danger of setting an unwanted precedent. As in, if an exception was made for you, how many others will now expect the same? Officials who can grant exceptions to Service-wide rules are way up the chain of command, at the 30,000 foot level. You are at sea level. Starting a conversation with the AOC leading with how to get around rules relating to your personal life...well, that would not be my first choice of conversation topic.

I realize running smack into what seems a human-unfriendly regulation can be baffling to those not yet used to military discipline, regulations and expectations of conduct very different from the civilian world.

May I gently suggest you just wait and see how things work out over time? In the meantime, edit your social media and keep private things private. While you are figuring out your path, do not give others the opportunity to report any prohibited behavior. Ultimately, your actions and priorities are up to you, and you will choose your path and, as an adult, own any consequences.
I appreciate your response. We both take our careers seriously and definitely don't want to do anything that would jeapordize our jobs or break the rules. We've kind of resigned ourselves to waiting out his enlistment and seeing if we can work things out from there, I was just curious to see if there was any way to shorten the wait. Thanks so much for your help!
 
You are welcome. When human emotions run into military regulations, it can be messy.

If he were so inclined, he could pursue a commission through an enlisted commissioning program, which eventually resolves the frat issue but does not excuse any interim departures from regs.

Professional behavior is always the way to go. You will figure it out.
 
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