Mom needing some advice

cjcm43a

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Feb 8, 2017
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My DD applied for the ROTC scholarship but was not awarded the scholarship. She has plans to go to a small private school on the east coast in the fall and it is fairly expensive. She is getting a merit scholarship from the school but it only covers about 1/2 of the cost. She is planning to join the Army reserves now. It has been a stressful time trying to find a way for everything to work out for her and we are really needing some feedback.

She is getting TA from the reserves and a portion of the GI bill but it is not enough to cover the cost of the school. She is considering also joining the ROTC once she gets to the school. I am concerned with classes, ROTC, reserves and soccer (she has a position on school's soccer team) that it is just too much of a commitment and she won't be able to do all of it. She definitely wants to go AD and pursue being an officer so she/we are trying to figure out the best way. Oh, it would have been so much simpler if she had gotten the ROTC scholarship but that ship has sailed so to speak. She is a smart kid, above average SAT, AP and honors classes, lettered 4 years in varsity soccer and captain of her soccer teams.

She doesn't want to do the minute man scholarship as she wants the opportunity for active duty.

Any one have any thoughts or advice on all of this? She has to finalize her decisions and time is ticking down now.
 
  1. Try calling the Financial Aid Department and see if they will give her more aid. If you don't ask, you don't know.
  2. My DS was a "walk-on" at Army ROTC at his local State University after being turned down by USNA. He earned a 3.5 year Army scholarship by busing his butt during his first semester.
  3. Consider attending a public college instead of the small private school. This way you can afford all four years without the scholarship. This is the "safest" option.
 
Clearly, she needs to contact admissions at her school and the Professor of Military Science or ROO at her school--and talk about money.
To the ROTC people she needs to discuss opportunities for an ROTC scholarship....she should be honest and let them know she is coming but that the financial situation is untenable/unsustainable. She is showing good faith by joining the reserves.

Is she going to Davidson? She might be able to balance the sport and the ROTC--but she has to talk to the PMS--and she has to realize that if they pay for you o go to school the self-reflection needs to focus around: Do I want to be a professional soccer player or do I want to be an Army officer?

Good luck to you all--right now kids will be giving financial aid awards 'back' to the schools as they turn down the offer to go to other schools. This is agood time to get on the list.
 
Not 'admissions'--it should be 'Financial Aid'--once you are accepted at a school, then the kids can call and talk to them...You could call and talk to Financial Aid--but you cannot/should not call and talk to the ROTC people. The school has demonstrated that they want her to attend...by accepting her.

Good luck with this.
 
cj,

If your daughter has not yet signed the enlistment papers for the Reserves, make sure she talks to the ROO for the ROTC Battalion at the school she plans to attend before she enlists. make sure she explores all her options first. Once she enlists she will be on track to become a SMP cadet, the battalion will most likely not look at offering her a campus scholarship since she has already committed to the Reserves and they can simply offer her a SMP contract.

Talking with the ROO is very important before she locks herself into something she can't get out of. If she joins the Reserves and then decideds later that ROTC is not for her, she will still be obligated to her Reserve Enlistment Contract and will continue to drill. The issue would now be that she could be deployed or sent to training which will conflict with school. The only way she is exempt from this is to contract as a SMP cadet if she joins the Reserves.
 
We have already talked to the ROO at the ROTC Battalion before she considered the reserves. He told us that it is very likely that she would get a campus scholarship in her Sophomore year but he could not make promises. We are not in a financial situation to take a risk like that. If she just joined ROTC with hopes of a scholarship next year and she didn't get it she would have to change schools as we couldn't sustain the finances without it.

We did go back to the financial aid office to see if there was more financial aid available but there isn't. She is interested in going to this school because she wants to play soccer in college and also fell in love with the school when we visited in the fall. She clearly is not on track to become professional soccer and that is just an interest while she is in college. She wants to be an officer in the army and possibly work for the FBI at some point.
 
thank you - I am fairly new to this forum so thank you for the info....!

It's understandable to do a few "bumps" in a row to gain the ability to PM. Be pleasant and people get it.
 
Has your daughter thought about trying the first year before enlisting, she should know if a scholarship is going to be offered by early second semester if not earlier. If it doesn't look like she will receive a campus scholarship, she would still have time to enlist before she starts her second year.
 
We can look into that but it might be difficult to swing the finances of it even for the first year. I am wondering why most have been so negative about joining the reserves? There are many benefits to it so I am curious why many have been discouraging about it. She is getting a bonus, Tuition assistance and $ for drill periods.
 
I don't think people are so negative about the reserves. They are concerned about getting locked into something that could, in fact, pull her out of school if she is called up. That can't happen if she is SMP. So people want her to discuss with the cadre at her future unit before she commits herself to something.

Is going to a cheaper/more affordable school with ROTC not an option?
 
We can look into that but it might be difficult to swing the finances of it even for the first year. I am wondering why most have been so negative about joining the reserves? There are many benefits to it so I am curious why many have been discouraging about it. She is getting a bonus, Tuition assistance and $ for drill periods.

I wish we could go have a cup of coffee I have gone down the soccer path with two kids and ROTC with one and I don't think the issue here is going reserves or not. I am going to put something out there and it is with respect not at all disrespect, I truly empathize with how hard this is as a Mom. It sounds like to me that the reason for a school that you cannot afford and the rush to reserves is to play soccer at school? I am guessing it is division III? If so that means she is not contractually committed. It also means she is not getting help to pay for school. I totally get her wanting to play college in soccer, I would just caution her committing herself to the reserves to do it. Like said above there is nothing wrong with the reserves, but joining it to be able to attend a school to play soccer would be a concern to me as a Mom. I also agree with the above, make sure to run anything she gets from the recruiting office by the school's ROO before signing anything, especially if she ever wants to go active. There are some scholarships that will permanently tie her to reserves or NG. I have two daughters playing soccer in college starting in the fall and a daughter who is in ROTC finishing her freshman year. - soon as I am able I will also private message you. Good luck and keep asking questions, it always helps to talk it through.
 
Here's another viewpoint from an athlete's dad--your mileage may vary. My daughter absolutely loved basketball in HS (she even enjoyed running lines--a real gym rat), but at 5'4" only received recruiting interest from DIII schools. She narrowed her list down to three schools, two of which were interested in her for basketball, but the other one was top on her list academically. That one also has AROTC on campus, while the others would have been a cross-town arrangement. She received a good scholarship/financial aid package (still only about 1/2 of the cost) and chose to pursue the top academic choice and AROTC. I had encouraged her to play basketball for as long as she could and thought she would miss it if she didn't play in college. She approached ROTC the same way she did basketball--worked her tail off, volunteered for special events, tried out and made the Ranger Challenge team, etc.--and as far as I can tell she has never regretted not playing basketball. Just my opinion, but I don't think she would have been able to balance basketball, ROTC, and academics. But ROTC has taken the place of competitive sports in her life.

I get the financial stress as my ROTC daughter has a twin also at a private school. Our ROTC daughter was depending on either a campus ROTC scholarship or considering joining the reserves. She has been told she will likely have a campus scholarship before her sophomore year starts. Like some of the advice above, if you can make it work for just one year, I would suggest waiting to join the reserves. One year will tell her a lot about the demands of soccer, ROTC, academics, etc, and I suspect the decision would be much clearer then.
 
I wish we could go have a cup of coffee I have gone down the soccer path with two kids and ROTC with one and I don't think the issue here is going reserves or not. I am going to put something out there and it is with respect not at all disrespect, I truly empathize with how hard this is as a Mom. It sounds like to me that the reason for a school that you cannot afford and the rush to reserves is to play soccer at school? I am guessing it is division III? If so that means she is not contractually committed. It also means she is not getting help to pay for school. I totally get her wanting to play college in soccer, I would just caution her committing herself to the reserves to do it. Like said above there is nothing wrong with the reserves, but joining it to be able to attend a school to play soccer would be a concern to me as a Mom. I also agree with the above, make sure to run anything she gets from the recruiting office by the school's ROO before signing anything, especially if she ever wants to go active. There are some scholarships that will permanently tie her to reserves or NG. I have two daughters playing soccer in college starting in the fall and a daughter who is in ROTC finishing her freshman year. - soon as I am able I will also private message you. Good luck and keep asking questions, it always helps to talk it through.

@Dckc88, I'd love to have a cup of coffee with you and get your two-cents about college soccer! My DD has been playing since she was 9 yo with the intention that she'll play in college. She's a sophomore in high school and now wonders if she'll be able to play soccer in college while still keeping up with the academics. My DH would rather her focus on academics, which I agree because it's a degree that will lead to a good career and not her soccer skills. However I don't want her to forego her chance to play soccer in college if later she looks back and regrets she missed that opportunity. How do your two DD balance the commitment to their team while making sure they are getting the most academically from their college? We have reservations that our DD is able to manage being a collegiate athlete and university student.

My DS, a senior in high school, is waiting to hear back regarding the NROTC scholarship. He is also faced w/a tough decision if he is not awarded the 4-yr. Does he go to the more expensive university w/ROTC as a college programmer in hopes of earning a scholarship his freshman year but risk not obtaining one and instead racking up debt. Or go to the local university, where he's earned a merit scholarship, but w/no Navy ROTC option. There are agreements w/cross town Army & Airforce ROTCs, only he was so set on the Navy. Though these decisions raise my anxiety level, I'm truly thankful God has blessed us w/great kids and they have these opportunities that aren't available to many others, it certainly wasn't an option for me.
 
@Dckc88, I'd love to have a cup of coffee with you and get your two-cents about college soccer! My DD has been playing since she was 9 yo with the intention that she'll play in college. She's a sophomore in high school and now wonders if she'll be able to play soccer in college while still keeping up with the academics. My DH would rather her focus on academics, which I agree because it's a degree that will lead to a good career and not her soccer skills. However I don't want her to forego her chance to play soccer in college if later she looks back and regrets she missed that opportunity. How do your two DD balance the commitment to their team while making sure they are getting the most academically from their college? We have reservations that our DD is able to manage being a collegiate athlete and university student.

My DS, a senior in high school, is waiting to hear back regarding the NROTC scholarship. He is also faced w/a tough decision if he is not awarded the 4-yr. Does he go to the more expensive university w/ROTC as a college programmer in hopes of earning a scholarship his freshman year but risk not obtaining one and instead racking up debt. Or go to the local university, where he's earned a merit scholarship, but w/no Navy ROTC option. There are agreements w/cross town Army & Airforce ROTCs, only he was so set on the Navy. Though these decisions raise my anxiety level, I'm truly thankful God has blessed us w/great kids and they have these opportunities that aren't available to many others, it certainly wasn't an option for me.
As far as your son is concerned @AROTC-dad has a son who did not get the Navy options he wanted, picked an affordable school for AROTC, received a 3.5 year campus based scholarship and has not looked back! I am sure he would be more than happy to share the story and give some insight for your son.

Sophomore soccer player! Recruiting is just starting to get into swing, I have so much to tell you and yes she can do it. For one of my daughter's soccer is paying for her education, her twin is getting some but her academic money is bigger, so academics are just as important if not more so. And as far as balancing it, especially if she is wanting/able to go D1, the academic resources are impressive! As soon as you have 10 posts we can private message and exchange contact info and I would be happy to help with mentoring the recruiting process. It is one of those things if she wants to do it, go full throttle now because she can always pull out later, but if she waits to start reaching out to schoools she might not have the option later!!!
 
As far as your son is concerned @AROTC-dad has a son who did not get the Navy options he wanted, picked an affordable school for AROTC, received a 3.5 year campus based scholarship and has not looked back! I am sure he would be more than happy to share the story and give some insight for your son.

Sophomore soccer player! Recruiting is just starting to get into swing, I have so much to tell you and yes she can do it. For one of my daughter's soccer is paying for her education, her twin is getting some but her academic money is bigger, so academics are just as important if not more so. And as far as balancing it, especially if she is wanting/able to go D1, the academic resources are impressive! As soon as you have 10 posts we can private message and exchange contact info and I would be happy to help with mentoring the recruiting process. It is one of those things if she wants to do it, go full throttle now because she can always pull out later, but if she waits to start reaching out to schoools she might not have the option later!!!

Thanks @Dckc88! I will take you up on that. I guess I'll have to do the old bumpity to get my 10 posts in.

My DD also does track, she's on a break from soccer and finding out she likes it much better. Her coach is not too happy since it's National Cup tournament. Last year she ran varsity track while playing club soccer and it gave her severe shin splints. This time we said one or the other so she chose track. Her conclusion is she likes to run with a purpose.
 
Thanks @Dckc88! I will take you up on that. I guess I'll have to do the old bumpity to get my 10 posts in.

My DD also does track, she's on a break from soccer and finding out she likes it much better. Her coach is not too happy since it's National Cup tournament. Last year she ran varsity track while playing club soccer and it gave her severe shin splints. This time we said one or the other so she chose track. Her conclusion is she likes to run with a purpose.
Keep posting we have a LOT to talk about! And good luck to your son, big decisions ahead.
 
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