"Short" Jokes

Day-Tripper

Day-Tripper

5-Year Member
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May 16, 2014
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"Short" being military slang for the increasingly declining number of days you have remaining in your military contract, or in the case of Vietnam War (where the term originated) the number of days left in-country before being rotated back to the USA ("DEROS").

A few I can recall....

1. I'm so short I can walk under a pregnant ant.
2. I'm so short I can play handball against the curb.
3. I'm so short I can sit on a nickel and dangle my feet.

Any others?

Unenforceable Disqualifier: No looking up "short" jokes online & posting. They must be memory based, however addled by the decades.
 
Um. Are we allowing a squiggle to the side, a short-free item?
FIIGMO. (I’m not translating.). I beg everyone’s pardon. The F does stand for Finarkle. At this time.

First one I ever learned, popped right into my head:
“I’m so short, my boogers are stuck in my toe jam.” Courtesy of my bosun’s mates.


Also applicable for days until detaching from current command, separation or retirement. Close relative of “__ days and a wake-up until I’m outta here.”
 
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FIGMO: At TECH SCHOOL after 52 weeks it was "Finally I Got My Orders". As an Instructor at the last weeks of training I read out assignments to my class before formal orders. Had one from Georgia who got Augusta and before I could continue he said he could visit home when off duty. I had to inform him that it was Augusta Maine and a long commute. His "F" changed.
 
FIGMO is definitely the more genteel version of the FIIGMO I posted. [emoji23]
 
Not military originated but the one I recall is I'm so short, I gotta jump up to get down...I was 4'11 3/4" my freshman year in hs. Thus, I heard quite a few short jokes.
 
Capt MJ said:
“__ days and a wake-up
Click to expand...

When my boys were much younger we were close to leaving on a trip to Disneyland, I looked over at them and said "5 days and a wake up til Disneyland" I just got blank stares from both of them until about 10 minutes later the older one yells..."Ha, I got it"
 
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