PATERSON, N.J. — Spc. Leydi Mendoza stood alone among the hugging families in Fort Dix when she and 300 other members of the New Jersey National Guard returned home from Iraq three months ago.
When she went to her ex-boyfriend's home afterward to see their 2-year-old daughter, he ended the visit before Mendoza was ready and subsequently allowed her only a few brief visits, saying the toddler needed time to adjust to having her mother around again.
Passaic County Family Court Judge George Rohde intervened Tuesday after Mendoza, 22, and her former boyfriend, Daniel F. Llares, also 22, were unable to reach a custody agreement through mediation. He granted Mendoza daily access to the child, Elizabeth. He also is allowing Mendoza to have her daughter at her home for weekend sleepovers until the legal dispute is resolved.
"It was hard," Mendoza, who lives in Lodi, NJ, said of the case. "I'm just glad the judge granted me these visitation days."
Mendoza is planning a mother-daughter dinner for Wednesday. They'll eat spaghetti — the child's favorite dish.
Master Sgt. Minnie Hiller-Cousins, a National Guard family assistance coordinator, said the case illustrates one of the fears of soldiers serving overseas — that they'll return to a world where their children, homes or jobs have been stripped away. She said Mendoza was not only alone when the troops were welcomed home, but also at a subsequent picnic and carnival for returning soldiers and their families.
Five of Mendoza's fellow soldiers joined the young mother in court Tuesday, wearing fatigues and combat boots.
"When a soldier comes home, the first thing they want to see is their family," Hiller-Cousins said. "People were kissing and hugging all around, and she was standing there by herself."
Hiller-Cousins said she set up family care plans for the 1,300 soldiers of the 250th Brigade Support Battalion before they deployed to Iraq last year.
The plan for Mendoza gave Llares, who lives with his parents, temporary custody while Mendoza was overseas. It stipulated they would resume joint-custody once she returned home, however, the military doesn't enforce plan.
Both sides are now seeking sole custody.
Kryn Westhoven, a spokesman for the New Jersey National Guard, said federal laws protect military service members from losing their homes and jobs while deployed, but contain no provision for child custody. A state law forbids the filing of civil litigation against deployed service members.
Mendoza, who worked with women detainees in Iraq, was part of the largest overseas deployment of the New Jersey National Guard since World War II. The Peruvian native has been in the military four years and teaches nutrition at the Rutgers Cooperative Extension.
Llares declined to speak with reporters waiting outside the courtroom, saying he had to go to work.
Attorney Amy Lefkowitz, who is representing Llares, said the case never was about punishing Mendoza for leaving her child behind when she was ordered overseas.
"It's not about taking away those (custody) privileges," Lefkowitz said. "It's about reinstating those privileges and rights in the a way that's in the best interests of the child."
Attorney Edwin Concepcion said he was astonished when Mendoza approached him with the case. Llares had taken out a temporary restraining order against Mendoza and was seeking a permanent restraining order, which would have worked against her in the looming custody battle. Lefkowitz said her client dismissed the temporary order voluntarily.
"What makes this case unusual is that Ms. Mendoza served her country and returned home to be greeted by no one and to be told by her ex-boyfriend she was no longer free to see her daughter as she wished," Concepcion said.
