Parents...

Devil Doc said:
@tgtl I have two grandsons. I've been to almost every soccer game, camp, and school play. It gets better with the grands. At the end of the fun i just turn them back over to the parents.

Being a helicopter parent isn't the same as being a lawnmower parent.
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OK I draw the line with soccer. Fall soccer in upstate New York sucks. Freezing rain to see a 1-0 game. ;)
 
A1Janitor said:
OK I draw the line with soccer. Fall soccer in upstate New York sucks. Freezing rain to see a 1-0 game. ;)
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I had never heard of soccer growing up in Alabama and never really watched a game, match whatever, until my grandson started. He's really good and enjoys having both parents and my wife and me in attendance. I'm with you on the weather though.
 
My daughter and I went to a sectional game to watch her old volleyball team play. I miss watching her play volleyball. The gym’s climate was very comfortable.
 
A1Janitor said:
OK I draw the line with soccer. Fall soccer in upstate New York sucks. Freezing rain to see a 1-0 game. ;)
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You said it. I don't think my daughter ever had a rugby tournament where it wasn't precipitating or freezing, or both. And it wasn't a one game and done; these were all-day affairs. Brrrr.
 
Wow do I dislike seeing people crucified for being different, or bullied. Regarding that post - again WOW - the judge and jury have spoken. Bailiff, take the condemned down the hall to be processed and begin serving their sentences:)

I admit sadly, I used to relate to this poster. I remember being a similar age and having the same certainty about how things worked and a similar belief that our/ my way was "the right way". I see this certainty in some of my children's friends now and their disdain. I pray for their enlightenment.

Quickly thereafter fyi, I learned not everything is black/ white and easily judged. I became more aware of the fact that what is right in my house, and for that matter for one child vs another in the same house, may not be right for all. I learned to not focus on convicting others because they were different than what I was so certain was perfect/ correct. I redirected energies to just focus on myself and do the best I can, and respect that their path may be ideal for them.

I trust anyone as elite and successful as the OP is interested in using 2 key skills - active listening and the ability to adapt. In preparing to be a leader of precious souls in the armed services soon - the most constructive unsolicited guidance I can share is that before you cast others down with the sodomites for taking an approach different than you feel is right as you did with this post, I hope moving forward you'll keep open to the idea that perhaps others who take an approach other than yours are "different" not "wrong" (and FYI, maybe for them your approach wouldn't work).

For those of you active in your children/ grandchildren's life, you keep being you - don't let an condemning comment put you on the defensive. Much like getting kids to like veggies, if the OP's conclusion is that parental absence is ideal and "love" and correct (PERIOD), then let's let him live in that wonderment and bliss. But you be you and be proud.


iprefer2024 said:
As a son who just received an appointment, I completely despise the helicopter parenting that I have witnessed on this website and in person. It is alright to be excited for your child's future, it is fine for you to counsel your child on important life decisions but if you find yourself attending every academy day, every single banquet, track meet, etc. you probably need to take a step back. I know that your children are your legacy and you want to celebrate their accomplishments and be there for them, but you have to realize that taking a step back and letting your child make their own decisions, good or bad, is the best way of parenting a teenager. Place a "governor" on their mistakes, expect them to f*** up, but don't let it get out of control. My parents set an expectation, my father lectures me when I am disrespectful, provides me advice when I ask for it, but he has never once asked me about registering for the ACT, or whether i have homework, or if i have finished my college apps. My parents have never attended a sporting event and they have never attended an academy day (they are frequent in my area). My parents will not even be with me at R-day (I don't even want them there, they might come for A-day or PPW). My dad didn't even seem to care about my appointment. He only cared about whether it was something I wanted to do. My parents have always believed in me, so they never worried about my future. They knew that I alone could define my path. No one else.
TO ALL CANDIDATES: do not let your parents apply to an academy or college for you, do yourself. Let your life be yours, not theirs.
TO ALL PARENTS: Place trust in your child, help them, but do not lead them on THEIR journey.

I am not upset about my parents' lack of involvement, because they have been with me, emotionally. I even praise their parenting style! People call it child rearing for a reason. It's because you are behind them and they are in front. PERIODT
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I so miss the days of travel softball. Our DD is 23, just bought a house, paid off her car and is paying for her own college while being a full time office manager, good thing we hovered over her, too!
Oddly, coldest tournament I remember was Palm Springs of all things. Wind was brutal coming off the mountains. I will never forget the years of pre treating and soaking white (what genius coach selected white uniforms???) uniforms in the bathtub. By the way, a bar of zoat, rubbed into the stains, let it sit. Then gain, baking soda and a can of coca cola overnight. Rinse, re zoat and wash as usual. Brilliant white!
 
Heatherg21 said:
I so miss the days of travel softball. Our DD is 23, just bought a house, paid off her car and is paying for her own college while being a full time office manager, good thing we hovered over her, too!
Oddly, coldest tournament I remember was Palm Springs of all things. Wind was brutal coming off the mountains. I will never forget the years of pre treating and soaking white (what genius coach selected white uniforms???) uniforms in the bathtub. By the way, a bar of zoat, rubbed into the stains, let it sit. Then gain, baking soda and a can of coca cola overnight. Rinse, re zoat and wash as usual. Brilliant white!
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Softball was a great sport to watch. Weather is nice or it is cancelled! My dog could come with me too.
 
The only thing I'll say on this matter is this: Until I had kids, I grew up thinking that I was going to raise my kids a certain way, part Drill-Sergeant, part College Professor, part Zen Master, and at least several other roles to raise this "perfect specimen of human child".

Yeah right, that all goes out the door the very second the Doctor or Nurse hand that little bundle over to you and you look in that face for the very first time. For years I told my childless friends to keep their opinions on child-rearing to themselves; until you have one (or many) you really don't know how you're gonna be!
 
I knew everything when I was a teenager, too. It was very empowering. I got a lot dumber as time went on, however. I am now about 75% as smart as I thought I was, back then.

When I was in High School, I was the best in the State (in something track-and-field related). My Dad never came to see a single track meet. Frankly. he was a crappy Dad for a lot of reasons, but I thought that not at least coming to see me win the State title as a Junior then again as a Senior (two track meets would kill you?) was pretty crappy. That was four decades ago, but I'm not bitter. ;)

By the way, your signature says "Appointed Cadet". You haven't been appointed to anything, yet.
 
The boomer comment was deleted by me. I want to be a little more respectful and uphold decorum. Everyone took that super personal. My original post was a hot take. And boy it was hot! I am not saying that being involved and supportive is a bad thing. I'm saying if your child is trying to make decisions for his future, make sure he/she makes that decision. My father served in the army and retired due to a service connected disability. He never once encouraged me to join the Army. If I asked about his experience, he would share his time.
Parents, be involved, but let your child make the decision to serve. Be honest with them. I am so grateful for my support structure and my upbringing. Being able to be self reliant is a trait that I'm so thankful for.
I know it's annoying for some kid to have an opinion on parenting, but it's my opinion, not fact. So don't take it personally.
Also whoever said I have not been appointed, I'm confused on what you know that I don't.
 
:popcorn1:

Gosh, this thread may not have the appeal of the bacon thread but at the current rate, it may become my #2 choice.

I am reminded of two age-old sayings that apply here:

"Different strokes for different folks" and "Opinions are like xxx, everyone has one"

Looking forward to whatever comes next...
 
Unless it's different at USMA, you aren't appointed until R-Day, after you sign the forms, raise your right hand, and take the oath. Until then all that's happened is that you have received and accepted an Offer of Appointment. In other words, you aren't a Cadet, yet.
 
I wish to support @iprefer2024 for having a differing opinion.

In essence I agree with some of what he said but not necessarily how he said it.

My own DS failed to meet the deadline for the AROTC national scholarship, because he was simply too busy with school, sports, his part time job, EC's, and oh yes, applying to six schools, including USNA, USMA and The Citadel plus the NROTC/MO scholarship. I reminded him to apply for AROTC and that was it, the rest was up to him.

It all came through in the end as he is now an Armor 2LT (his top choice of branch) and he did it his way.

I think the vast majority of us who are parents of both officer candidates and commissioned officers fall in the involved category and not "helicoptering." (Yes I attended every game that DS played in, but don't consider that being a "chopper").

@iprefer2024 has genuinely made us reflect as parents on how we did our jobs.

And that is not necessarily a bad thing.
 
I also went to volleyball matches at my DS' school. Not because we knew any of the girls on the team, but because my wife and I like watching volleyball and we didn't have a daughter. My DS used to go with us once in a while. Sure, he said he liked watching volleyball, but I think he had some other agenda.
 
My wife and I love going to our son's HS basketball games. Hate the Ref's, but the games are great!
 
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