The boomer comment was deleted by me. I want to be a little more respectful and uphold decorum. Everyone took that super personal. My original post was a hot take. And boy it was hot! I am not saying that being involved and supportive is a bad thing. I'm saying if your child is trying to make decisions for his future, make sure he/she makes that decision. My father served in the army and retired due to a service connected disability. He never once encouraged me to join the Army. If I asked about his experience, he would share his time.
Parents, be involved, but let your child make the decision to serve. Be honest with them. I am so grateful for my support structure and my upbringing. Being able to be self reliant is a trait that I'm so thankful for.
I know it's annoying for some kid to have an opinion on parenting, but it's my opinion, not fact. So don't take it personally.
Also whoever said I have not been appointed, I'm confused on what you know that I don't.
LOL - it was little hot, I am glad you have self awareness. I am happy that it sounds like you are satisfied with how your parents raised you, and that it has obviously worked for you and that you come across articulate and capable, and someone who has a lot of grit. Where I got confused was combining “helicopter parenting“ with attending sporting events? That actually gave me a belly laugh no lie. Not judging your parents or your opinions but that was funny, because it would just have never occurred to me not to go and cheer them on and their team, did not realize that made me a helicopter parent, but that is fine if it does, I will own that!
There Is a great book to read called Grit By Angela Duckworth, she developed something called the GRIT scale, the Army uses it to determine who will be successful at West Point and who will not, because they have known for decades that OML, or talent, is not a good predictor of long term success. Yes you have to be talented enough, but it is grit that tips the scale. She says that grit is the difference in predicting teenagers future success. She also writes a lot about how to parent grit, and talks about wise parenting. It seems to me that you have a lot of grit, and that is a testament to your parents wise parenting. My kids have a lot of grit, and that is a testament my husband and my wise parenting. Not a perfect parent, but a parent who raised successful independent adults who have grit. Her book is really clear that from the outside looking in, wise parenting can look like too demanding parenting or can look like too permissive parenting, and it can look like lots of other type of parenting too, what matters is how the child see it and learns from it. But all that matters is that kids are taught to stick with things, to rise to expectations, and to feel like it is okay to make mistakes, so that they have the courage to try. I am paraphrasing, but it is worth the read. It is not a parenting book, but a book how grit is a key factor in those who achieves a lot compared to those that don‘t.
My parenting would look like a helicopter parent to you, and that is okay, I had one shot at parenting and did the best I could, and I enjoyed the journey! I would do some things differently, both directions, with less guidance In some things and more guidance in others. Here is the amazing thing, at 21, 21, (twins) and 22; two juniors and one senior, they are all the same level of independent, which is awesome as a parent to see that. They all have very different dreams they are working on, none of them mine or their father’s. But all hard long roads, and they are doing the work. I love cheering them on even now, but what they choose has always been 100 percent up to them, and definitely up to them to do the work. My job was to assist when it felt appropriate to do so. I am really proud of them for following through with their dreams, even when it is hard, I am most proud of their grit, even more than their results. You obviously also have a lot of grit. I am confident, when you commission 4 years down the road, your parents will be equally as happy for you for following through with your dreams, and proud of the grit you exhibit. Nothing you said is wrong, honestly not criticizing you, just suggesting that you keep an open mind that there is more than one way to get to the same place, and that is the beauty of it. Outside looking in at what you see us doing on the forum is one small slice of a very big parenting pie.
Parent or not, Grit is a great read, lots of military examples, art examples, science examples, but really talks about what is grit, how to get grit, and even a little bit how to parent grit. And if it gives you some perspective on being a better leader to foster grit in some of the ungritty enslisted, you will be able to help parent them to be the best they can be also.
One thing I will add, one of my three was as independent as you as a senior, actually probably at 15, the other two took a little longer and needed more guidance. What was important was they all got there, and what was crucial is that I met them where they were at, not compared to each other or anyone else, and made sure they knew the expectation was to learn to do it on their own the next time.