Dad Joke thread (everybody welcome)

Capt MJ said:
Sanman, I’ve meant to ask you about your avatar. Story there?
I appreciate you’ve planted your flag as The Token Brit.
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Ahh the avatar pic. DS attended the Academy Introduction Mission at USCGA a couple of years ago and won Honor Cadet. The avatar is a pic of the challenge coin he was awarded by Admiral Kelly the Superintendent in USCGA.
 
sanman said:
Ahh the avatar pic. DS attended the Academy Introduction Mission at USCGA a couple of years ago and won Honor Cadet. The avatar is a pic of the challenge coin he was awarded by Admiral Kelly the Superintendent in USCGA.
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Excellent! Thank you for sharing that. Very nice.
 
EEBTTF said:
What do soldiers do when they find a scorpion in their tent?


In the Marines, they kill the scorpion.
In the Army, they call their CO and report the presence of the scorpion.
In the Air Force, he calls the front desk and asks why there’s a tent in his room.
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So what do we think the Navy would do?!
 
Capt MJ said:
Bet the next round of drinks on whether it will sting when it’s picked up.
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Alternately, smuggle it aboard ship as a pet, complete with nickname (Barnacle Bill, Dude, etc.), and the ship’s IDC corpsman notices an outbreak of strange painful bites on sailors.

At this point, I turn the story over to @Devil Doc …
 
At 29 Palms in 1996 and a Hum V came flying up to the BAS and a Marine got out holding his hand. What happened I said. Ha ha said the driver, he thought he could play with a scorpion.

I looked at his palm and he had a dozen sting holes and the hand was red and swelling. I got my driver and Hum V and put Mensa Marine in to take to the hospital.

Before we left I asked the driver who brought him to us, “Say there, what happened to the scorpion?”

We killed it.
 
What do Monsters eat? ans. Things.

What do Monsters drink? ans. Coke...because Things go better with Coke
 
Capt MJ said:
I don’t know why we didn’t have a Dad Joke thread before. Brilliant. All I need is a Cocktail from that thread, a piece of Bacon from that thread, and I can settle in to enjoy these groaners.
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Well thank you, I deserve all the credit for this outstanding...

No, wait, I can’t. @THParent threw me a bone and said I should start a dad joke thread.

This is his brain child. When it comes to these things I’m just totally brain dad.
 
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