personal statement advice

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ButterflyWaffles

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Aug 28, 2022
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Good afternoon/morning, I am stuck between 2 personal statement ideas for question 2 ( the character question). I have one essay that speaks about me overcoming my difficult family situation ( both my parents basically pulled an Anna& Hans from frozen) or not going on pointe (ballet) when I wanted to. Should I use one of these or make something new entirely?
 
Which story will do a better job of demonstrating your fit and fitness for service as a commissioned officer? Which one better illuminates your true character — the traits that will make you a successful leader of men and women in combat? That’s the one!
 
MidCakePa said:
Which story will do a better job of demonstrating your fit and fitness for service as a commissioned officer? Which one better illuminates your true character — the traits that will make you a successful leader of men and women in combat? That’s the one!
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What I wanted to say, except I was deep into refreshing myself on the whole “Frozen” storyline.
 
Would anyone be willing to look at my personal statement, I could PM you so it's not public. I think it's solid but I want an opinion outside of those who already know me and have that bias.
 
ButterflyWaffles said:
Would anyone be willing to look at my personal statement, I could PM you so it's not public. I think it's solid but I want an opinion outside of those who already know me and have that bias.
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I'll look at it. Can you include the prompt?
 
You would be better off to have someone who actually knows you review your statement. Random people on an internet forum don't know anything about you to offer advice about whether or not your statement left out important details about you or your background. One of your English teacher's might be a better choice.
 
ButterflyWaffles said:
I have one essay that speaks about me overcoming my difficult family situation ( both my parents basically pulled an Anna& Hans from frozen) or not going on pointe (ballet) when I wanted to.
Click to expand...
MidCakePa said:
Which story will do a better job of demonstrating your fit and fitness for service as a commissioned officer? Which one better illuminates your true character — the traits that will make you a successful leader of men and women in combat? That’s the one!
Click to expand...
I agree with MidCake, but also think about it from the perspective of Senior Military Officer/Professor at USNA who will be reading your Essay. Not to downplay "going on pointe" ( I have a daughter that did ballet years ago), I'm not sure how many could relate to that , while almost everyone can relate to a difficult family situation (not necessarily "Frozen" -- I missed that one !)
 
Old Navy BGO said:
I agree with MidCake, but also think about it from the perspective of Senior Military Officer/Professor at USNA who will be reading your Essay. Not to downplay "going on pointe" ( I have a daughter that did ballet years ago), I'm not sure how many could relate to that , while almost everyone can relate to a difficult family situation (not necessarily "Frozen" -- I missed that one !)
Click to expand...
On a side note that is interesting to hear about who will be reading the essays. So it's typically USNA Professor's or Senior Officer's? I hadn't thought about who would specifically comprise the admissions board for whatever reason. Logical but fascinating!
 
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