It's true I cut out in the middle of the '03 season, which I'm not proud of, but it was the only way out. While I did get kicked off of the train at Niagara Falls for waving a straight razor at the conductor, there's more to the story. The fact is I was sick in tired of the whole thing. The Senators were just awful, Washington, D.C. was sweltering, and my roommate's feet stank. Maybe I was hitting .333 and getting four thou, but I couldn't take no more. So, on the train to Detroit I sloshed some beer on me, slipped the conductor a fin, and worked up a fake row with him. He could of been an actor, he played it so well. Contrary to what the reporters said, I didn't fall off the bridge and drown. You do know, don't you, that back in '96 I broke up a no-hitter by Denton T. Young with two outs in the ninth. After that I used to call him Sigh Young.