A Parent's Guide to Year One at USAFA

All excellent advice.. the hardest part for me over the past five years (my daughter attended the "P") was finding a picture on WebGuy about the second day of Recognition weekend with my daughter on crutches and that blue reflective sash across the front of her... and not being able to call to find out what happened, and how she was... So yes, WebGuy can be a blessing, but at the same time, be prepared to see the unexpected.. lol
 
Ah, the blue reflective belt. DH (and I, of course) were always on the lookout for the blue belt on our DD during BCT. Luckily, never saw one on her. However, also be prepared to see pictures of your DD or DS in which they look exhausted, absolutely filthy (one of my favorites) or in other not so flattering "poses".

These days, those unfortunate enough to wear a blue reflective belt during BCT are called "broken basics"; in my day, we called them "walking wounded".
 
USAFADAD2017 said:
All excellent advice.. the hardest part for me over the past five years (my daughter attended the "P") was finding a picture on WebGuy about the second day of Recognition weekend with my daughter on crutches and that blue reflective sash across the front of her... and not being able to call to find out what happened, and how she was... So yes, WebGuy can be a blessing, but at the same time, be prepared to see the unexpected.. lol
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Experienced that moment too, but it was only after seeing the picture that we learned via letter what had happened. In the end all was well.
 
This should be an interesting year...all the fun of doolie year and all the fun of firstie year...all at once...yikes!
 
I still recall with a bit of a pang that son was in the hospital AND NO ONE NOTIFIED US, because he hadn't checked the box "Let someone know if I am hospitalized." Grrrr... I found out about 2 weeks later, and he was fine, but then I had to have retroactive worry. :(
 
Ditto on all the great advice given already. My comments are for the parents of the new Doolies. If you happen to be lucky enough to receive a letter the first week or two of BCT, be prepared to read words of despair, fear or even profound sadness from your cadet. I'm not saying every cadet feels the same, but I remember reading my DD first few letters and I had never in my life heard her so despondent. I was not prepared for that at all. It literally took my breath away to read her letter. I knew that it would be tough for her, but her words of anguish were very hard to read. That's when you have to stay steady and positive and support them by sending many words of encouragement. Fortunately, each subsequent letter gradually became more positive and she made it through and is now thriving there. Good luck to you all and your cadets.
 
If I may tell a little story on myself (mom here). . .

During BCT blackout I busied myself learning every little thing I could about how I could help my son. I scoured WebGuy, I read every FB Parents page post, and I became particularly obsessed with 1) sending him a robust first aid kit and 2) making sure he had the second monitor and appropriate cables for his issued laptop. I went to Target and bought every time of OTC medication that I thought he might possibly ever need in the exact size plastic bin that the parent on FB had recommended and shipped it after BCT - I mean this kit had everything from Motrin to Immodium to Vaseline for skin rashes. My son's response to me was, "what the heck do you think goes on here Mom?" Apparently, he and Dad skyped and had a good laugh about it. To this day, I still try to save face and say, "It's all sh*&@ and giggles until someone needs an Immodium, then you'll thank your Mom." The cables and the monitor? Oh yeah, he just went and bought those - because he is and was a high-functioning adult. We didn't have any tearful phone calls, he made great friends on day one. Every story is as different as our respective families. We will head out for graduation soon - I'll have to remember to ask my son if his first aid kit came in handy. . .

The moral of these stories: The parents are getting trained also.

It's okay to be a little nuts (there are our babies after all), but try and keep it in check. My favorite saying: be a fly-by parent instead of a helicopter parent.
 
Tex - it depends on your Cadet. Some were very good at writing and expressing thoughts. Others like mine usually require cross-examination to get bits of information from him. The fill in the blank was easy for him and didn't require thought about what to write. It was pretty funny to get some of the responses.

We sent daily letters to him (usually we took turns with one writing one day and the other writing the next). His brothers wrote a few letters and he got some from other family and friends. He told me he liked getting jokes in the letters and his group shared the better jokes from home.

My DS started getting nose bleeds daily and spent some time going to specialist during BCT. His worst day was when his squad was getting beat (worked out hard) for a mistake he made and he was sitting in a doctor's office for a nose bleed and being told it might keep him from being flight eligible. That was the day he thought about leaving. It was the only negative comment to come from him since I Day. He loves the Academy, but he will tell you that it is hard. As the year has progressed the amount of contact has diminished from him. I expected it. He calls when there is exciting news to him (snow in late April was exciting to him), but otherwise calls seem to be initiated by us.
 
tex2021 said:
These forms are nice but I wonder if they are helpful to our basic cadets or hinder their free expression/thoughts.
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They're in the military. Free thought/speech is at best optional; at worst not permitted :)

Seriously, though, the form letter concept is mostly to encourage some type of communication when they are too tired and exhausted to actually compose letters. They will write letters as they have time.
 
FalconsRock said:
Ditto on all the great advice given already. My comments are for the parents of the new Doolies. If you happen to be lucky enough to receive a letter the first week or two of BCT, be prepared to read words of despair, fear or even profound sadness from your cadet. I'm not saying every cadet feels the same, but I remember reading my DD first few letters and I had never in my life heard her so despondent. I was not prepared for that at all. It literally took my breath away to read her letter. I knew that it would be tough for her, but her words of anguish were very hard to read. That's when you have to stay steady and positive and support them by sending many words of encouragement. Fortunately, each subsequent letter gradually became more positive and she made it through and is now thriving there. Good luck to you all and your cadets.
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Very good advice from FalconsRock. I have to believe that all cadets bottom out at some time so don't be discouraged when that happens. After all, their entire world, one that they've known for the last 17 or 18 years, gets completely flipped upside down in a matter of one day. My DS wrote in his first letter that he was "EXTREMELY HOMESICK" (yes in all caps). This caught mom and dad off guard considering that USAFA was DS's goal since the age 11 and he is typically not one to convey his feelings. It was certainly a shock but as the days and weeks of BCT passed the tone of the letters continually improved. Fast forward and it's hard to believe that in two weeks the first year will be over.
 
Some of DDs letters were really hard to read. some were funny, especially the ones where she did not mean to be funny. Favorite quotes..."I love briefings with my whole heart!" LOL And when she complained about not knowing the time, her class wasn't allowed watches, she wrote about how there was a clock in each briefing room..."So, ha!" :) They find their way and so do us parents.
 
BCT was always meant to challenge even the best and most prepared, or so each thought. Each basic has some breaking point. It is how each overcomes and presses forward that will make them a better person and leader and help them grow. As parents, our job is to support and help them grow and find their way, without interfering. It is difficult. But, once your DD/DS makes it through BCT, the pride and sense of accomplishment is beyond anything they or you could have imagined. THAT is the change you will see in them on A- Day.
 
So much great advice! Thanks to everyone for taking the time to help all us first timers!! I'm addicted to this forum trying to find as much advice and tips as possible. Excited to join the USAFA family on this long journey yet nervous at the same time!
 
Dsmcse said:
So much great advice! Thanks to everyone for taking the time to help all us first timers!! I'm addicted to this forum trying to find as much advice and tips as possible. Excited to join the USAFA family on this long journey yet nervous at the same time!
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I'm a grandmother of a 2021 appointee and am addicted to this forum as well! I screenshot info and send it to my DGD!
 
This forum really helped us last year as we prepared for USAFA. I also copied and pasted some comments to emails to my DS. The information was useful to both him and us as parents.

I have found the Academy to really have two very different learning streams. The Cadets really do a nice job of interacting and communicating together. It is part of the independence that some parents struggle to let go. I learned in semester one that even though I pestered our DS to get airport bus reservations, he didn't and found his own way to and from the airport so now I leave it to him and simply send him airline reservation information. The Cadets grow up quickly and learn to be independent (if you allow them to make their own decisions).

The second learning stream is for parents and family. The curve seems tougher on those of us with little to no miliatary background or family history. However, there is plenty of support and you learn as you go. It has been a ton of fun for us. Continue to ask questions on this forum as you have them.
 
I've been on this forum since December of 2016 and have learned a TON of information. I've tried to "soak up" all the advice on what to do for my DS, from buying boots/don't buy boots, what color underwear, do/don't buy socks, computers, which days to visit, what to bring when you come, do/don't accompany to I day, and the list goes on and on.
I've made the decision to send D/S to Colorado Springs June 28th in nothing but his underwear and see what happens!!
 
You are sending him in underwear? I've seen quotes in the USNA forum stating that plebes can show up naked and they would be fine... ;)
 
My DS got his haircut before he left for I Day. He wore a plain white tshirt and grey shorts. He put everything on the list in his backpack. He was told to change into his boots if he brought them before boarding the bus. He did and put his tennis shoes in the back pack. He said he got little to no attention on the bus or at footprints. He didn't have to get the haircut which also saved him some time.

Now you can find the other end of the spectrum by youtubing I Day and looking for the news story on the Cadet who showed up in a Top Gun "Speak to me Goose" shirt, big hair and big sunglasses. He got to ride the bus on several occasions and spent most of the morning on the footprints being sent back and forth to the bus. He wanted attention and got plenty of it.
 
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