Is a laid-back/carefree personality not a good fit for USNA?

inception2022

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Feb 1, 2018
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15
Hello all,

I wasn't sure what my subject line should be, but that's what comes to mind right now. We are very proud of our son who just received an appointment at USNA for class of 2022, and we will be visiting (CVW) in April, and greatly looking forward to it!

My questions/thoughts are around his happy and cheerful personality, and also about how he's not super disciplined right now. He gets things done, he's a star athlete who competed and won at state and national level, academically good (not excessively strong), good ECAs, but he's just a bit too relaxed most of the time. We have to remind him to do his laundry or clean his room for example.

He's thrilled about USNA but he's not the kid who wanted it badly since he was 8 years old. Reading about a lot of prospective midshipmen on this forum makes me wonder if he'll be a misfit, or if he can keep up with the demands of being at USNA. We watched the videos on Youtube (making of an officer, Plebes 2020, 2021 etc.) and this has been nagging us. Would love to hear any perspective from others.
 
Just be supportive of him one way or the other.

Encourage him to do his own research and make the best decision in his own opinion. If he asks for advice, be truthful and express your concerns but don't "press" him any particular direction.

My DS was similar to yours, and I thought that he would NEED the discipline of an SA or SMC. Turns out he thrived at a "normal" college and put my concerns to rest (he commissions next year).

Trust your son, he will choose wisely.
 
My questions/thoughts are around his happy and cheerful personality, and also about how he's not super disciplined right now. He gets things done, he's a star athlete who competed and won at state and national level, academically good (not excessively strong), good ECAs, but he's just a bit too relaxed most of the time. We have to remind him to do his laundry or clean his room for example.

Well, he's not the only teen who needed to be "nagged" to do things. DS never seemed to apply himself in high school although he was a solid B student, while Mom and Dad knew he could do so much more. In college, while enrolled in NROTC, he became much more focused and excelled st NROTC and made the Dean's list nearly every semester. I'm confident being laid back and having a cheerful personality does not preclude your DS from succeeding at USNA. He'll master time management, which is the key.
 
I feel like being laid back is good because they will help mold him into someone disciplined, and when times get tough he may not stress as much as those strictly studious valedictorian types. Sometimes at academies, mids’ worst enemies are their own stresses.
 
He will be fine. If this is what he wants and it’s his decision, he will adapt just fine. Although on the surface many Mids can appear rigid and serious, behind the scenes many Mids are extremely funny and witty. You develop a strong sense of humor to get through USNA and even the fleet. A CVW will be great for him to see behind the curtain and ensure USNA is right for him.
 
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Disclaimer that I'm at the same point in the process as you - no former/current Mids - just sharing my thoughts as a parent of a P2B. My DS is likewise a pretty typical teen in many regards - not great about keeping his room clean, making the bed, etc., and I can't wait for the USNA to do its magic on him this Summer! ;) JK - like most parents, I'm just hoping he survives and thrives. Nobody knows your DS like you, but my take is that as long as my own DS understands the expectations of him (at least the ones he is reasonably able to understand without having gone through the experience) and is comfortable with that, I trust he's making the right choice (echo'ing AROTC-dad's sentiments). IIRC, in the same videos you mentioned, they talk about the fact that if they have made it to that point (I-Day/Plebe Summer), the USNA believes they have what it takes to succeed as long as they have the will (similar to c17hopeful's comment)... you mentioned your DS is "thrilled about USNA" - hopefully that speaks to his will. Best wishes and if your DS decides it's the right path for him, hope to see you in Annapolis!
 
There is no choice to make one's bed or not. They will make their beds and some days more than once when ordered to wreck their rack. Hope that he gets a NAPS Plebe as a roomie or someone from the fleet. They are a huge help for the uninitiated.

FWIW, DD passed all inspections but had a wreck of a room an hour after getting home at Thanksgiving.
 
My 1/C mid sounds a lot like yours. While becoming a naval officer was a goal of his, USNA was not his Plan A. I was concerned he didn't have the right temperament to succeed there. Outwardly, he has an extremely easy-going, laid-back way about him. Through observing him at his sport and other activities, I have come to understand he must also possess some interior intensity and self-discipline that drives him to push himself, but you'd never guess it if you met him. He's found his equilibrium. And no, he never makes his bed at home.
 
There are all types at USNA ....serious Type A's to the laid back let things roll types. He'll make some adjustments, there are some things that he will just have to take seriously, and at least during Plebe year there are plenty of people to keep the heat on. Looking back, the laid back guys probably had a lot more fun at USNA and many of them went on the have very successful Naval careers...so don't worry, DS will fit right in.
 
Hello all,

I wasn't sure what my subject line should be, but that's what comes to mind right now. We are very proud of our son who just received an appointment at USNA for class of 2022, and we will be visiting (CVW) in April, and greatly looking forward to it!

My questions/thoughts are around his happy and cheerful personality, and also about how he's not super disciplined right now. He gets things done, he's a star athlete who competed and won at state and national level, academically good (not excessively strong), good ECAs, but he's just a bit too relaxed most of the time. We have to remind him to do his laundry or clean his room for example.

He's thrilled about USNA but he's not the kid who wanted it badly since he was 8 years old. Reading about a lot of prospective midshipmen on this forum makes me wonder if he'll be a misfit, or if he can keep up with the demands of being at USNA. We watched the videos on Youtube (making of an officer, Plebes 2020, 2021 etc.) and this has been nagging us. Would love to hear any perspective from others.
Reading your post it sounded like you were describing my son! He is now a Plebe at USNA soon to be a 3/C! I had the same thoughts before I-day as you do. I don't think you will have to worry about your son he will figure out what he needs to do when he gets there, there are all types of kids and personalities at USNA.
 
Hello all,

I wasn't sure what my subject line should be, but that's what comes to mind right now. We are very proud of our son who just received an appointment at USNA for class of 2022, and we will be visiting (CVW) in April, and greatly looking forward to it!

My questions/thoughts are around his happy and cheerful personality, and also about how he's not super disciplined right now. He gets things done, he's a star athlete who competed and won at state and national level, academically good (not excessively strong), good ECAs, but he's just a bit too relaxed most of the time. We have to remind him to do his laundry or clean his room for example.

He's thrilled about USNA but he's not the kid who wanted it badly since he was 8 years old. Reading about a lot of prospective midshipmen on this forum makes me wonder if he'll be a misfit, or if he can keep up with the demands of being at USNA. We watched the videos on Youtube (making of an officer, Plebes 2020, 2021 etc.) and this has been nagging us. Would love to hear any perspective from others.

I had to check to make sure I didn't write that post! My son is the same on all points. I would not be terribly disappointed if he got the prep school. I am a little nervous to send him straight into the academy. We have lived in Europe for 7 years and I am worried about him acclimating back to the states when he returns for college. And he is very messy and unorganized. I have no doubt with the academies' repercussions for this behavior, he will learn quickly. I think I have been his enabler by not really disciplining him for it. But, I think he will do fine. The first year will be rough, but if he makes it through that it, gets easier from there.
 
Hello all,

I wasn't sure what my subject line should be, but that's what comes to mind right now. We are very proud of our son who just received an appointment at USNA for class of 2022, and we will be visiting (CVW) in April, and greatly looking forward to it!

My questions/thoughts are around his happy and cheerful personality, and also about how he's not super disciplined right now. He gets things done, he's a star athlete who competed and won at state and national level, academically good (not excessively strong), good ECAs, but he's just a bit too relaxed most of the time. We have to remind him to do his laundry or clean his room for example.

He's thrilled about USNA but he's not the kid who wanted it badly since he was 8 years old. Reading about a lot of prospective midshipmen on this forum makes me wonder if he'll be a misfit, or if he can keep up with the demands of being at USNA. We watched the videos on Youtube (making of an officer, Plebes 2020, 2021 etc.) and this has been nagging us. Would love to hear any perspective from others.

He will figure out what matters and put the effort in. His personality will buoy him through challenging times.

I have fond memories of one of our sponsor mids who was a laid-back Cali beach boy. He’d had an offer of a Div I volleyball scholarship out West at a powerhouse school, but something in him wanted USNA and a Navy officer commission. He rose to captain of USNA volleyball, a club sport at Navy. He spent spring and summer breaks on surfing trips to HI and OCONUS locations. His hair was always perilously close to needing a haircut. He was a natural as Company Operations Officer, known for epic company functions that were creative and meticulously planned and executed. He confided one semester he was on the Supe’s List, and he half-jokingly said he had to slow down or his rep would be tarnished. His goal was to be high enough in his class order of merit to have a good shot at ship class and homeport he wanted. He was a natural leader. He went on to be the top-ranked JO on his destroyer, in Pearl Harbor, of course. He was hand-picked by the CO to be Navigator, and was then ordered to duty as a flag (admiral) aide, a nominative position. He left the Navy after 8 years, got his MBA at Stanford using the GI Bill, and is a successful investment bank executive, in SoCal, of course. He and his groomsmen wore checkered Vans at his outdoor beach wedding.

Moral of the story: If this is truly your son’s path, he will do what is necessary to succeed, growing and maturing, but retaining his essential personality. That laid-back persona could get polished into calm confidence, an admirable trait on the bridge or in the cockpit in times of chaos.
 
To have a sense of humor may do him well. It always helps in the Military. DW loved the kid in my DD Company that was the Company Joker. He did fine and Commissioned. (see Kaydet Chump).
 
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Hello all,

I wasn't sure what my subject line should be, but that's what comes to mind right now. We are very proud of our son who just received an appointment at USNA for class of 2022, and we will be visiting (CVW) in April, and greatly looking forward to it!

My questions/thoughts are around his happy and cheerful personality, and also about how he's not super disciplined right now. He gets things done, he's a star athlete who competed and won at state and national level, academically good (not excessively strong), good ECAs, but he's just a bit too relaxed most of the time. We have to remind him to do his laundry or clean his room for example.

He's thrilled about USNA but he's not the kid who wanted it badly since he was 8 years old. Reading about a lot of prospective midshipmen on this forum makes me wonder if he'll be a misfit, or if he can keep up with the demands of being at USNA. We watched the videos on Youtube (making of an officer, Plebes 2020, 2021 etc.) and this has been nagging us. Would love to hear any perspective from others.

Private message me. I tried messaging you, but was not able to.
 
...or if he can keep up with the demands of being at USNA.
What demands???

From the moment your kid sets foot at ClubMed Annapolis, he'll be issued a hand-cart (aka dolly) to carry around his heavy load...
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Don't worry...you'll have a chance to take pics of your Squid strolling around the area with his cute little dolly...
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During their Oath Ceremony, each Squid gets their own seat to enjoy the spectacle....Other academies march and stand throughout their ceremony...
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They spend their summers learning to maneuver their dinghies in various military drills...I hear they attempt to recreate the Battle of Trafalgar.
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To top off their first year, they get together and climb a greased monument to put a hat on top of it...sooo much fun.
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What a life...
 

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The USNA's mission is to create officers in the Navy and Marine Corps. One of the byproducts happens to be a bachelor's degree, but it's not "college" in the normal sense. Going from civilian to being in the military will be quite a jolt for some Plebes-to-be on June 28th - but if it's what they want to do - it will be a whole lot more than just "college".
 
The USNA's mission is to create officers in the Navy and Marine Corps. One of the byproducts happens to be a bachelor's degree, but it's not "college" in the normal sense. Going from civilian to being in the military will be quite a jolt for some Plebes-to-be on June 28th - but if it's what they want to do - it will be a whole lot more than just "college".

Just remember.... you get the degree before the Commission...
 
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