Bipolar roommate?

I also second @pleber16 's post about just checking in on them and clearing it up before it gets too out of hand. It is a big assumption from a few pieces of evidence
 
MidwestDad said:
A little hard to believe she has access to her Rx bipolar meds [as a plebe] with an undeclared condition but then again worse things have been hidden in SA barracks . . .
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I know it’s nuts. I don’t know how something like that can slip through the cracks. Must be her parents mailing it to her is all I can figure
 
I’m am not an expert in any way. That being said.... my take is that you are bound by the honor code. You discovered her lie about her medical history, therefore you are honor bound to not tolerate that lie.
 
Jess7655 said:
I’m am not an expert in any way. That being said.... my take is that you are bound by the honor code. You discovered her lie about her medical history, therefore you are honor bound to not tolerate that lie.
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She doesn’t have proof her room mate lied. Her room mate could technically be getting care for bi-polar disorder or something else by Navy medicine. If in fact it is bipolar disorder, I would expect she will eventually be processed out, but that takes time. If her room mate is getting meds from home then she probably lied on DoDMERB (making an assumption here she wouldn’t be qualified if she reported bipolar on her her questionnaire) and there are issues to that. Her room mate shouldn’t be getting drugs from home and not reporting an issue like this. It has implications to clearances and a lot of other items. If she asks her room mate about the comment on the phone and denies it, she is then lying directly to her. Reporting honor offenses is not as cut and dry nor as easy as many think. It is stressful and it’s challenging to ‘bilge’ a classmate. She needs to have a chat with her and talk with a Chaplain.
 
gonavysophia said:
Hey everyone,
I’m a USNA midshipman class of ‘22 and...
my roommate lately has been acting very strangely. First off she’s failing all but 3 classes. Seconds, she never does her part in the room, and stays up all hours of the night doing weird things like folding clothes and doing her nails and hair among other things. She keeps the light on, talks loud on the phone late at night when she sees I’m trying to sleep, never makes her bed or gets up. She waits for me to tap her awake every morning, even when she hears reveille plays and she gets on her phone and goes back to sleep. She often broadcasts weird things to me like peeing in bags and throwing it out the window to avoid greeting. She is oblivious to her rude and belligerent behavior even when I tell her what it is.
Well,
I heard her talking on the phone with her sister about her bipolar meds and how she’s doing good in her chemistry class now. This explains a lot.
Is it possible that I can report her to mental health anonymously or even up the chain of command? I’m in part annoyed at the behavior but mostly worried about her safety and the safety of others quite frankly. I know CDI’s have been launched at midshipmen before but I’ve never understood who initiates it or how that works. Could anyone give me some insight into this situation?
Thanks so much.
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As you approach the situation please remember your roommate is a person with feelings. I have a parent who is bipolar and the illness is an awful journey to share with a loved one; and it must be especially difficult with a roommate who is a stranger. I can assure you if she has a mental illness her actions are not reflective of the true person she is. The actions are a reflection of her illness and she would give anything to be "normal". I can only imagine how difficult your living arrangement must be but please try to show compassion and decorum as you deal with the issue. As hard as it is for you what she is going through must be unbearable and she may truly be at her breaking point. I wish you both peace. Good luck and take care.
 
NavyHoops said:
She doesn’t have proof her room mate lied. Her room mate could technically be getting care for bi-polar disorder or something else by Navy medicine. If in fact it is bipolar disorder, I would expect she will eventually be processed out, but that takes time. If her room mate is getting meds from home then she probably lied on DoDMERB (making an assumption here she wouldn’t be qualified if she reported bipolar on her her questionnaire) and there are issues to that. Her room mate shouldn’t be getting drugs from home and not reporting an issue like this. It has implications to clearances and a lot of other items. If she asks her room mate about the comment on the phone and denies it, she is then lying directly to her. Reporting honor offenses is not as cut and dry nor as easy as many think. It is stressful and it’s challenging to ‘bilge’ a classmate. She needs to have a chat with her and talk with a Chaplain.
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Additionally, “nor tolerate those who do” is not part of USNA’s honor concept.
 
This would be me. I would be very careful how you treat this matter. I would try to first resolve any issues by reaching out to your roommate as a friend and roommate first before escalating the matter. Also speak to your chaplain in parallel and let him know you are working things out with your roommate but it is not easy as this situation is new to you. Unless there is an illegal or unethical issue I believe you should make the best effort first as a fellow MIDN and roommate to work it out. Avoid confrontation but be sincere to your classmate. Let her know certain things are ok but certain things bother you. How you conduct yourself in this sensitive matter is very important. So before sounding the Alarm do your best first. Showing compassion to someone who maybe in trouble or under pressure goes a long way for you as well. You are going to grow up from this experience in ways that will shape your leadership and compassion. Not getting along with a roommate is common. And it takes time to get to know one and adjust to each other. I believe all of us had it one way or the other during college. Unless you find yourself in danger I would try to help my roommate in ways you are able to. Maybe a good place to talk about is outside your room in a more public place outdoor in the Yard. She is obviously fragile and no need to put her in a corner to ignite more confrontation. Try to work it out first with her.
 
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So very true and sometimes, we're trying so hard to make it through that we focus right through some pretty terrible stuff without seeing it at the time. Case in point, post plebe summer,m I was placed into a three man room with a classmate who was a distance swimmer who spent a huge amount of time away from the room and another guy (Roommate B) who'd had a year of College NROTC under his belt. Both the latter and I were not regarded as good plebes and got run pretty hard. I remember not liking or having much of anything to do with Roommate B but not a lot of specific reasoning. As it happened, our room was on a different deck than most of our company and we were actually next to a room of plebes from the another company and they became and remain good friends to this day. I served with one of them in the fleet and over the years, he'd often laugh at how many times he'd heard me yelling "(Roommate B) Put me Down!" repeatedly and that it seemed to be pretty often. After hearing this over the years and having no memory of it, I mentioned it to a counselor who I was seeing due to a nasty divorce. She worked with me on it and in the end, it turned out that he used to throw me around the room and generally beat the snot out of me, probably to work out his stress. I should add, that I was 5'6"/150 and he was 6'4 and about 250 ellbees. Nobody knew or if they did, they've never said anything except for the guys who thought that we were horseplaying. I can tell you that most assuredly, there was no horseplay between the two of us. I think that this was totally him working out his frustrations of plebe year on me. After plebe year, we found other roommates and I don't think we ever exchanged a single word with each other.

It's tough to even write about it. I've told a few friends from my company and even the third roommate from then had no idea that this was going on but when he sat with the guys from the other company who told of hearing me yell day after day, he was convinced.

PS: He died less that 20 yrs after we graduated - reportedly a heart attack.[/QUOTE]



I have been thinking about this post for since I read it RetSWO. I know it sits way back in on a list of shipt sticks presented, and challanges overcome. That said, it must have sucked dealing with the load of stuff that a plebe takes on, and then finding that the one place on base where you should be able to relax (your room) is shared with a giant clown who made a "punching bag" (my term not yours) out of his roommate. The guy was supposed to be a shipmate, somebody you could lean on ----- not another challenge you had to deal with.

I get that would be hard to write about. I am sorry you had to go through that; not in a weepy nurturing mommy kinda way. Sorry like, "naw that shouldn't happen in a just and ordered universe".

Just---saying
 
It's a difficult situation. Based on what the OP said, no one knows if the roommate is actually bipolar or actually taking meds. She could simply be acting out -- trying to get attention or even trying to figure out how to get out of USNA "gracefully." There are more than a few mids who want out of USNA but can't face telling their friends and family that they "quit" or "couldn't do it." I've seen mids intentionally fail classes and even commit honor offenses on the weird belief that getting "kicked out" is more palatable than leaving voluntarily.

If the roommate is failing 3 classes, it will definitely come to the attention of the chain of command -- probably already has. There are tried and true ways that the chain of command handles these types of issues -- trust me, they are not ignored.

A separate (but related) issue is the effect this conduct (whether real or contrived) is having on the OP. Nearly everyone at USNA deals with roommate "issues" at some point. However, when the issues escalate to the point that appears to have occurred with the OP, some intervention may be required. I fully agree that a Chaplain is a good place to start -- they have a great sense of things.

I would simply caution everyone here not to jump to any conclusions based on a single post.
 
Great advice from many on here! Gonavysophia, if possible, please let us know how this all rolls out, and again Good Luck.
 
The OP might be reluctant to divulge any further follow-ups lest she and her roommate become identifiable, based on the circumstances.
 
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