AFROTC & Depression

maxib7

Member
Joined
Mar 5, 2015
Messages
44
Hello, I'm an AS300 and have been contracted on scholarship for 3 years. I have never seen a therapist or counselor because I have always believed I can solve my own emotional problems with enough will power. I have had minor episodes of sadness and lack of motivation in the past for a couple months at a time.

However, this is worse than anything I've experienced in the past. Enough where if I were to see a therapist, I know for a fact they'd diagnose me with severe depression. I'm not quite sure what it is though. It feels like I'm a little crazy because it seems like I have two personalities. There is normal me and depressed me. Normal me is a normal functioning adult and feels just fine, but once a day or every other day, I break down into a depressed episode. I can't even explain why I'm sad. I just cry uncontrolabley and have no will to do anything or even want to live. But like I said, that's only sometime. I feel completely normal right now and can't even relate to that person.

I normally wouldn't consider telling anyone but it's getting more frequent and severe. It's unbearable when I'm in that state and I even has suicidal thoughts quite often, BUT I have complete control over my body and actions and would never harm myself.

My question is: if I were to tell someone and be diagnosed with depression or whatever, would I be DQ'd? I firmly believe I have the will power to push through it. I would never kill myself. The worst that would happen is I just hate my life for a little bit until I get over it and regain my mental strength.
 
There is no shame to recognizing this kind of issue. I applaud you for taking the first steps to get help. While I cannot comment specifically on your question, I would like to offer some advice: please, seek help. Your health is far more important than military service. The fact that this seems to to be worsening is a red flag to me.

However, I am not a doctor. My opinion is worth as much as you paid for it.
 
1. Seek help from your university's mental health counselors. This is a confidential and professional service that is available to you at no charge. It is designed for precisely the situation you're experiencing.

2. Maintain your relationships. Tell someone whom you trust what you're experiencing. Talk.

3. Maintain a good routine involving daily exercise, 8+ hours of sleep, getting your assignments done on time.

4. If you drink or use any other substances, STOP.

Do the above and you'll get back on an even keel within a few months. What you're going through happens to many, perhaps most, people at one point or another in their lives. Just stay optimistic and focused on the above, and you'll get through this.

As Churchill said: "If you find yourself going through hell, KEEP GOING."

Good luck and let us know how you're doing. We care about you and know you'll come out OK.

Best,
T
 
If you are asking this question, I can assume AF Rotc and the Air Force is important to you. Having said that, your health should be your #1 priority and ignoring it because of justifable fears doesnt do you or the Air Force any favors. Please seek help as soon as you can. I doubt a professional will go and tell AF Rotc anything. However, that may be your responsbility to do so. Before worrying about that, I would seek help and see what is happening with you. Maybe it isnt as bad as you think, maybe its worse, but without proper medical attention you have no idea what is going on
 
I've known cadets in a similar situation, who had been fighting severe anxiety and depression for years, who finally decided to seek treatment. Unfortunately for them, this resulted in a DoDMERB DQ and disenrollment from the program. Thankfully, none of them had to pay back their scholarships. However, each and every one of them is glad they ultimately made that difficult choice, and are now living a much happier, fulfilled lives. I agree that the first step would be to seek out your university's confidential counselors but realize they are only equipped to handle things to a certain level.

Bottom line, a military career isn't worth it if every day is a struggle just to get out of bed. It might be a difficult choice, but it might be the right one if you do truly have severe depression. Being deployed, having crappy leadership, stressful training like UPT, and the everyday inconveniences of military life can take their toll on someone's mental health even if they don't have any mental health concerns. Everyone is different, and where some individuals with depression can manage it themselves, others require medication simply to function in daily life. It's not a matter of strength or weakness, but actual, physical brain chemistry that differs in each case.

Again, I realize this is an extremely difficult choice to make, but realize that seeking outside treatment will most likely result in a DQ, but your quality of life matters far more than your career. If you can manage it by yourself that shows great strength, but it also takes great strength to realize it is severe to the point you can't handle it without help.
 
There is some solid advice that has been posted above. I would suggest the same- please contact the school counselor if you can. It is meant to be confidential. As aside, you are in a stressful period of your life. It is not a sign of weakness to reach out for help- rather that is a sign of strength. Follow through with them, But, I would also suggest you follow through with a general practitioner simply to run a few blood tests. Sometimes there may be a physical medical component that is contributing to this. Also, if you have been using any body building or muscle building supplements or energy drinks, these contribute terribly to depression, and altered mental state. There is recent medical evidence setting forth that many military using some of the super energy drinks are experiencing depression and assorted states of mental health impairment. Please re-evalute your diet. And, lastly, as I am no doctor, this is just my two cents, there is some benefit into vitamin and mineral supplements such as super omega 3 and L-methyl folate. But again, you may wish to get some blood work done, before using any vitamins. Best of luck to you.
 
All the above is very good advice! You may be dealing with situational issues, or more in depth. It could be an anxiety, or a depressive episode. No need to answer but also a family history of either is something to consider. I would highly suggest starting with confidential counseling offered at all colleges. They take mental health very seriously these days and are tuned into the special circumstances surrounding young adult student life. And are confidential. Then go from there.

I will add to remember you can seek 2nd opinions. Which I would also recommended should a certain course of action be recommended you either don’t agree with, or puts your plans for you future in question. Sometimes medical professionals are more aggressive or conservative in their treatments. Young adults sometimes don’t realize they can (sometimes SHOULD) get a 2nd opinion.

Lastly, clergy can also be a starting point, especially campus based services. They are also likely to be able to counsel and would be completely confidential....at least a starting point!

We are rooting for you!! Take advantage of the abundant, confidential services on campus!
 
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