+1 to @FMHS-79. Maybe it would help to take my DD’s approach. Her first choice was USNA. When she received her first acceptance, she assumed she’d be attending a certain Midwest Catholic college. When she was accepted to a higher-choice school, she assumed she’d be attending a certain Southern flagship state university. When she was accepted to an even higher-choice school, she assumed she’d be attending a certain service academy along a river in upstate New York. Finally, she got offer of appointment to USNA and that settled it once and for all. But each step along the way, she was in a very good place of her choosing.
The point being: Have a great Plan B, C, D, etc., in place where you know you could be happy. Then, rather than pining endlessly for what may or may not come, take satisfaction in what you already have. It puts you in a positive state of mind, while knowing things might get even better.
I agree with that to a point as long as the decision hasn't been made. Holding an appointment for a SA where you have decided not to attend has different effect at different SAs. USNA it may not have any bearing on other appointments, but USMA, up to a date no one knows, allows the RCs to "recycle" a declined appointment within their AO without it coming from the NWL. So in theory a CC that has decided not to attend USMA but hasn't declined their appointment could be preventing someone from their state from getting an appointment. Bottom line, if the decision has been made, decline. If the decision is still pending, hold.Yes, there is no way for SAs to know who has accepted multiple offers of appointment. At the point where a candidate makes up his or her mind, they can always contact the SA and retract their acceptance. The offer is theirs until the deadline for acceptance. I personally would sit on the one in hand until I had any others in hand, and then do my accept/decline(s) all at once, but that’s just me.