Having the tough conversation.....

TeddyPlus4

TeddyPlus4

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Dec 19, 2018
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I'm an Executive Officer for a Command that processes Reservists to all parts of the world. I often have to make the decision on whether they go "down range" or not.

There are many benefits to being a reservist: GI Bill, Medical, Pay, etc. Unfortunately, I have experienced a rash of people who came in to the military for the benefits and when called upon to deploy, they list a litany of reasons why they can't. Such is the reason for this post.

The truth about the military is that we are getting closer and closer to war with several countries that will remain un-named. If your DS/DD is joining the military today, there is a high probability that they are choosing a career field where they will go to war within the next 20 years. This is a very tough conversation to have with the person that you gave birth to.

Please tell your DS/DD: This is not about a "free college plan", the friendships that you will form, the beautiful ski slopes of Colorado, or the list of activities at the AFA. At the end of the day, you are being trained to lead others in a time of war. You may die doing it and you may give orders that cause someone else to give up their life. Close your eyes and reflect on that for a second. It should scare you and it should be a humbling burden that people are sending their son/daughter to serve under your leadership. If it doesn't, you are entering the wrong career field.

This is not about college, it's about deploying to support the objectives of your nation (even when you don't agree with the leader or the objective). If they can't accept that, please do every military member and the nation a favor and decline admission.
 
Great post XO. I’ve wanted to say similar things here but I’m just an old Senior Chief whose son graduated from a mid-ranked state school. He turned out pretty good by the way. The real work starts at commissioning, regardless of pedigree, reserve status, or otherwise.
 
Good post.

As a very proud father ... I will tell you what scares me. And I haven’t discussed this with my son at all.

My son is going to the Naval Academy.

And the problems we see going on with the “deep state” currently scares me. How does the Russian government feel about the Russian investigation?

How does China feel about potential economic problems?

Iran?

Korea?

Venezuela?

Libya?

Syria?

Afghanistan?

Yemen?

Mexico?

May God bless our special kids.
 
@TeddyPlus4, very well said. Indeed there are candidates who see the glamor, romance, prestige and, yes, tuition-free aspect of SAs. And there are parents too who get caught up in all that. They hopefully come to their senses and see the full picture.

In the end, our midshipmen and cadets are preparing for a war that we all hope doesn’t happen, but if it does, all hope we win quickly, fully and decisively. It’s an enormous burden, and I can’t say enough about those who willingly — and knowingly — take on this duty. God bless them all.
 
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I watched a documentary online recently which followed some USAFA cadets through their first year. It amazed me that any of them could enter the academy without fully grasping the military aspect of it.
 
To highlight what OP said I highly recommend reading or suggesting your DS/DD read the summary of the National Defense Strategy put out by former secretary Mattis last year as it gives a good idea of where the DoD leadership sees the DoD going.
 
To be quite honest, if these kids applying to the SA are not aware that they are being trained for war, someone needs to review their application to find out how they passed history. The purpose of the Military Academies is to train the next generation of leaders for War.

The United States has been at War in the life time of the incoming classes, and the life times of their parents, grandparents, great grandparents and so on. To think that the SA exist for anything other than training our military for war is just ignorance. They certainly are not a fashion show with lots of pretty uniforms, a free education and a guaranteed job for 6 or years after graduation.

If my memory serves me correctly, I believe the United States has been at War for greater than 90% of it's 242 years.
 
It is weird to think that this year will be the beginning of new candidates entering the military who have not seen peace throughout their entire lives.

I was born in March before 9/11, but many of the candidates this upcoming cycle would have been born after 9/11 meaning they have never witnessed peace in America.
 
This is a topic that my DD and I have discussed on multiple occasions. She has reflected long and hard on the implicit implications of serving in the military. It is not a path to choose lightly, but it is also not a responsibility that active military bear alone. Every citizen shares responsibility for the price of military necessity. Our service members are the arrow's point, not the entire bow, arrow, and bowman.
 
Magna Venari said:
To be quite honest, if these kids applying to the SA are not aware that they are being trained for war, someone needs to review their application to find out how they passed history. The purpose of the Military Academies is to train the next generation of leaders for War.

The United States has been at War in the life time of the incoming classes, and the life times of their parents, grandparents, great grandparents and so on. To think that the SA exist for anything other than training our military for war is just ignorance. They certainly are not a fashion show with lots of pretty uniforms, a free education and a guaranteed job for 6 or years after graduation.

If my memory serves me correctly, I believe the United States has been at War for greater than 90% of it's 242 years.
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Well, you’d be surprised to know that there are people IN the military that are not aware of this
 
Magna Venari said:
To be quite honest, if these kids applying to the SA are not aware that they are being trained for war, someone needs to review their application to find out how they passed history. The purpose of the Military Academies is to train the next generation of leaders for War.

The United States has been at War in the life time of the incoming classes, and the life times of their parents, grandparents, great grandparents and so on. To think that the SA exist for anything other than training our military for war is just ignorance. They certainly are not a fashion show with lots of pretty uniforms, a free education and a guaranteed job for 6 or years after graduation.

If my memory serves me correctly, I believe the United States has been at War for greater than 90% of it's 242 years.
Click to expand...
There are a large amount of people who join the military just for the education benefits (GI bill and tuition assistance) and get upset when they get told they are deploying. When I went through BMT our MTI had us introduce ourselves to the flight in the day room and the majority said their reason for joining was some sort of benefit educational or otherwise. With the insane price of college tuition this is going to become more and more prevalent throughout the service. Not saying it's bad just telling it like it is.
 
TeddyPlus4 said:
Magna Venari said:
To be quite honest, if these kids applying to the SA are not aware that they are being trained for war, someone needs to review their application to find out how they passed history. The purpose of the Military Academies is to train the next generation of leaders for War.

The United States has been at War in the life time of the incoming classes, and the life times of their parents, grandparents, great grandparents and so on. To think that the SA exist for anything other than training our military for war is just ignorance. They certainly are not a fashion show with lots of pretty uniforms, a free education and a guaranteed job for 6 or years after graduation.

If my memory serves me correctly, I believe the United States has been at War for greater than 90% of it's 242 years.
Click to expand...

Well, you’d be surprised to know that there are people IN the military that are not aware of this
Click to expand...

Wow!! I am floored at that. As a military wife, I usually find that wives don't want husbands deployed, so they look for exceptions, register in special needs, etc. I am speechless, that is rare.
 
4BravoX1 said:
Magna Venari said:
To be quite honest, if these kids applying to the SA are not aware that they are being trained for war, someone needs to review their application to find out how they passed history. The purpose of the Military Academies is to train the next generation of leaders for War.

The United States has been at War in the life time of the incoming classes, and the life times of their parents, grandparents, great grandparents and so on. To think that the SA exist for anything other than training our military for war is just ignorance. They certainly are not a fashion show with lots of pretty uniforms, a free education and a guaranteed job for 6 or years after graduation.

If my memory serves me correctly, I believe the United States has been at War for greater than 90% of it's 242 years.
Click to expand...
There are a large amount of people who join the military just for the education benefits (GI bill and tuition assistance) and get upset when they get told they are deploying. When I went through BMT our MTI had us introduce ourselves to the flight in the day room and the majority said their reason for joining was some sort of benefit educational or otherwise. With the insane price of college tuition this is going to become more and more prevalent throughout the service. Not saying it's bad just telling it like it is.
Click to expand...

I understand joining for education benefits, but that comes with doing the job they signed up for, and that means deployment.
 
4BravoX1 said:
Magna Venari said:
To be quite honest, if these kids applying to the SA are not aware that they are being trained for war, someone needs to review their application to find out how they passed history. The purpose of the Military Academies is to train the next generation of leaders for War.

The United States has been at War in the life time of the incoming classes, and the life times of their parents, grandparents, great grandparents and so on. To think that the SA exist for anything other than training our military for war is just ignorance. They certainly are not a fashion show with lots of pretty uniforms, a free education and a guaranteed job for 6 or years after graduation.

If my memory serves me correctly, I believe the United States has been at War for greater than 90% of it's 242 years.
Click to expand...
There are a large amount of people who join the military just for the education benefits (GI bill and tuition assistance) and get upset when they get told they are deploying. When I went through BMT our MTI had us introduce ourselves to the flight in the day room and the majority said their reason for joining was some sort of benefit educational or otherwise. With the insane price of college tuition this is going to become more and more prevalent throughout the service. Not saying it's bad just telling it like it is.
Click to expand...

I agree with the OPs post, I think we all should consider the entire aspects and sacrifices that involve joining the military. However, there is nothing wrong with joining the military for the benefits. Of course, serving the country is the biggest thing we should take seriously but it's ok if you join for the benefits too. I too often in my life and sometimes in this website see that people are getting berated by others because they join for benefits. Pretty sure people in the past joined for the benefits too, it is an incentive to have your college payed for and receive care and housing. If these benefits did not exist, very few would join. Most of the people in my former unit in ROTC always cried or screamed America but whenever their stipend didn't come in time, or they didn't receive one of their benefits in time, they would run up to the Hr person and literally scream "Where is my money at". It isn't easy these days to find a true patriot, and true patriots are usually revealed when there is an actual tragedy or crisis, not in social media where people are wearing American Flag speedos or tank tops.

I will say this again, my former Master Sergeant at my old ROTC unit talked to the whole entire battalion and asked who in here is in it for the benefits, of course no one raised their hands and even one cadet said he is in it so he could shoot bad guys. The Master Sergeant cried Bull****, he said everyone is in it for the benefits, maybe not solely but in one way that is an incentive. If this scholarship didn't exist, none of you guys would be here. That being said, you can't scold a poor individual who wants to join the military so he can get out of his/her poor neighborhood, or because they couldn't pay for college but needed the military to pay for it. This individual may not have serving his country on top of their priorities list but least they are making themselves grow up.
 
Anguswarrior112 said:
I agree with the OPs post, I think we all should consider the entire aspects and sacrifices that involve joining the military. However, there is nothing wrong with joining the military for the benefits. Of course, serving the country is the biggest thing we should take seriously but it's ok if you join for the benefits too. I too often in my life and sometimes in this website see that people are getting berated by others because they join for benefits. Pretty sure people in the past joined for the benefits too, it is an incentive to have your college payed for and receive care and housing. If these benefits did not exist, very few would join. Most of the people in my former unit in ROTC always cried or screamed America but whenever their stipend didn't come in time, or they didn't receive one of their benefits in time, they would run up to the Hr person and literally scream "Where is my money at". It isn't easy these days to find a true patriot, and true patriots are usually revealed when there is an actual tragedy or crisis, not in social media where people are wearing American Flag speedos or tank tops.

I will say this again, my former Master Sergeant at my old ROTC unit talked to the whole entire battalion and asked who in here is in it for the benefits, of course no one raised their hands and even one cadet said he is in it so he could shoot bad guys. The Master Sergeant cried Bull****, he said everyone is in it for the benefits, maybe not solely but in one way that is an incentive. If this scholarship didn't exist, none of you guys would be here. That being said, you can't scold a poor individual who wants to join the military so he can get out of his/her poor neighborhood, or because they couldn't pay for college but needed the military to pay for it. This individual may not have serving his country on top of their priorities list but least they are making themselves grow up.
Click to expand...
Completely agree with you. I joined for the benefits, to get some separation from my family and for some other reasons that I would rather not get into on a public forum, but it was the best decision I ever made and here I am almost 2 years later getting paid to live in California, and about to enter USAFA. I can for sure say that 2.5 years ago if you asked me where I'd be, I would never have guessed where I am today.
 
I am making the mistake here of not thinking outside my own life experiences. As far back as I can remember, I've always known that my dad or my my uncles, or "old man cousins" may not come home again. We had rituals for Soldier, Sailors and Marines to help us cope with that. My youngest daughter was hard for the Corp from 5 years old. She has always known that service to country may come at the cost of her life.

That being said, I put about 3500 volunteer hours into Young Marines and Marine Corps JROTC over 3 years. There were many times when I was asked questions that kids didn't want to ask their parents, and sometimes those questions ventured into areas such as going to war, obeying lawful orders in battle, collateral damage, killing people in battle, coping with emotions after battles, etc. One memorable conversation involved a 9 year old asking over a camp fire if he would go to hell if he obeyed a lawful order to kill people in battle when he joined the Marines. JROTC cadets have asked me if I have killed anyone (no), seen people die (yes - terrorism 1985) and how to deal with it afterwards. I didn't sugar coat it for any of them, I also made sure I told them that failing to get help after battle, traumatic experiences, seeing people die, etc. was as dumb as ignoring a broken leg and not going to the doctor to get treatment so it would heal. The kids I worked with knew that joining the military could mean going to war, and there was a risk of dying in war.
 
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