Leaving USAFA (Update #2)

Good afternoon,

Many of you have seen my posts beforehand and previously thought I have decided to stay, however, life has hit me with a hammer and I need your advice and or help. My grandmother, who has acted as my mother throughout my life, has just been diagnosed with Stage III Uterine Sarcoma. The doctors estimate that she has about 9 months to a year depending on the treatment she receives.

Over the last year of me being at the academy, she has been homeless and floating at staying at friend's house due to the decline of her health. I don't think I could live with myself being at the academy knowing that I could be spending quality time with her and family. The one thing you don't get back in life is family and she deserves to enjoy her time with me, her grandson, as I am the only thing she cherishes in life. My grandmother does not have anyone else that could take care of her, as I am the only family she has.

I'm not throwing out being in the Air Force in the future so I did have a couple of questions

1. I know the academy offers "a year off" to individuals who declare good faith and reasoning. Will I be able to do this for my grandmother?

2. Will I be able to attend school at a state university if I did take that year off?

3. What options do I have of staying at the academy, if I decide to do so, in order to take care of my grandmother?

4. If I do leave, how would I be able to become a pilot through OTS if I attend civilian college?

Talk to your AOC. They can work this issue way better than anyone on here as they have the most current information about this kinda stuff.

1) You have to think about your future too
2) Why does your grandma have no one to help her?
3) Has she reached out to her Office on Aging in her town/county? What social services can she avail herself of?
4) How will you support her? Where will you live?
5) Could she move nearer to where you are and go into hospice?
6) What would you do for her if you lived on Mars and could make phone calls but not help in person?
7) I agree..get help from your AOC. Don't try to figure this out on your own.
8) What does she want?

Talk to your chaplain about this.


https://www.usafa.af.mil/Leadership/Chaplain-Corps/

9) Are you using this as an excuse to leave?

What a tough situation. I hope you find the solution that you feel is right for you.

Agree with all of the above, especially talking to the Chaplain.

Would your grandmother really want you to give up your dream? I would not want my children (don't have grandchildren yet) to give up their dreams to help me if I had a terminal disease and only months to live.

Honestly, I think that OP would not be a USAFA cadet since he or she doesn’t understand a basic principle any military institutions teach, i.e., “Chain Of Command.”

I am so sorry for all issues occurring but the key people in OP’s chain of command have been ignored completely. Why does OP post this issue in the SA forum rather that following his/her chain of command? They must be available to help, assist and/or collaborate 24/7.

This forum is not only for past/current officers/cadets but also for parents/kids.

Is this appropriate to share his/her lack of “chain of command” with the future SA candidates including even middle or elementary students pursuing their SA paths?

I don’t think that USAFA is significantly lacking the basic principle stated above
.........

I can’t find any “accountability as a cadet” and/or “chain of command” from OP’s writeup.

I can’t imagine going through life miserable. At least for more than a moment. A couple “feels” I got from following this story since first post (and past posts), is that OP mentioned in the past ‘not connecting with classmates’. This is a vey important statement, as you classmates at a SA BECOME your family. I get a sense that the poster is missing that connection. And it’s an important one. And one that would make a person miserable. I also get the sense that he is looking for a way to leave. If that’s been the underlying current for a year now, I doubt it’s going to change. You have to do you!

I don’t know about the program he mentioned of taking a year off, but I can’t imagine that would bode well, either physically, academically or as far as fitting in with your class.

I agree with talking with an Chaplin, and being honest in your motives. And leaving if it’s what you really desire. If it’s a reaction to your situation, be open to making changes that will bring about positive outcomes.

SA’s are all about teamwork. Not about you and your individual desires/needs/wants. You have to be ALL IN or it won’t work.

Or make sure it isn't a depression kind of thing

My motherly input. I would not want one of my children to derail their plans to care for me. The biggest gift to me would be for them to carry forward and ensure a good life when I was gone.

However, you seem to be looking for a reason to go at times. Please, find something to run to, not just something to run from. Find a college you can afford, a major that guarantees a job upon graduation, and once you are solid and settled, then work on changing the world.

Changing the world doesn’t pay the bills. Once the bills are paid, change the world.

Good luck.

Oh little one, I truly have no advice. I wish I could hold you and your grandma- I will keep you both in my heart.

I wish for you peace and clarity.