Personal Statement Advice

Superninja1

New Member
Joined
Jun 26, 2019
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9
Hello,

I was wondering if could get some advice about some things that should be on my personal statement for the USNA and my nomination essays. Anything is appreciated. Thank you!
 
What do you think should be on there? Perhaps that's part of the exercise?
I'm sure others will give you advice that you think is more useful.
 
Write about yourself and why you want to be there. If you write about what other people think you should write about, it won't be a personal statement anymore.
 
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1. What are your life experiences that have taught you the most, and especially, have made you a better and stronger person?
2. How do these life experiences make you an ideal USNA candidate?

Make them want to read more after your open lines/paragraph.
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Work with your English teacher if they have time this summer .... This is a real life application that will make a difference. Most English teachers love to help with this stuff.
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And please take your time on these essays ... don't be hasty. Work on the essays, then let them sit overnight. Do this for many days and nights. This is how it should progress. There will probably be similarities in your message between your USNA application and your Nominations. Please reach out to an English teacher or other trusty critic to give you good pointers.
 
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I suggest this to college applicants in general...but you should apply it to the service academies.


Google "Hacking the College Essay 2017" and read it.

Write the Essay No One Else Could Write

"It boils down to this: the essay that gets you in is the essay that no other applicant could write.
Is this a trick? The rest of this guide gives you the best strategies to accomplish this single
most important thing: write the essay no one else could write.
If someone reading your essay gets the feeling some other applicant could have written it,
then you’re in trouble.
Why is this so important? Because most essays sound like they could have been written by
anyone. Remember that most essays fail to do what they should: replace numbers (SAT/GPA) with the real you.
Put yourself in the shoes of an admissions officer. She’s got limited time and a stack of
applications. Each application is mostly numbers and other stuff that looks the same. Then she picks
up your essay. Sixty seconds later, what is her impression of you? Will she know something specifically
about you? Or will you still be indistinguishable from the hundreds of other applicants she has been
reading about?"
 
To Class of 2024 candidates looking for advice re personal essay: Posting your draft here and asking for advice is not your best route. Rather, you should turn to others who know you well, such as teachers, counselors, parents. It is a personal statement, so look to those who know you personally. They’re the ones who can tell you if the BS meter is going off or if the statement truly sounds like you.

Your statement needs to be so personal that it could not have been written by 100 others. That’s the general advice you’ll get here, but again, because we don’t know you, our feedback is nowhere near as helpful as the input you’d get from those who know you well.
 
As a writer, I'll give you the same advice I gave my now-Firstie - tell your story.
 
... tell your story.
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Invite them in, sit them down, and make them feel comfortable. (Don't bore them or scare them -- no spreadsheets or stats.) Then, tell them about those times and places, why they matter, and how this all relates to your current quest. ("Relating" your story to your quest is a translation and funneling process. Anybody can do it.)

Make them feel like they are there at that moment experiencing it with you.
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Take your time crafting your story. Keep coming back to it.
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