Plebes Dropping Already

My 3/c is currently on the Yard for SHAPE. We talked last night about the uncertainty or lack of knowledge for the 3/c's return. She said other SHAPE'rs could put in a chit to go back home after their training is over. She said she thought her Company commander would approve her chit, but she was hesitating as she said " you know part of being a 3/c is being a listening ear to the plebes after PS so umm not sure when I would get to come back so I was thinking..." And I told her Just stay there! It's all good, you are not hurting our feelings! She said I signed up for 4 years at the Academy so I want to be here as much as I can!
 
My 3/c is currently on the Yard for SHAPE. We talked last night about the uncertainty or lack of knowledge for the 3/c's return. She said other SHAPE'rs could put in a chit to go back home after their training is over. She said she thought her Company commander would approve her chit, but she was hesitating as she said " you know part of being a 3/c is being a listening ear to the plebes after PS so umm not sure when I would get to come back so I was thinking..." And I told her Just stay there! It's all good, you are not hurting our feelings! She said I signed up for 4 years at the Academy so I want to be here as much as I can!
Budding servant leader.
 
Yes, they knew it would suck. Yes, they knew no communication with parents.
The one thing we didn't anticipate is the inconsistency regarding rules. My plebe (tested negative) was told they are not to use their laptop for email to friends and family, so he hasn't. He's taken the very conservative route and stays on sites they were assigned and related sites on military topics. We got one 2 line "robo" email that was supposed to replace the mandatory 1 letter home. When we talked to him Sunday, he said that he uses the USNA laptop as if someone is going to look at a report of every single site he visited and read every email. But some Plebes have been Skyping, setting up GoogleMeetUp rooms, and emailing friends and Mom and Dad freely. So those Plebes are getting care packages with exactly what they want, while rest of us are just shooting in the dark based on advice from previous years. There are no real detailers until following the Oath, but until then, what were the rules supposed to be? They were told no "immune support" vitamin C gummies because they don't want to risk anything interfering with COVID symptoms showing up. OK, (makes zero sense from what we know of this virus, but I won't argue). But task force members confiscated individual water bottle flavor packets of Gatorade. Huh? We were originally told "no junk food"...so we were sending nuts, whole grain crackers, peanut butter, beef jerky, etc. Nope. They were allowed any treats they wanted...the rules about "junk food" are only applicable once Plebe summer starts. So the kids who were Skyping their parents are waving their bags of Sour Patch Worms at hall mates. By the time a care package gets there, it will be confiscated. Can't send any prescription medication. TOTALLY get that. But drugstore, OTC acne treatment that even pregnant women can use were confiscated from care packages. How can a topical drying agent or exfoliating scrub possibly interfere with COVID observation? Acne flare-ups are common, exacerbated by masks. Rant over. He is right where he has always wanted to be and just wants ROM to be OVER. As a mom, I'm looking forward to normalization/standardization/common sense, and seeing him at Christmas.
 
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Disclaimer: no plebe or USNA experience whatsoever. But life in the military will include many situations where the "word" is interpreted differently, scuttlebutt is rampant, standards are applied inconsistently, changes are rampant, etc. I advise not to try and make sense of it. Your DS should stick to the guidance his chain-of-command has laid out and is enforcing - that is the best choice to stay off the radar.
 
The one thing we didn't anticipate is the inconsistency regarding rules. My plebe (tested negative) was told they are not to use their laptop for email to friends and family, so he hasn't. He's taken the very conservative route and stays on sites they were assigned and related sites on military topics. We got one 2 line "robo" email that was supposed to replace the mandatory 1 letter home. When we talked to him Sunday, he said that he uses the USNA laptop as if someone is going to look at a report of every single site he visited and read every email. But some Plebes have been Skyping, setting up GoogleMeetUp rooms, and emailing friends and Mom and Dad freely. So those Plebes are getting care packages with exactly what they want, while rest of us are just shooting in the dark based on advice from previous years. There are no real detailers until following the Oath, but until then, what were the rules supposed to be? They were told no "immune support" vitamin C gummies because they don't want to risk anything interfering with COVID symptoms showing up. OK, (makes zero sense from what we know of this virus, but I won't argue). But task force members confiscated individual water bottle flavor packets of Gatorade. Huh? We were originally told "no junk food"...so we were sending nuts, whole grain crackers, peanut butter, beef jerky, etc. Nope. They were allowed any treats they wanted...the rules about "junk food" are only applicable once Plebe summer starts. So the kids who were Skyping their parents are waving their bags of Sour Patch Worms at hall mates. By the time a care package gets there, it will be confiscated. Can't send any prescription medication. TOTALLY get that. But drugstore, OTC acne treatment that even pregnant women can use were confiscated from care packages. How can a topical drying agent or exfoliating scrub possibly interfere with COVID observation? Acne flare-ups are common, exacerbated by masks. Rant over. He is right where he has always wanted to be and just wants ROM to be OVER. As a mom, I'm looking forward to normalization/standardization/common sense, and seeing him at Christmas.

All this is nothing new. Each company runs their own way. Something allowed with one company may not be allowed with another. And some things allowed first set of detailers may not be allowed 2nd. Some companies/squads are strict, others aren’t. And individual detailers are practicing their own leadership style...that also varies from person to person. Many of the ones they have now were voluntold to return to be plebe babysitters, ROM task force...they aren’t actual detailers. I suspect things will tighten up soon. This just plain isn’t plebe summer yet...

Don’t get frustrated. Honestly you shouldn’t even know this stuff going on. It’s a weird year. There will be variances in electronic usage allowed just like the care packages. It’s a short period of time. Hold off on sending stuff until you know it’s allowed (acne stuff).

Just support the process, and support your plebe. Who presently has tooooo much time on his hands to be thinking about things. Go with the flow. It’ll make life much easier. Honestly this is only the beginning of your frustration opportunities. Semper Gumby!
 
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@Therese_In_Denver

Just let it all go. These are his problems to solve, his decisions to make. Once ac year starts he can buy his own stuff in the Mid Store. Send him the occasional treat and be done with it. There will always be those who “rate what they skate,” meaning they will simply ignore the rules and think they are “pushing the edge of the envelope” by not doing what they are told (and what they will take a solemn oath to uphold and what they earnestly wrote and talked about in applications and interviews). He’s actually learning a key leadership lesson - consistency in rule enforcement and equal treatment leads to a happier crew. And, military people love to complain about Them, rules and people not following the rules!
 
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@Therese_In_Denver

Just let it all go. These are his problems to solve, his decisions to make. Once ac year starts he can buy his own stuff in the Mid Store. Send him the occasional treat and be done with it. There will always be those who “rate what they skate,” meaning they will simply ignore the rules and think they are “pushing the edge of the envelope” by not doing what they are told. He’s actually learning a key leadership lesson - consistency in rule enforcement and equal treatment leads to a happier crew. And, military people love to complain about Them, rules and people not following the rules!

All of this! He is doing what is right... it’s called integrity. When ‘the real Plebe Summer’ starts if a detailer asks if he contacted home he can say for the 1 required email. He has a conscious. This is what is right and is part of the honor system. Those other Plebes will have a shock when this all disappears in a few days. Every unit from the smallest size to the largest does things slightly different. As much as everyone thinks the military is rigid, its true, but also change is constant.
 
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I was surprised to hear from other parents on social media the amount of communication some were having with their kids. From letters from our son I understand his OIC made it very clear what the laptop permissions were. While comms would be awesome for this mama, I am proud to say we have heard zip beyond letters and the one call. Our boy is doing it right, by his company's rules. I'm totally fine with that. I am actually handling it far better than anticipated and have only collapsed in a heap in the closet a few times (I was predicting I would just move into the closet and remain in a heap on the floor until his return).
The way it sounds, it's like anything else in life. Inconsistent. One shift supervisor can have totally different tolerances for 'skating' by the rules than another. While frustrating, it is and always will be something we all have to work through in many capacities.
I bet our kids come out of this with mad skills and an understanding of how flexible they and we have to be--- and sour gummy worms are nasty anyway. Hang in there, @Therese_In_Denver they and we will get through this. They have each other, and we have red wine.
I'm just glad my kid finally got a roomie and isn't man handling the bed solo anymore (he isn't the tallest guy in Bancroft).
 
... I am actually handling it far better than anticipated and have only collapsed in a heap in the closet a few times (I was predicting I would just move into the closet and remain in a heap on the floor until his return) ...
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Do everything in the closet .... I never come out of the closet sometimes. My wife made me move my large screen TV into the closet 5 years ago. I have a big comfy reclining chair in there, shelves for my books, food and drinks ... while I am binging on whatever book or tv program.

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Do everything in the closet .... I never come out of the closet sometimes. My wife made me move my large screen TV into the closet 5 years ago. I have a big comfy reclining chair in there, shelves for my books, food and drinks, while I am binging on whatever book or tv program.

View attachment 6229
Is it like Harry Potter’s place under the stairs, and everything magically fits?
 
The one thing we didn't anticipate is the inconsistency regarding rules. My plebe (tested negative) was told they are not to use their laptop for email to friends and family, so he hasn't. He's taken the very conservative route and stays on sites they were assigned and related sites on military topics. We got one 2 line "robo" email that was supposed to replace the mandatory 1 letter home. When we talked to him Sunday, he said that he uses the USNA laptop as if someone is going to look at a report of every single site he visited and read every email. But some Plebes have been Skyping, setting up GoogleMeetUp rooms, and emailing friends and Mom and Dad freely.
Our DS took the same route - he knows others are emailing, but he was told not to, so he's not. Maybe it will save him some pushups later, maybe not, but he has always been a champion for doing what's right. Sounds like your is, too - be proud of him for that. We have only gotten letters and the phone call Sunday, and that's what we expected....but he has been writing every day, which has been amazing. I'm expecting that to stop after the oath of office when they will have zero time, so I'm cherishing every written word now. #thistooshallpass
 
I was surprised to hear from other parents on social media the amount of communication some were having with their kids. From letters from our son I understand his OIC made it very clear what the laptop permissions were. While comms would be awesome for this mama, I am proud to say we have heard zip beyond letters and the one call. Our boy is doing it right, by his company's rules. I'm totally fine with that. I am actually handling it far better than anticipated and have only collapsed in a heap in the closet a few times (I was predicting I would just move into the closet and remain in a heap on the floor until his return).
The way it sounds, it's like anything else in life. Inconsistent. One shift supervisor can have totally different tolerances for 'skating' by the rules than another. While frustrating, it is and always will be something we all have to work through in many capacities.
I bet our kids come out of this with mad skills and an understanding of how flexible they and we have to be--- and sour gummy worms are nasty anyway. Hang in there, @Therese_In_Denver they and we will get through this. They have each other, and we have red wine.
I'm just glad my kid finally got a roomie and isn't man handling the bed solo anymore (he isn't the tallest guy in Bancroft).
I was curious about that also. I've heard kids emailing parents still to this day. Not to mention hallway conversations with their doors open and watching Netflix on their computers. None of which my DS's company are allowed to do. I haven't heard a peep from my DS other than a few letters and a phone call from Sunday. He explicitly wrote in his emails. "No more emails allowed". He's sticking by it.
 
My DD is a former Napster who has spent the last 2 weeks in isolation...finally able to return to her Company today. I can tell you it almost broke her. She told me that it was worse than being quarantined at NAPS because there they could at least interact with each other. She sat in a room alone basically since she had arrived. Does anyone not rememeber what happened at Air Force this past spring when they quarantined their 1st Class Cadets?? So she had her phone and her laptop big deal! It was nice for the first few days but eventually what she craved was human interaction. I understand what an absolutely amazing opportunity this is...that is not lost on any of us...but please remember first and foremost they are human beings, still very much kids many who have left home for the first time. They should be afforded a bit of grace here.
 
My sentiment goes out to Nicdav17, his daughter, and any other soon to be plebe that may be experiencing this level of isolation. I don’t know what is actually happing inside the walls of Bancroft. I can only imagine. Some parents are “hearing” things and so are some plebes. As mentioned earlier, scuttlebutt can be rampant. The astute plebes ones will tune it out.

With the discussion of standards not being applied consistently between companies, I’d argue that the 1/C detailer that permitted a call or email in this situation, at a plebe’s personal moment, exhibited some real leadership. Rather than being “consistent”, he or she made the right decision at that exact moment. Sometimes it’s better to be right than consistent. And it isn’t going “soft” on the indoctrination system. No two or three situations are exactly alike. Part of the leadership equation is an understanding of the human condition. Detailers can still be tough and demanding. They will have made judgment calls this summer that will serve them later in the fleet: Am I being suckered or is this case legit? How can I help the individual cope? Hopefully, the decisions detailers make will provide the motivation for a plebe to meet the challenges that await. Grace indeed.

Good luck to all this Saturday.
 
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