This was a tough lesson in resilience and “steaming independently.” I am sorry it happened, but at least you were in the U.S. and not in some hellhole airport in a country with few signs in English and a phone without an e-SIM on a weekend the other side of the international dateline during a strike on a religious holiday.
With military travel - any travel - you should prepare for the worst (do some advance what-if-I-get-stuck-basic research) and hope for the best.
This was a massive cluster-fudge, stranding several thousand people in all stages of travel.
Have enough cash to eat, in case ATMs go down. Have your own credit card for emergency use. If others can’t solve the problem for you from thousands of miles away, because they are out of options, you have to be ready to assess basic needs, research, solve, be creative. Put your thinking cap on. There are multiple military bases in the area, most of which have transient housing. There are Navy Lodges and other on-base hotels. There is the Hale Koa Military Recreation Center Hotel on Waikiki Beach. There is a USO at that airport, as there are at most major airports, full of helpful volunteers. There is a visitors’ desk for information. There is an NROTC unit at UH Manoa - if it was during working hours, they would likely have adopted you.
USO lounge located in the Daniel K. Inouye International Airport.
hawaii.uso.org
USOs are the best!
Military members are expected to be savvy, viable problems-solvers and travelers around the world. You weren’t “traveling with the military.” You were a military member traveling on orders. If Plan A falls through, then Plans B and C, you keep trying, and if Plan Z is the one that gets you home, hallelujah. Proactive. Not reactive.
Your priorities are safety, water, food, shelter, and a path back to base.. You figure it out.
Now, I recognize you are at the very beginning of the learning curve. Look at this painful experience as an opportunity to learn and grow.