Advice for possible depression

[Nytoga330]

My sophomore son who is hoping to attend a service academy or ROTC is concerned about his feeling sad (he hasn’t used the word depression) and he sadness affecting his ability to concentrate/affecting relationships. We want to start the process of getting him help, but he’s nervous it will be a barrier to his academy aspirations.

We’re more concerned about his well-being, but he feels like this can defeat all the hard work he’s put in so far.
Is there a recommended way to get him the help he needs without causing him anxiety about his future? If he sees a specialist, should we make sure they’d be willing to provide their notes during the waiver process?

Thanks from a concerned Dad.

 

[MullenLE]

"We’re more concerned about his well-being," **** FIRST AND FOREMOST @ ALL TIMES

" Is there a recommended way to get him the help he needs without causing him anxiety about his future? If he sees a specialist, should we make sure they’d be willing to provide their notes during the waiver process?" **** Our crystal ball doesn't extend that far, which is why we conduct the exams when we do. As stated above, if he needs the help, he should get the help...above all. Yes, the records would be required. But, it could just be an adjustment disorder (one end of the spectrum) and not full out Major Depressive Disorder (on the other end of the spectrum).

So, you are correct...let a medical provider assess and then go for there

 

[Nytoga330]

"We’re more concerned about his well-being," **** FIRST AND FOREMOST @ ALL TIMES

" Is there a recommended way to get him the help he needs without causing him anxiety about his future? If he sees a specialist, should we make sure they’d be willing to provide their notes during the waiver process?" **** Our crystal ball doesn't extend that far, which is why we conduct the exams when we do. As stated above, if he needs the help, he should get the help...above all. Yes, the records would be required. But, it could just be an adjustment disorder (one end of the spectrum) and not full out Major Depressive Disorder (on the other end of the spectrum).

So, you are correct...let a medical provider assess and then go for there

Thank you. We have an appointment with the pediatrician set up. We’ll see what he recommends

 

[MullenLE]

Our honor and privilege to serve

 

[justdoit19]

My sophomore son who is hoping to attend a service academy or ROTC is concerned about his feeling sad (he hasn’t used the word depression) and he sadness affecting his ability to concentrate/affecting relationships. We want to start the process of getting him help, but he’s nervous it will be a barrier to his academy aspirations.

We’re more concerned about his well-being, but he feels like this can defeat all the hard work he’s put in so far.
Is there a recommended way to get him the help he needs without causing him anxiety about his future? If he sees a specialist, should we make sure they’d be willing to provide their notes during the waiver process?

Thanks from a concerned Dad.

Hugs, dad. Hang in there.

 

[ThrowAwayAcct2025]

Hi there,

As someone who had depression and anxiety during his freshman/sophomore years of high school and saw a therapist, I wouldn't be too concerned about it. I had gone through the waiver process for USNA and received a waiver. If that sort of stuff comes up for him with DoDMERB, just make sure that (if it's the truth ofc) he emphasizes that he is stable and has shown lots of improvement, worked on skills to help him when he's feeling this way, and could even say this will help him in a high-stress environment such as a service academy since he will have skills to deal with those feelings that many MIDNs need but don't have. If you end up needing a waiver, the process does take time (I had started it in Oct and received my waiver in May) so get right on it his senior year.

As someone who has struggled with mental health and did not have the most supportive parents, it's great to see how you're putting his well-being first. The most important thing is that he's okay.

Best of luck to you both!!

 

[Heatherg21]

Hang in there, mom and dad. That age is difficult and seeking a counselor, physician, or therapist can only be a good thing. Not all humans have the tools in their toolbox to deal with being a teenager, especially in this day and age. Trained professionals have tools that they can provide kiddos to better handle a difficult time in anyone's life.

My first suggestion when my teen students expressed stress, anxiety, and sadness was to refer them to counseling, and I always followed up with the counselor to give him/her a head's up that I had a kid I was concerned about.

The second was to get off of social media for 90 days and see how much better they would feel.

 

[Nytoga330]

Thanks everyone for the support!

 

[Nytoga330]

Hang in there, mom and dad. That age is difficult and seeking a counselor, physician, or therapist can only be a good thing. Not all humans have the tools in their toolbox to deal with being a teenager, especially in this day and age. Trained professionals have tools that they can provide kiddos to better handle a difficult time in anyone's life.

My first suggestion when my teen students expressed stress, anxiety, and sadness was to refer them to counseling, and I always followed up with the counselor to give him/her a head's up that I had a kid I was concerned about.

The second was to get off of social media for 90 days and see how much better they would feel.

Haha, I was going to suggest cleaning up his diet, get more sleep, less screen time, etc. But I don’t want to seem like I’m punishing him. Hopefully the counselor can recommend these things so we don’t have to be the bad guys.

 

[navy27hopeful]

Hi there,

As someone who had depression and anxiety during his freshman/sophomore years of high school and saw a therapist, I wouldn't be too concerned about it. I had gone through the waiver process for USNA and received a waiver. If that sort of stuff comes up for him with DoDMERB, just make sure that (if it's the truth ofc) he emphasizes that he is stable and has shown lots of improvement, worked on skills to help him when he's feeling this way, and could even say this will help him in a high-stress environment such as a service academy since he will have skills to deal with those feelings that many MIDNs need but don't have. If you end up needing a waiver, the process does take time (I had started it in Oct and received my waiver in May) so get right on it his senior year.

As someone who has struggled with mental health and did not have the most supportive parents, it's great to see how you're putting his well-being first. The most important thing is that he's okay.

Best of luck to you both!!

I completely agree with this! I just got a waiver from USNA for counseling (started late my sophomore year) and being honest is critical. It never hurts to talk to someone and it seemed that USNA was very understanding that I had made improvements and worked on skills etc. Definitely seek support/help- It's only going to benefit your son and shouldn't be the biggest obstacle DoDMERB wise.

 

[Patches2010]

My sophomore son who is hoping to attend a service academy or ROTC is concerned about his feeling sad (he hasn’t used the word depression) and he sadness affecting his ability to concentrate/affecting relationships. We want to start the process of getting him help, but he’s nervous it will be a barrier to his academy aspirations.

We’re more concerned about his well-being, but he feels like this can defeat all the hard work he’s put in so far.
Is there a recommended way to get him the help he needs without causing him anxiety about his future? If he sees a specialist, should we make sure they’d be willing to provide their notes during the waiver process?

Thanks from a concerned Dad.

Any history or current status of any mental imperfection will likely disqualify your son. Let him do with that information what he pleases.

 

[puzzler]

“Mental imperfection?” Methinks that would disqualify just about everyone.