Anxiety no meds...is it over?

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Happydadfl68

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Feb 17, 2023
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My DS did a couple counseling sessions in 2020 and a couple in 2023. General anxiety due to stress of life and generally just wanting to talk to someone. We are currently waiting on getting remedials from counselors. I have read all of the dodmerb stuff and it looks like it is over for him just based on this. Any thoughts? Is this kid really going to be DQ'd because he just wanted to talk to someone, which to me is actually healthy.
 
Happydadfl68 said:
My DS did a couple counseling sessions in 2020 and a couple in 2023. General anxiety due to stress of life and generally just wanting to talk to someone. We are currently waiting on getting remedials from counselors. I have read all of the dodmerb stuff and it looks like it is over for him just based on this. Any thoughts? Is this kid really going to be DQ'd because he just wanted to talk to someone, which to me is actually healthy.
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Work the process, hope for a waiver if DQ, that is all you can do. It is indeed healthy for any individual to get help when they need it.

The way to think about this is utilitarian, not from the individual’s POV, but the unit. The military medical accession bar is set very high. Military people routinely work in harsh, harsh operating environments, often remote and far from advanced medical care. High stress. High pressure. Relentless. Sleep deprivation. Physical danger from many sources. Some of the worst working conditions humans can endure. The safety of the unit is paramount, and the safety of the unit often depends on everyone being physically and mentally able to do their jobs and contribute. That’s why the military looks for people who are the least vulnerable to illness, injury or recurrence of past conditions. In “normal” life, these people can carry on just fine. High op tempo evolutions in or near a combat zone, or even the pressure cooker of a service academy, might be a hairsbreadth too much. Utilitarianism: the good of the many outweighs the good of the few.
 
Capt MJ said:
Work the process, hope for a waiver if DQ, that is all you can do. It is indeed healthy for any individual to get help when they need it.

The way to think about this is utilitarian, not from the individual’s POV, but the unit. The military medical accession bar is set very high. Military people routinely work in harsh, harsh operating environments, often remote and far from advanced medical care. High stress. High pressure. Relentless. Sleep deprivation. Physical danger from many sources. Some of the worst working conditions humans can endure. The safety of the unit is paramount, and the safety of the unit often depends on everyone being physically and mentally able to do their jobs and contribute. That’s why the military looks for people who are the least vulnerable to illness, injury or recurrence of past conditions. In “normal” life, these people can carry on just fine. High op tempo evolutions in or near a combat zone, or even the pressure cooker of a service academy, might be a hairsbreadth too much. Utilitarianism: the good of the many outweighs the good of the few.
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All of that makes sense and I completely understand the concepts. But this kid is probably one of the most well adjusted kids you will ever meet. Something just doesn't seem right about this. He wanted to be sure his thoughts were healthy and the counselor even used him to measure others mental health as a baseline. With that being said.... we are going to trust the process and believe that whatever happens was meant to be. Thanks for your insight.
 
... just my $.02 cents.

I think if you're a parent whose been with your kid since birth, you'd already know the answer. Hall of famer Charles Barkley during a 60-Minutes interview admitted that his daughter is not aggressive enough playing basketball. He asked her and she told him that she just doesn't like basketball.
 
I would not assume it’s over any more than I would with a physical injury. As advised above, work through the process. They just went to make sure an applicant is physically and mentally prepared for the stress of a SA.
Teenage years can be very stressful, sometjing exacerbated during COVID when we had people locked down and isolated. The impact of this on child development and stress was major. If every teen who ever felt overwhelmed and stressed by everything over the last 3 years was DQed we would have a small pool of applicants.
 
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Anxiety disorder (not sure if that's the right term) can be disqualifying for commissioning. I am aware of an unbelievably impressive midshipman (not mine) who received the golden handshake because of this.
 
navy27hopeful said:
Not over. I'm writing this at my desk in Bancroft after applying with a history of anxiety and depression, trust the process
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Really appreciate you posting. As you know this process is difficult and stressful. Taking the time time to give us hope really means a lot. Thank you also for your willingness to serve our great country and we wish you the best.
 
Happydadfl68 said:
Really appreciate you posting. As you know this process is difficult and stressful. Taking the time time to give us hope really means a lot. Thank you also for your willingness to serve our great country and we wish you the best.
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Yes, I remember all too well the stress and fear after submitted my DoDMERB. If it offers any peace, the military and USNA especially seems well aware that it is normal for some teens to undergo some sort of trouble with mental health. Over plebe summer in fact, one of our required evolutions was being introduced to the therapists at the MDR. Feel free to PM me with questions or anything
 
Also, just to add on, service academies are pressure cookers for sure. I have seem some of my plebe friends completely break down out of stress or anxiety. You'll see mids develop their own way to deal with it. Lots will go on runs, our traino encourages us to journal and reflect. People do yoga or meditation, long walks on Sundays, etc. Your son dealing with normal stress and wanting to talk to someone is in no way a red flag to me and I would be extremely surprised if it is seen that way by USNA. It would be different if he had a history of suicide or something more extreme. I don't want to give you false hope but in my experiences I hope and lean towards them being understanding of the situation.
 
If he was on any meds, you have to be 2 yrs removed to be granted a waiver. I guess counselling would be considered treatment for a psychological issue so Im not sure if you would need to be 2 yrs removed from that.
 
I'm not sure if this has been resolved yet, but you want to go to a psychiatrist or other qualified doc and have them administer a "Multidimensional Anxiety Scale and the Personality Assessment Inventory" and be prepared to submit that as AMI.
 
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