Apologies

Christcorp

15-Year Member
Joined
May 21, 2008
Messages
5,377
Sometimes, I feel that I need to either apologies, or clarify, things I have posted. This is one of those times. I did want to wait a couple days after the "Wow" thread, sort of quieted down.

I am usually pretty well thought out in what I want to say/write on the forums. Hence, the reason I am usually long winded. I try hard to make sure there is little ambiguity in what I write. Unfortunately, forums and other forms of writing, doesn't always convey the true meaning. It's not a dialog where we can qualify or clarify our meanings immediately. Many times, the true meaning of what is being conveyed, isn't always apparent.

While I can't necessarily apologize for what I've posted, I definitely apologize for how some of my postings were written. Sometimes I forget that not everyone in the forums have a military background. Sometimes I forget that not all individuals respond to circumstances the same way. But I never forget that I know that each parent on this forum truly loves and cares for their kids, and only wants the best for them. I know that every applicant on this forum, truly does want to be the best that they can be in any endeavor that they pursue. I also know that the words I use are usually very blunt, without sugar coating, and intended for individuals to use to help them through the appointment, academy, and military process.

So I do apologize if any of my posts seemed antagonistic, demeaning, uncaring, rude, or disrespectful. That has never been, and never will be my intent. None of my posts are meant to be personal. And even when they sometimes come out argumentively, they aren't a personal attack on anyone. Let's be honest, except for a few people on this forum who are personal friends, like Steve, Cindy, Cheryl, and some others, too many to list, I don't know most people here personally. So I have no reason to make any of my posts personal. Please don't take any posts that way.

But again, I realize that not everyone here shares the same background and experiences, especially when it comes to the academy and military life style. As such, I need to be more considerate of that when I post. Especially in controversial topics. I know you parents love your kids and want the best for them. You wouldn't be on this forum if you didn't. So I hope you accept my apology if anything I wrote offended or upset you. The Air Force has been a big part of my life for more than 35 years. I sometimes get quite passionate of it and the next generation of men and women who will walk the blue line defending our country. Thanks. Mike.
 
So I do apologize if any of my posts seemed antagonistic, demeaning, uncaring, rude, or disrespectful. . .

How does one become "antagonistic, demeaning, uncaring, rude, or disrespectful" on this forum?

What is wrong with being "antagonistic, demeaning, uncaring, rude, or disrespectful" on this forum?

Found a good quote with an internet serach - "freedom is hammered out on the anvil of discussion, dissent, and debate." Hubert H. Humprey

I got it as to no good reason to be "antagonistic, demeaning, uncaring, rude, or disrespectful," but I could be " "antagonistic, demeaning, uncaring, rude, or disrespectful" but still make valid points.

Some people will think that I am being "antagonistic, demeaning, uncaring, rude, or disrespectful" for this post. If so my reply is that you are being "antagonistic, demeaning, uncaring, rude, or disrespectful" to me.
 
I know I have not always worded things well, and I have let my fingers get carried away. Is there an equivalent to "speak before I think" expression for social media? I have also forgotten we all don't share the same background. That whole assume thing has bitten me a time or two.

I apologize for posts that seemed disrespectful, etc. etc. etc. as well.

Hopefully, I will avoid foot in mouth and run away fingers in the future. :)
 
Mike,

Anyone that knows you, knows where your heart lies.
AF!

We all find ourselves every so often fighting/defending what we believe in to the bottom of our souls.
 
MIKE!

I've crossed the line of civility many times - through frustration, arrogance, ignorance, you name it. I have never known your advice to be anything but direct, true, and kind.

Like you, I do apologize to any and all whom I have offended, irritated, enraged, or just plain bored over the years.
 
Christcorp,

Your post above was well said. I too was guilty of "over-egging the custard" so I want to apologize to you in particular and the forum members in general.
 
Christcorp,

Thank you for this heartfelt apology. I too would like to apologize. I know I like to play devil's advocate and sometimes I get carried away as in this case.
 
Not sure any apology is necessary from anyone. All a person can do is offer up their thoughts and perspectives and hopefully not misrepresent who they are or the basis of their perspective.

Is the view that of a parent (based on an n of 1), a long time sponsor (based on an n of 20), or an SA representative (BGO, etc...) as each implies a certain weight. In that regard I do wonder if those who represent certain SAs on this site, especially USAFA and USNA, understand how their writing comes across and that it may not always be as they intend. Would they be surprised that it can be a factor in how a candidate and/or candidate's parents view that SA, and in some cases influenced a decision to decline an appointment in favor of another SA. That may be good or bad depending on if you view your role here as a gatekeeper for your respective SA.

There is a DODBERB representative that posts on these forums on occasion and I would guess the vast majority would say those posts are a benefit both to his Agency and to the candidates and rarely or never generate controversy. Given the topic that is a remarkable feat. You want to ask yourself if your own writing consistently reflects well on the organization or person you represent.
 
Mike, (Christcorp)
As a fairly new participant in the forum, I have to say that your comments are generally some of the most balanced, informative and NON-inflammatory on this site!

I appreciate that you recognize the fact that sometimes a youngster, or inexperienced parent might show up on here and feel pounced on by long time members. Nonetheless, I don't think an apology is necessary. I do realize that members can easily forget how some folks are new to this whole forum business. I know I lurked for a while before getting my "sea legs" and jumping in.

I thank you sincerely for all of your relevant and cogent contributions!:thumb:
 
I definitely appreciate all the feedback, here and in PM's. I really didn't intend for this thread to actually turn into one with replies. But those replies are healthy in demonstrating how difficult forums can be when trying to take a position on a topic.

I think the most important thing that can be learned from this thread, is that it's imperative that people don't take any post personal. No matter how much you disagree with a post, no matter how insensitive it may appear, 99.9837456% of the time, the post is not a personal attack on anyone. Admins like tacticslNuke and mods like flieger and stealth have done an excellent job taking care of the few that do make their comments personal. So when a poster says something that heats you up a little, realize that it's not personal. That poster doesn't know you. They don't dislike you. They're probably just as passionate about their position as you are.

As for me, I'm a PITA. Not to be confused with PIMA. (LOL sorry Cheryl). I'm not a fan of political correctness. I believe it causes more harm than good for a society. We are all Americans, that's all. I also don't worry if what I say makes an applicant or parent have second thoughts about attending the academy. I'd rather those people know more now about what they are getting into, than after they get there. And if I do mis speak or say something that isn't correct, and I have, we have other highly respected posters like flieger, hornet, lits, raimius, Pima, fencermother, and others who will step in to correct me.

That is what makes this forum, in my opinion, the best forum relating to the military academies, ROTC, prep schools, etc. the knowledge of all the posters. Cadets, alumni, retired military, active duty, parents, applicants, and appointees. The academies are always evolving. Things change. Society changes. The perspectives of all forum contributors is a necessity to this forums success. I have no problem with some of the more official forums and Facebook pages. But most of those are the PC sugar coated forums. Designed to make people feel good. This forum gives applicants the facts. They get the tools needed to be competitive applicants and successful cadets. We actually have a pretty high percentage appointment rate on this forum. And that's because of the members here. I'll take the occasional argument and disagreement here, knowing that the applicants are getting the tools they need, than the warm fuzzy feelings at some of the other forums. For many of us, the military has been a big part of our lives. If we just wanted to retire and forget about the military and our country, that would be easy to do. Many people have done that. Most of the regulars on this forum are only here for one reason. They care.

So try and be considerate of how others may receive your posts. But if you aren't, no biggie. I then ask the person reading these posts, to not take it personal. It's not meant to be. Then, we can continue on helping the applicants know how to get through the process most efficiently and become competitive. And hopefully prepare them by helping them understand better what they are getting themselves into. Mike.
 
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