arrival

If your candidate says that they want to go alone, you need to put your own needs behind theirs.
I think this says all that is necessary about whether parents should attend I-Day. If they don't have a preference, or want you to attend....enjoy the trip.:thumb:
 
Our DS wants to go out alone. We respect that. On the other hand, we have reservations in the Springs for A-day and for Parents Weekend. Who knows? We may show up on I-day...from a distance. We're more like snipers than helicopters.
 
Our son said "of course I want you there"! We made a family trip of it and arrived about a week early so he could begin acclimating to the altitude. We even took the annual "first day of school" pictures! Being there was the right thing for our family. I still get emotional when I remember those two days!
 
Excellent experiences and advice given here. No need for me to comment to the parents.But I would like to say something to the applicants; whether soon to be or those with or hoping still for an appointment.

Let your parents decide if they can come to the academy or not. Whether it's "I" day; "A" day; "Parent's weekend"; or any other time. You might think this is "All about you" and that it's your life, but it's not. You might be all excited about starting your "New life", but you can't just dismiss your "Old Life". You are still part of your family; and your leaving is a lot more difficult on your parents, than you can imagine, and probably harder than it is on you.

By asking them to NOT COME, you're basically saying: "I don't need you any longer". If your parents can't afford to come, they'll let you know. But if they express any desire to come to "I" day, "A" day, and most importantly "Parent's Weekend", then most definitely let them. "Trust me. You'll be glad you did". Especially when you find that one or two new cadets who have no support from their family at all. And there are some in every class. When my son started 3 years ago, there was one cadet who's parents were so again him going to the academy, that they told him he was on his own now. I don't know about 3 months ago, but I know he wasn't even welcomed home at Christmas or summer breaks. He spent that time with friend.

I speak from experience. When I joined the air force, I didn't let my parents even take me to the air port. I had them just drop me off at the train station about 5 miles from town. I just wanted out. I was very selfish. While things are OK now; I can honestly say that there were issues between myself and my mom for a few years. Found out later, from my younger sister, that my mom was really hurt. She got the impression that I was basically saying: "Hey, I don't need you anymore. Bye".

Anyway; all I'm saying is that you're going to have the majority of the next 4 years to yourself away from your parents. You'll then have all of the following 5 years minimum where your life is totally at your discretion. For the few times that your parents might want to be involved; "LET THEM". Remember; as much as you might want to believe that "YOU" accomplished all those things on your application to the academy; you did NOT do it all on your own. You had the support of your parents. Maybe they came to your sporting events. The times they drove you to practice. When they seemed mean by forcing you to get your homework done. Believe what you want, but you wouldn't be where you are today, applying or accepting an appointment, if it wasn't for your parents. So, if they mention wanting to come to "I" day, "A" day and/or "parent's weekend"..... LET THEM!!! And be excited about it. When you see the look on some of the cadet's on "A" day who don't have any family there because they just couldn't afford it or couldn't get away, you'll know what I'm talking about. On parent's weekend, when you see the cadets who don't have anyone there visiting them and going through their classes with them; you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

Just trust me on this one. IF your parents have the means of coming to the academy, and they want to come, then welcome them. Your parents are adults. Don't think for them. If they can't afford it, they'll let you know. But if they express a desire to be there, let them. Best of luck to all. Mike....
 
Well said, Mike.

Look. We (the parents) ALL understand why our children may want us NOT to be there: fear that they'll do something that either: 1) embarrasses you, or 2) gets you the attention of a cadre ready to yell at you at the drop of a hat.

Trust us; the cadre was in the same boat 2 years earlier, having to hug a family and say good-bye while a Mom is crying, a sibling is whining, and a Dad is just standing behind them with a solemn look on his face rubbing their backs (he'll cry later, alone; trust me on that one again). They'll let you have your time, and they'll remember when THEY went through the same situation.

Now, if you fear that during the middle of the march into the t-zo after you take your oath your mom will come running out of the stands and straight to the cadets screaming, "My Baby, MY BABY! Please don't take my baby away!"?

Well, just give her a little "counseling" prior and tell dad to hold her hand when it comes that time to prevent it. And trust me again, I can guarantee she'll surprise you and simply walk away (with a tear on her cheek). We're adults too, and know what is proper.

Besides, admit it. You always wanted your parents to feel proud about you. So trust me this last time: This will be one of those days, probably second during your time at the AFA only to the day you graduate and get your Commission. (BTW, they'll cry again that day as well).

But, like it has been said. IT IS YOUR CHOICE.
 
EYE-DAY

The remarks of Bullet, CC, Mike&Cris, et al., are simply eloquent. I left home for "the service" (USAF) fifty eight years ago, nevertheless, I can readily relate and reading the above brought tears to these old eyes just as it did the rest of you - believe me!
 
A-Day (or Acceptance Day) is August 3rd this year. It is usually the day before classes begin, and it is something to see if you are able. It will be the first full parade that you will see your child march in. It is also one of the two times in your cadet/candidate's time at USAFA that you will see the 'V' formation either join or retreat from the wing. On Acceptance Day you will see your 4-degree march in the "V" formation to join the wing. The other time will be at the graduation when the Firsties separate from the wing in the "V".

If you can only get to COS once this year, then Parents Weekend is the top choice. If you are able to make it for Acceptance Day, too, then do it. You may have time after the parade on A-Day to spend a couple of hours with your 4-degree. Most of the time you can, but we know of a couple of people whose cadet had other duties at that time and they were not able to.

Stealth_81
 
One more thing...

When my son was applying to the Academy, we knew the Academy was a top rated university; that it has excellent facilities and faculty, that its where the best and brightest go, etc. What we didn't know was the "Academy Family" or the Air Force Family. It's a feeling of belonging to something bigger than the sum of the parts. My son and I first experienced it at orientation. A few months later my wife and I appreciated it at I-Day and then again at Parents Weekend. We now see it again and again on the forums (here, AOG, webguy etc) and at parents club meetings. This feeling does not exist at UCLA or San Diego State. I'm pretty confident it only exists at the service academies and perhaps a handful of other colleges. It's a sense of community that binds the parents as their child goes through one of the more amazing journeys any college student can take. I realize the Academy experience is, first and formost, about the cadets. However, we parents and family are very much a part of the roller coaster ride. For this reason, I say the sooner you become part of the family, the better. If you can do it, go to I-Day. And no matter what, go to Parents Weekend.
 
I know that my parents probably can't afford to go to I-Day and Parents Weekend. I think that maybe those of us who are in the same position should plan to get together when we all get to Colorado and make our own family that way no one has to report alone. I'm not sure exactly how I-Day works, but it might be a bit easier if we can band together instead of standing in lines alone. :)
 
While parents get to spend a couple hours with their new cadet, you can't really go anyplace. Parents many times bring a big picnic lunch and you find a patch of grass and hang out. You will make many new friends. Because you don't have your cell phone back, many who's parents can't come will be invited by a new friend who's family is there. Those parents normally let the cadets joining them borrow their cell to call home. It will work out.
 
I share this for anyone out there for whom finances do not allow multiple trips to CO. I could not afford to fly out to Colorado from NC more than once last year. From reading on here I made the decision to attend Parents Week. It was very tearful watching my son walk down that concourse all alone the day before I day. I will forever bless the ticket agent who gave me a pass to accompany him all the way to the gate. My son stayed at his sponsor's house. (It was the same couple's house he stayed at when he flew out for his visit. They didn't become his official sponsor until some time during BCT.) When my son called me that night he told me he was really glad he had that time to himself. He's always been the kind that liked to "get into the zone" as someone else had mentioned. He said it was alot to wrap his head around, and if he had been trying to spend quality time with me it wouldn't have given him that time to really contemplate what he was preparing to do. Things were so rushed the whole month before he left, he said it was good to have the plane ride and the time alone the night before. It allowed him to walk up those stairs knowing in his heart it was what he wanted to do. It was his decision and he knew he was making it for the right reason. (Granted, he may have been making all that up just to not make me feel bad!) There were two other kids staying at the sponsor's house, so he wasn't alone going in the next day, and had already made some friends.
So if finances don't allow you to accompy your child out for I day, know that it will not be the end of the world. Good may even come from it.
Welcome to the roller coaster ride! :thumb:
 
I know that my parents probably can't afford to go to I-Day and Parents Weekend. I think that maybe those of us who are in the same position should plan to get together when we all get to Colorado and make our own family that way no one has to report alone. I'm not sure exactly how I-Day works, but it might be a bit easier if we can band together instead of standing in lines alone. :)

I'm cool with that!
My parents can't afford it either.
 
our family will very happily adopt all of you whose parents can't come to 'I' day, and 'A" day and parents weekend!!
i have also heard from the parents group here that the bed and breakfast program is great for kids who have to travel on their own to colorodo. if you are traveling on your own make sure you sign up for it.
 
Good grief! I thought I had handled these emotions! :) My son is a C3C and I'm tearing up remembering how it felt to say good-bye to him at the airport in Austin, TX when he and my husband made the trip to CO for I-Day 2 years ago...It's such an incredible experience for the whole family! It's every proud moment of your child's life coming together in a single hug. It's such a personal choice. We opted to have my husband and son take a week-long vacation together before I-Day then go to the Academy. I stayed at home and cried A LOT. My husband hung out at the Academy for 2 days and caught glimpses of our son here and there and met lots of other parents who were doing the same. He loved it. Our son appreciated knowing his father was nearby. He also knew that his mom was at home hugging his pillow and saying prayers. To be completely honest, I think I would have made my son's transition to USAFA more stressful had I gone with him because I was such a nervous wreck about him leaving home. I didn't want to project my own insecurities onto him at a time when he needed to be strong and confident about what was ahead of him. He knew, too, that someone in our family would be mailing a letter from home every day, so he had that to look for to as well. Note about letters to cadets - keep 'em positive, folks. No bad news. More on that later. :)
 
Excellent experiences and advice given here. No need for me to comment to the parents.But I would like to say something to the applicants; whether soon to be or those with or hoping still for an appointment.

Let your parents decide if they can come to the academy or not. Whether it's "I" day; "A" day; "Parent's weekend"; or any other time. You might think this is "All about you" and that it's your life, but it's not. You might be all excited about starting your "New life", but you can't just dismiss your "Old Life". You are still part of your family; and your leaving is a lot more difficult on your parents, than you can imagine, and probably harder than it is on you.

By asking them to NOT COME, you're basically saying: "I don't need you any longer". If your parents can't afford to come, they'll let you know. But if they express any desire to come to "I" day, "A" day, and most importantly "Parent's Weekend", then most definitely let them. "Trust me. You'll be glad you did". Especially when you find that one or two new cadets who have no support from their family at all. And there are some in every class. When my son started 3 years ago, there was one cadet who's parents were so again him going to the academy, that they told him he was on his own now. I don't know about 3 months ago, but I know he wasn't even welcomed home at Christmas or summer breaks. He spent that time with friend.

I speak from experience. When I joined the air force, I didn't let my parents even take me to the air port. I had them just drop me off at the train station about 5 miles from town. I just wanted out. I was very selfish. While things are OK now; I can honestly say that there were issues between myself and my mom for a few years. Found out later, from my younger sister, that my mom was really hurt. She got the impression that I was basically saying: "Hey, I don't need you anymore. Bye".

Anyway; all I'm saying is that you're going to have the majority of the next 4 years to yourself away from your parents. You'll then have all of the following 5 years minimum where your life is totally at your discretion. For the few times that your parents might want to be involved; "LET THEM". Remember; as much as you might want to believe that "YOU" accomplished all those things on your application to the academy; you did NOT do it all on your own. You had the support of your parents. Maybe they came to your sporting events. The times they drove you to practice. When they seemed mean by forcing you to get your homework done. Believe what you want, but you wouldn't be where you are today, applying or accepting an appointment, if it wasn't for your parents. So, if they mention wanting to come to "I" day, "A" day and/or "parent's weekend"..... LET THEM!!! And be excited about it. When you see the look on some of the cadet's on "A" day who don't have any family there because they just couldn't afford it or couldn't get away, you'll know what I'm talking about. On parent's weekend, when you see the cadets who don't have anyone there visiting them and going through their classes with them; you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

Just trust me on this one. IF your parents have the means of coming to the academy, and they want to come, then welcome them. Your parents are adults. Don't think for them. If they can't afford it, they'll let you know. But if they express a desire to be there, let them. Best of luck to all. Mike....

I'm just creeping around on the forums tonite....and I don't know how I missed this post. It should be published....it is so eloquent and heartfelt. Thank you. Our DS just returned tonite from his Scoutmaster Review...he made Eagle. Tomorrow he turns 18. This USAFA application process has pulled so many emotions from me that I thought would wait to surface until graduation day. I love this forum...it has validated me w/ respect to my feelings about my beloved son. Thank you!
 
Congratulations on your son's eagle. That's a very impressive accomplishment. One of many, and many more to come, I'm sure. Being accepted to the air force academy is a very emotional time for the applicant and his/her family.

A normal college student has it so much easier emotionally. Not dogging college students; especially ROTC; but traditional college affords both the parents and the student a gradual maturing opportunity. Chances are, parents took their kid to college. Helped them move in. Both student and parents know that they are still there for each other. Students are most likely in a college where at least one other person from their high school is attending that they know. They are free to come and go at will. Parents can visit any time they want. Even if parents and students don't see each other every week, just knowing they COULD relieves much of the emotional anxiety. The student is also home for the entire summer. They know it's a 4-5 year maturation process. Each semester, they will gradually become more and more independent. By the time graduation comes, both the student and the parent feel that they are ready to start their own life now.

At the academy, you have exactly 4 1/2 minutes. That's the final good bye at the AOG if your parents came to the academy with you, or the final good bye at the airport terminal. From that very moment on, the student/basic trainee/cadet is now expected to be totally responsible for their own actions. What gets you through, is knowing that 1100-1300 others are in exactly the same boat as you. And by the time the 6 weeks of basic training is over, you will be totally responsible for yourself. What a civilian college student and parents had 4-5 years to gradually accomplish; you will accomplish in 6 weeks.

The consolation for the parents however is; the first time they see their son/daughter after Basic Training, they will see a respect and appreciation in their child's eyes. It may or may not be said, but you will see that you raised them right, and that they really do appreciate everything you've done for them. The separation, maturation, and independence is quite abrupt. However; the results are astounding. Best of luck to each and every one of you. mike....
 
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