Bad War Movies

Day-Tripper

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Here's a list of war/military bad war movies.

1. The Great Escape (1963); Once one of my favorite films. However, in retrospect the Allied POWs in the German Stalag seems remarkably well-fed & healthy. Always clean-shaven. Uniforms always in good condition. Why would the even want to escape? There was no weather. Always sunny. No snow. No cold. It tooks many months to build those tunnels, surely there must have been rainy or snowy days in Germany in 1944, no? Like all Hollywood war movies, every German speaks fluent English. James Coburn's Australian accent? Ugh.

2. Windtalkers (2002); a Nicholas Cage vehicle. In the actual WW2 the average age of Marines in the Pacific War was probably 20. In this movie? Around 40. The Marines were told to kill Navajo code talkers lest they be captured by the Japanese. Absurd. No such order would ever have been given (and wasn't; even regarding Japanese-American translators) or ever carried out.

3. The Alamo (1961); John Wayne as director and star (Davy Crockett). I can't believe I actually liked this film once. It was just horrible almost every minute of it. The writers of this turkey should have been shot. The Duke's last war movie. Redeemed himself nicely a year later in "True Grit".

4. Pearl Harbor (2001); OK, honestly I never even liked this one to begin with. Historically inaccurate, i.e. no US Army Air Force pilot ever got assigned to the RAF. If a US pilot went to England to fly against the Luftwaffe he did so on his own & was technically a deserter. The Doolittle Raid on Tokyo used bombers & bomber crews, not fighter pilots suddenly switched over to flying B-25s. Alec Baldwin is a fine actor, but his overweight portrayal of Jimmy Doolittle was hysterical. Oh, yeah, and Cuba Gooding Jr telling a dying Naval officer "You tained us good sir." When, of course, the Navy trained black sailors to be messmen & nothing else.

5. The Patriot (2000); Mel Gibson sure hates the British (and, of course, the Jews). This movie implies the Redcoats were a sort of Einsatzgruppen murdering their way across South Carolina. Untrue. Gibson's speech-a-fying and historically unlikely benevolence towards black slaves were hard to take.

6. We Were Soldiers (2002); Mel Gibosn again. What a tremendous book turned into such a trash movie. Why film a Vietnam War movie in North Carolina? Why? Aren't there palm trees in Southern California, Florida, Hawaii .... hell, even Mexico or Puerto Rico? Again, Gibson's endless speeches (when a couple of words of command would suffice) makes me wonder why his men didn't frag him. An otherwise good actor, Sam Elliott, renders a ridiculous version of a lifer sgt.

7. The Green Berets (1968); John Wayne again. When this movie was shown to troops actually in Vietnam they either walked out on it, laughed or booed. It was simply so bad.

8. Gone With The Wind (1939); overall a very good movie & not essentially a war movie. But with the Civil War as the central theme you'd think there would be a single reference to, you know, SLAVERY. Nope. MGM studios didn't want to lose the white Southern movie market. Also, why so many lymies in the cast? Olivia DeHavilland, Vivian Leigh, Lelsie Howard. Even Clark Gable (who wisely made no effort at a Southern accent) was from Ohio. No Southern actors in 1939 Hollywood? Even Hattie McDaniel was from Kansas.

9. The Battle of the Bulge (1965); a movie I was really liked cause I, well, liked all war movies. In retrospect, upon watching it you'd come away thinking the only reason the US Army won the battle was because ther Germans had no fuel for their panzers. The Wehrmacht comes across as a disciplined war machine (Robert Shaw). The US Army filled with hustlers like Telly Savalas & morons like James MacArthur. No real depiction of the American heroism in perhaps its greatest battlefield victory. No reference to Patton's 3rd Army breaking the siege at Bastogne. Also, one second the battle is conducted in a ragine snow storm (as it was) but then the final tank battle takes place in what appears to be the desert, with a complete lack of snow. Did it all melt? Again, all the soldiers appear to be 40 year olds.

10. Any movie about the War on Terror (Iraq & Afghanistan); possible exceptions "The Hurt Locker" & "American Sniper".

11. Any war movie with Chuck Norris in it. Or Sylvester Stallone.

12. Any movie with an actor portraying Adolf Hitler.

13. Alexander (2004); Oliver Stone directs good-to-great movies, except for Alexander. Colin Farrell is a good actor, except in Alexander. Ponderous. Slow. I get it Oliver, India was Alexander's Vietnam. You're still pissed off for serving in the 25th Infantry Division in South Vietnam. OK OK OK. Didn't Platoon (1986) & JFK (1991) exorcise those demons sufficiently?
 
Tons of bad ones, just a few good ones it seems. Documentaries have gotten much better with the ability to film with just a phone while in close combat.
 
My favorite terrible WW2 epic is The Longest Day, featuring a veritable international Who's Who of Hollywood's finest (male) stars at the peak of their powers. Released in 1962 it is old enough that there was plenty of authentic ordinance to work with, they had the acting talent on hand, there were a host of technical advisors to keep things real, and it was awful. You'd think having English, German, French and American actors would lend some authenticity to the accents, but they're not good. You'd think John Wayne as your parachute CO would be great, but he was in his un-athletic 50s at the time and was wildly unlikely looking in the company of his troops. You might hope that using real soldiers in real loations would lend some authenticity. You'd be wrong.

The biggest problem was that the script was a giant wooden thing, a palisade of long, dry explication read directly from cue cards placed at an uncomfortable distance. Actors that had done Shakespeare in the park were reading lists of invasion statistics like they were at a congressional hearing. The primitive greenscreen techniques may have been the bees knees at the time, but look like a high school performance today. They had talent, money, knowledge, resources and it was a bust.
 
Battleship, hands down. :rolleyes:

I do like the projectiles fired by the alien ships are the same shape as the pins used in the board game. :)


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I can’t bring myself to watch movies about Iraq or Afghanistan, but I’ve heard from people who have watched it that “The Outpost” is quite realistic. DW said it gave her flashbacks.
Otherwise I agree.
Actually, some of the best war movies I’ve seen have little action, such as “12 O’clock High”, or “The Best Years of our Lives”.
 
I can’t bring myself to watch movies about Iraq or Afghanistan, but I’ve heard from people who have watched it that “The Outpost” is quite realistic. DW said it gave her flashbacks.
Otherwise I agree.
Actually, some of the best war movies I’ve seen have little action, such as “12 O’clock High”, or “The Best Years of our Lives”.
I hear you, brother, about watching Iraq/Afghan movies. I don't know which ones I hate more: the ones that are totally unrealistic or the ones that have realism. I can watch other movies like WW2 or Vietnam, probably because I'm far enough removed.

I agree 100% that 12OH and TBYOOLs are absolute classics! We actually use 12OH in a class where I teach.
 
I hear you, brother, about watching Iraq/Afghan movies. I don't know which ones I hate more: the ones that are totally unrealistic or the ones that have realism. I can watch other movies like WW2 or Vietnam, probably because I'm far enough removed.

I agree 100% that 12OH and TBYOOLs are absolute classics! We actually use 12OH in a class where I teach.
My father had the same issue. He couldn’t watch WWII movies. Exceptions were those that were very detached from his experience, such as “Kelly’s Hero’s” and “Where Eagles Dare”. They were so unrealistic he had no connection to them so he could enjoy them.
 
when it opened they had medical people in the theaters near me at least for,people that were over come . And they needed at least some of them. Overwrought overcome people.

in the first few opening scenes I started to sweat . Especially the first 10-15 minutes it felt like being back on the ground.

Platoon. Yes a lot of it got out of hand and far to much Oliver stone but they captured the jungle really well.

So I bet platoon makes the best of and worst of lists

(Off topic I realize) The single best most honest look at ground combat virtually perfect——-HBOs The Pacific.

As far as the best for the air war as mentioned above ——-12 o’clock high.
 
As to We Were Soldiers, I've heard a few people say the actual Basil Plumley was even more intimidating than Elliott portrayed...
 
I am doing a 20 page, yearlong paper on religion's representation in WW1 and WW2 war films since 1950 over the years, and I have to say there is a stark difference in quality between some of the newer films (ahem...Flyboys, 2006) and some old war movies such as Johnny Got His Gun, 1971. That movie had me in tears multiple times...
 
So, Moore and Plumbly hung around the Infantry School when I attended different schools giving me multiple exposures and chances to form opinions/impressions.

IMHO, Mel Gibson nailed Moore. Plumber was not as gruff as his character. It was not captured well in the movie but it was obvious that Plumbly loved the Army and all the Soldiers.

The final combat scene was fiction but the rest of the movie captured the feel of experience, IMHO.
 
I’m adding to this, one we found last night, channel surfing. And I add it somewhat tongue-in-cheek, bc it ‘kinda sorta’ is an ‘almost’ war movie. But it certainly hits the ‘bad’ requirement. Although we actually enjoyed it. Not sure why…..🤔

Anyone seen it??

The Final Countdown


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Apparently the Navy sponsored the release of the movie and tried to use it as a recruiting tool.

 
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Not a war movie, but who has seen Annapolis (2006) with James Franco? Not that good (USNA actually read the script and would not let them film on the Yard as a result) and it is almost too cringy/comically Hollywood-esque to sit through if you are relatively familiar with the Academy. The CHINFO actually released a statement that personnel should avoid appearing to support the film and to not wear their uniform to go see it.
 
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Not a war movie, but who has seen Annapolis (2006) with James Franco? Not that good (USNA actually read the script and would not let them film on the Yard as a result) and it is almost too cringy/comically Hollywood-esque to sit through if you are relatively familiar with the Academy. The CHINFO actually released a statement that personnel should avoid appearing to support the film and to not wear their uniform to go see it.
I saw it.

I liked it.

I must like cheesy B-type movies.

Admittedly, it’s the setting and back stories,I guess. Annapolis and ‘USNA’ for Annapolis. And the Nimitz for The Final Countdown. Both were the stars of their respective movies, for me.
 
I’m adding to this, one we found last night, channel surfing. And I add it somewhat tongue-in-cheek, bc it ‘kinda sorta’ is an ‘almost’ war movie. But it certainly hits the ‘bad’ requirement. Although we actually enjoyed it. Not sure why…..🤔

Anyone seen it??

The Final Countdown


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Apparently the Navy sponsored the release of the movie and tried to use it as a recruiting tool.

I loved it as a kid when it came on. It was a network TV movie back when they did those.

edit, guess it wasnt, but it felt like one :)
 
I loved it as a kid when it came on. It was a network TV movie back when they did those.

edit, guess it wasnt, but it felt like one :)
It’s interesting how one’s perspective changes, over the years.

If nothing else, it’s funny how amazing something was back in the day. And not so much anymore 😂
 
DS is coming home tonight from college. Got about 36 hours with him before he heads out to Air assault. We are doing a movie marathon and popcorn.
 
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