C/O '26 parents - place to commiserate and share. Roller coaster for the next 3 years!

LA rockymnt hi said:
Mid didn’t come home for the 3rd Thanksgiving. 😢 And definitely won’t be home next Thanksgiving either. This mom doesn’t like this part of the military so much. 😉
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My parents visited me in Spain, Italy, San Francisco, San Diego, Long Beach, Monterey, Pearl Harbor, Norfolk, Annapolis. We made new traditions. They got to see where I worked and met work friends. They got to tour the public part of the Pope’s Summer Palace! They loved Friendsgiving with assorted stray cats and dogs and a crazed array of regional favorites. And our Elf Parties. I loathed doing Christmas tree and indoor/outdoor decorations all by myself, so the weekend after Thanksgiving, we invited all the single JOs we knew, faith group not an issue, and got out all the storage boxes. I cooked a killer restaurant-grade holiday meal, with plenty of desserts and take-home treats. What used to take 2-3 days of labor got done in just a few hours, including re-stowing of storage boxes and meal clean-up. The ones not going anywhere for the holidays got to enjoy something they may have missed, and the ones going home late got to be in on preps. The point was to be family where you were, and make it good, and mix up and share traditions, family stories (what family does not have them, good, bad and awful?!?!), faith practices, sea stories. We continued Elf Party traditions with USNA mids. I had to scale the food differently…
 
LA rockymnt hi said:
Mid didn’t come home for the 3rd Thanksgiving. 😢 And definitely won’t be home next Thanksgiving either. This mom doesn’t like this part of the military so much. 😉
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Agree with Capt MJ. I know this transition is tough as families find new norms, but there will be some great memories ahead. But I can tell you running stairs to ‘earn’ Thanksgiving dinner was not fun either.
 
Capt MJ said:
My parents visited me in Spain, Italy, San Francisco, San Diego, Long Beach, Monterey, Pearl Harbor, Norfolk, Annapolis. We made new traditions. They got to see where I worked and met work friends.
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Love the idea of new traditions. This year, celebrating on Topsail Island, not far from DD's Camp Lejeune home. Already thinking of the likelihood that next year we'll celebrate wherever DS calls home while at Army MOS school. The locations are different. The meal stays the same. And no matter what, memories to cherish.
 
LA rockymnt hi said:
Mid didn’t come home for the 3rd Thanksgiving. 😢 And definitely won’t be home next Thanksgiving either. This mom doesn’t like this part of the military so much. 😉
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This is me. All Thanksgivings DS has been away and will continue to be away. He is hard to reach and is stressed. Luckily he has a good time with my cousins in the DC area each year. I knew my kids would leave home around 18, but the military does make a difference in terms of ability to spend time with them. Guess I'm growing up as a parent too. :sadwavey:
 
Parent1stTimer said:
This is me. All Thanksgivings DS has been away and will continue to be away. He is hard to reach and is stressed. Luckily he has a good time with my cousins in the DC area each year. I knew my kids would leave home around 18, but the military does make a difference in terms of ability to spend time with them. Guess I'm growing up as a parent too. :sadwavey:
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You are shifting from Active Parent-Coach to On-Call Life Consultant.
 
Hello All. Simply put, my youngster (2027) is really struggling this year and seems to be ready to NOT sign his 2 for 7 when the time comes in August. I’ve noticed a very negative tone this school year and his recurring theme is “he feels it’s very cut-throat, not very nice people, and it’s really not a family atmosphere.” This is very out of character for him but he seems to have made up his mind. I welcome any advice or coaching.
 
NomSeeker said:
Hello All. Simply put, my youngster (2027) is really struggling this year and seems to be ready to NOT sign his 2 for 7 when the time comes in August. I’ve noticed a very negative tone this school year and his recurring theme is “he feels it’s very cut-throat, not very nice people, and it’s really not a family atmosphere.” This is very out of character for him but he seems to have made up his mind. I welcome any advice or coaching.
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One of my son's Plebe year roommates went through this. He did end up leaving, attended a university, and is now doing well and is very happy.

I'm not sure about your background, but I was not in the military, let alone a Midshipman. This made it very difficult for me to give any academy-related advice to my son. All I could do was listen, make sure he spoke to the right people, and give constant support. I think that's really all we can do as parents.

My son enjoyed USNA; his old roommate did not. It's really not for everybody and sometimes they need to experience it before realizing this. Just be sure that your son takes advantage of every support system and is absolutely sure before making such a life-changing decision.
 
brewmeist said:
One of my son's Plebe year roommates went through this. He did end up leaving, attended a university, and is now doing well and is very happy.

I'm not sure about your background, but I was not in the military, let alone a Midshipman. This made it very difficult for me to give any academy-related advice to my son. All I could do was listen, make sure he spoke to the right people, and give constant support. I think that's really all we can do as parents.

My son enjoyed USNA; his old roommate did not. It's really not for everybody and sometimes they need to experience it before realizing this. Just be sure that your son takes advantage of every support system and is absolutely sure before making such a life-changing decision.
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Brew, thank you very much. Are there specific resources to whom I should direct him? I don’t know the first thing about the midshipman resource process, etc.
 
NomSeeker said:
Hello All. Simply put, my youngster (2027) is really struggling this year and seems to be ready to NOT sign his 2 for 7 when the time comes in August. I’ve noticed a very negative tone this school year and his recurring theme is “he feels it’s very cut-throat, not very nice people, and it’s really not a family atmosphere.” This is very out of character for him but he seems to have made up his mind. I welcome any advice or coaching.
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Observe what he does, not what he says.

Sometimes vocalizing out loud helps mids work through a momentous decision. You are a safe place to do that. If he actively researches other schools and scholarships, applies, and starts the process of separating, with actual dates and plans, with a definite goal of moving toward something specific and not running away from USNA, then it may well happen.

Thee is also Youngster Slump. The academics are getting harder, they are still not halfway through the dang place, they still feel a bit like plebes with just a few more privileges, they aren’t in a position like the 2/C or 1/C yet to feel like they can influence anything in their company, exams are looming, Dark Ages are looming, and they are struggling to Remember Their Why that they expressed so confidently in applications and nom essays and interviews what seems ages ago.

Your role is to reflect back and ask open-ended questions. He will figure it out, as thousands and thousands before him have.

Usually something helps them turn the corner. Logically he knows there is no more cut-throatedness, not nice people or lack of family feeling than anywhere else, and he plays a large role in solving that himself.

Wait it out. At appropriate intervals, in a neutral tone, if he seems determined, ask him what he can share about his plans going forward for his education and supporting himself. Ask him if he needs you to just listen, solve or work on solutions together.
 
NomSeeker said:
Hello All. Simply put, my youngster (2027) is really struggling this year and seems to be ready to NOT sign his 2 for 7 when the time comes in August. I’ve noticed a very negative tone this school year and his recurring theme is “he feels it’s very cut-throat, not very nice people, and it’s really not a family atmosphere.” This is very out of character for him but he seems to have made up his mind. I welcome any advice or coaching.
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Ma'am/sir, I am responding as a youngster, fellow C/O '27. I totally get where your DS is right now. I think from the outside, USNA looks all bright and shiny, but on the inside we have our share of cynical leaders who sometimes pull really petty BS seemingly only because they can. It is also slog time of the semester with about a week of classes left then finals and oh BTW interrupted by Army-Navy. My contributions are these things: a mate or two who really listens and asks good questions, so not just "yeah man I feel you this place SUCKS" (<--true BTW). Second, the chaplains, who ask excellent questions, validate how people feel instead of trying to talk them out of it, and importantly, help us make concrete plans. Like, if your DS really does separate, he should start planning NOW with applications to college for transfer. And third, CoC. Not mid chain, if he's not getting any support from those folks or feels that way - his CO and SEL. Or even a trusted officer or SEL anywhere on the Yard. Best to your DS and you.
 
PlebeNoMore27 said:
Ma'am/sir, I am responding as a youngster, fellow C/O '27. I totally get where your DS is right now. I think from the outside, USNA looks all bright and shiny, but on the inside we have our share of cynical leaders who sometimes pull really petty BS seemingly only because they can. It is also slog time of the semester with about a week of classes left then finals and oh BTW interrupted by Army-Navy. My contributions are these things: a mate or two who really listens and asks good questions, so not just "yeah man I feel you this place SUCKS" (<--true BTW). Second, the chaplains, who ask excellent questions, validate how people feel instead of trying to talk them out of it, and importantly, help us make concrete plans. Like, if your DS really does separate, he should start planning NOW with applications to college for transfer. And third, CoC. Not mid chain, if he's not getting any support from those folks or feels that way - his CO and SEL. Or even a trusted officer or SEL anywhere on the Yard. Best to your DS and you.
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Wow, I didn’t realize they had 47 year old youngsters..:-). Incredibly Good stuff and thank you.
 
3/C year can be a struggle for many Mids. It’s hard to explain. It’s not Plebe Year and you have freedom, but it’s a year of growth in different ways. You start to question things more. And I think that is good. You don’t have a massive leadership role. Some struggle with the in between phase that 3/C year is.

I would have him find Mids who struggled to sign their 2 for 7 and talk about why they did and what drove them to sign. Not sure about the Brigade today, but we had a few Mids that left USNA and then came back. If there is anyone who has done that, find them! They will have a great view. Chaplains also are great as they talk to tons of Mids struggling with this. MDC is also a great resource to talk out loud and have a sounding board.
 
NavyHoops said:
3/C year can be a struggle for many Mids. It’s hard to explain. It’s not Plebe Year and you have freedom, but it’s a year of growth in different ways. You start to question things more. And I think that is good. You don’t have a massive leadership role. Some struggle with the in between phase that 3/C year is.

I would have him find Mids who struggled to sign their 2 for 7 and talk about why they did and what drove them to sign. Not sure about the Brigade today, but we had a few Mids that left USNA and then came back. If there is anyone who has done that, find them! They will have a great view. Chaplains also are great as they talk to tons of Mids struggling with this. MDC is also a great resource to talk out loud and have a sounding board.
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Thank you Hoops..
 
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