Casualty of war

bruno

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A very poignant reminder of the stresses and costs of war on those who have served.

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/casualty-of-war-20120917-2612i.html#ixzz27LrUo0mS


Major General John Cantwell fought in Iraq in 1991 and again in 2006. In 2010 he commanded the Australian troops in Afghanistan. Upon his return, he was in the running to be the Chief of Army – instead, he found himself in a psychiatric ward.
...Released from responsibility, it is as though a dam in my mind has cracked, flooding me with despair. The barriers I built and shored up over the years, especially over the past 12 months, start to shift and buckle, releasing a pent-up misery.

The sadness and regret that I had pushed deep down inside resurface, amplified. Memories flood my mind: cold bodies in a morgue, torsos violated by bullets or explosives or a shattered helicopter; the pain and uncertainty of the wounded whose lives have been forever changed; the horror in the eyes of men who have picked up pieces of their mates. My nights are tormented by ghastly nightmares, punctuated by sudden shouts as I come awake, shaking and confused. The melancholy that has lurked in my heart begins to tear at my sanity....

...I have seen the world and met countless amazing people; I have had the thrill of command and the satisfaction of success; I have been humbled and uplifted by guileless young warriors; I have been trusted and have trusted others with my life; I have walked with heroes, and count them as friends; I have had adventures you can't pay for and rewards you can't buy.

I would not change my career, but I know it's come at a cost. One day I might accept I am wounded, but the memory of the physically ruined men I once commanded is too raw to allow that yet. What I do know is this: I have been a soldier; I have served my country; I am proud of what I have accomplished; I have endured hardship, trauma, pain and loss; I have done so voluntarily; I am not a victim, I am a survivor.
 
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We cannot honor these men and women enough. They must always be remembered and prayed for even when you see no physical injury.
 
TPG- I PM'd you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and with all of those brothers in arms who are dealing with the aftermath of war. You- and all of them- are my heroes. 2Tim4:7 sums up your lives: "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith". Hang in there and keep the faith!
Bruno
 
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tpg,

There are many of us who admire you for your courage, perseverance and intelligence.

That being said, some people will do almost anything to get out of a 5k run.
 
TPG, take a breath, you can get the help you need.
You are surrounded by your love ones and all your brother and sister Vets.
One day at a time,one step at a time.
 
Bruno-

It is ironic that I came here tonight and stumbled upon this article that you have posted. It is ironic because I left the mental health ward at Bethesda (WRNMMC) today after a 24 day stay.

It seems that they have diagnosed me with "Acute PTSD" from my time in military service as a result of "stressful" events.

While some will not find the humor, I know others will when I say that I asked the Doctor "So which stressful event caused this to happen?"

I told my dear wife that it is disheartening to see what I am becoming after almost 30 years as a Marine. I used to be so strong mentally. Now I am not too sure.
Once again you are showing your courage by talking about what so many find difficult to share.. You are in our prayers as well
 
Bruno-

It is ironic that I came here tonight and stumbled upon this article that you have posted. It is ironic because I left the mental health ward at Bethesda (WRNMMC) today after a 24 day stay.

It seems that they have diagnosed me with "Acute PTSD" from my time in military service as a result of "stressful" events.

While some will not find the humor, I know others will when I say that I asked the Doctor "So which stressful event caused this to happen?"

I told my dear wife that it is disheartening to see what I am becoming after almost 30 years as a Marine. I used to be so strong mentally. Now I am not too sure.

Welcome back TPG!

I am glad to hear that you recognized and have gotten help for a condition that affects far too many of our vets. You set a good example for our other returning vets as a tough Marine who isn't too hard-headed to fix the things that need fixing.

And now get back to posting. There are plenty of young folks here who benefit from your wisdom and experience.
 
Bruno-

It is ironic that I came here tonight and stumbled upon this article that you have posted. It is ironic because I left the mental health ward at Bethesda (WRNMMC) today after a 24 day stay.

It seems that they have diagnosed me with "Acute PTSD" from my time in military service as a result of "stressful" events.

While some will not find the humor, I know others will when I say that I asked the Doctor "So which stressful event caused this to happen?"

I told my dear wife that it is disheartening to see what I am becoming after almost 30 years as a Marine. I used to be so strong mentally. Now I am not too sure.

Best wishes to you TPG. You have a lot of supporters here. You are not alone.

God Bless
 
Bruno-

It is ironic that I came here tonight and stumbled upon this article that you have posted. It is ironic because I left the mental health ward at Bethesda (WRNMMC) today after a 24 day stay.

It seems that they have diagnosed me with "Acute PTSD" from my time in military service as a result of "stressful" events.

While some will not find the humor, I know others will when I say that I asked the Doctor "So which stressful event caused this to happen?"

I told my dear wife that it is disheartening to see what I am becoming after almost 30 years as a Marine. I used to be so strong mentally. Now I am not too sure.

Sir, anyone who gets help for that is not weak, and while I can understand while you feel that way, know that you have an army (or Corps, in your case :smile:) supporting you.
 
Bruno-

It is ironic that I came here tonight and stumbled upon this article that you have posted. It is ironic because I left the mental health ward at Bethesda (WRNMMC) today after a 24 day stay.

It seems that they have diagnosed me with "Acute PTSD" from my time in military service as a result of "stressful" events.

While some will not find the humor, I know others will when I say that I asked the Doctor "So which stressful event caused this to happen?"

I told my dear wife that it is disheartening to see what I am becoming after almost 30 years as a Marine. I used to be so strong mentally. Now I am not too sure.
If your question was said in good humor, I'd say you are still pretty strong mentally! Good luck in your continued healing, and please keep posting. Your advice and commentary adds immense value to this forum.
 
DD has said that Mental Health is one of the greatest concerns for returning Marines at PI after many deployments. "which stressful event after thirty years". Point to one.
 
Thank you for sharing this article. I forwarded it to my husband. He is an Active Duty psychologist. It is encouraging to see such personal sharing of this problem, especially from someone so high ranking. Hopefully it will encourage more people to pursue the help they need.
 
Bruno-

It is ironic that I came here tonight and stumbled upon this article that you have posted. It is ironic because I left the mental health ward at Bethesda (WRNMMC) today after a 24 day stay.

It seems that they have diagnosed me with "Acute PTSD" from my time in military service as a result of "stressful" events.

While some will not find the humor, I know others will when I say that I asked the Doctor "So which stressful event caused this to happen?"

I told my dear wife that it is disheartening to see what I am becoming after almost 30 years as a Marine. I used to be so strong mentally. Now I am not too sure.



It's a long road TPG, and no one thinks anyone weak for figuring out they need help. Quite the opposite, it shows strength.

Everyone here supports you, so keep getting the help you need! We're here for you buddy! :thumb:
 
For those who wished me well, I thank you. Sympathy was not my desire. My desire was to somehow help others who are afraid to seek help. I find it regrettable that I could not find the words to state that.
I thought you said it well...and "knowing you" as we do from here...I would say your message was received.

Steve
USAFA ALO
USAFA '83
 
Thanks for sharing your story. I think by having Marines like you share you story it encourages others to reach out for help. Best of luck!
 
Sympathy was never considered. Gratitude, thanks and prayers were.
 
My friend TPG- you have plenty of company in fighting this wound. What you are going thru has been a burden that Warriors have endured for thousands of years. Consider this description from the Bible- does it sound familiar?
Jeremiah 4:
19Oh, my anguish, my anguish!
I writhe in pain.
Oh, the agony of my heart!
My heart pounds within me,
I cannot keep silent.
For I have heard the sound of the trumpet;
I have heard the battle cry.
20Disaster follows disaster;
the whole land lies in ruins.
In an instant my tents are destroyed,
my shelter in a moment.
21How long must I see the battle standard
and hear the sound of the trumpet?

An acquaintance from VMI described it this way a couple of years ago in a speech at Harvard :

"While a whole generation went ganging after its own indulgence, vanity, appetite, you clung to a foolish commitment, to foolish old traditions; as soldiers, sailors, pilots, Marines you honored pointless ritual, suffered the endless, sluggish monotony of duty, raised that flag not just once, or again, or -- as has become fashionable now -- in time of peril, but every single morning. You stuck it out. You may have had -- as we like to say -- the camaraderie of brothers or sisters to buck each other up or the dubious support (as we like to say... and say more than do, by the way) of the folks back home, us... but in the end you persevered alone. Just as alone you made that long walk from Out There with a duffle bag fulla pixelated, random computer-generated dirty laundry -- along with your bruised dreams, your ecstasy and your despair -- Back Here at tour's end.

And you will be alone, for all the good intentions and solicitude of them, the other, the civilians. Alone. But...together. Your generation, whom us dumbo civilians couldn't keep out of war, will bear the burden of soldier's return... alone. And a fresh duty: to complete the lives of your buddies who didn't make it back, to confect for them a living monument to their memory. Your comfort, such as it is, will come from the knowledge that others of that tiny fraction of the population that fought for us are alone but grappling with the same dilemmas -- often small and immediate, often undignified or humiliating, now and then immense and overwhelming -- by your persistence courting the risk, by your obstinacy clinging to that Hard Way. Some of you will be stronger than others, but even the strong ones will have their darker moments".
http://ricks.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2010/09/03/the_enduring_solitude_of_combat_vets


Hang in there my friend, keep the faith, and Thank you.
 
tpg, much respect for your bravery. i wish you good health. thank you for your service.
 
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