Is one color better than an another color; is a Bierstadt better than a Renoir? You are going to find many passionate alumni of each of those institutions who are justly proud of their respective institutions. You can also find alumni of the federal academies, other senior military colleges (SMCs), and other Reserve Officer Training Corps (ROTC) programs at more traditional colleges and universities who are similar proud of their respective institutions. You've received great advice, try to visit both institutions. I've known men who went to The Citadel and men who went to VMI and each are all great individuals. I'm glad Kinnem is reviewing the posts and will, presumably, will close the thread if it becomes snarky. My son's best friend from high school is at VMI as a sophomore and it is great fit for him. Another of our son's Scouts friend is at Norwich as a sophomore and it is great fit for him. We've had Scouts from our troop at all of the federal academies and they report having had a great education. We've had Scouts go the ROTC route at various colleges and they were happy there. My kids are both at a different SMC, and they've been happy at their school. There are similarities between VMI and The Citadel, and some differences too; as there are between all of the SMCs. Can you get into one or the other, or both, or other schools? Can you afford the schools if you don't get a ROTC scholarship? Are the majors what you want, are the study abroad opportunities what you want, how hard will it be to get home for Thanksgiving (believe me, as a parent paying for quickie Thanksgiving trips home for kids well over a thousand miles from home when they'll be back for a month in just a couple of weeks - it's something to think about)?
Bottom line, at the risk of sounding like an out-of-touch parent; it's a question that can't be answered, and on some level, ... , well, never mind; I couldn't figure out a way to write what I wanted to write without being jerk; so we'll leave it as being a question that can't be answered; one that isn't amenable to an arithmetically correct answer - as in one answer is right (2+2=4) and all other answers (2+2 = Orange, Orangutan, 17, Internal Combustion Engine, etc.) are wrong. In other words if you do your homework and research the sundry institutions, it'll turn out fine wherever you end up. Good luck and best wishes.