Couples - how to get same housing after graduation?

[toby]

Hello all,

What's the process involved to request (if even possible) same housing/base after graduation with your significant other? I've heard of this being done year after year. A quick Google search doesn't reveal much...

 

[Pima]

Not to divert the thread, but you made me chuckle....same housing!

I will let others now answer about how to get a joint assignment aka theater.

OBTW, I am hoping when you mean significant other you mean soon to be spouse, because unless something has significantly changed the only way that I know is a priority in assignments is if you are married. Even than they only promise the same theater, and not the same base.

 

[kp2001]

The only way to get consideration for colocation (meaning same geographic area) is to be married. Girlfriend/Fiance/etc doesn't count. Once married one needs to make sure the marriage is in DEERS and the Service may require a request for colocation be routed (Navy does by regulation, but not sure on Air Force).

Even with colocation request it doesn't guarantee spouses will be stationed near each other as it's all "needs of the Service."

 

[xray328]

Be prepared to hurry up and wait. It took my wife 5 months to get shipped from Andrews to Travis.

 

[Capt MJ]

All the Services have a generally similar policy. Co-location cannot be guaranteed and is subject to "needs of the (Service). " Marriage and proper documentation in DEERS is a pre-requisite prior to discussing orders. Not "gonna get married next year." That said, understanding this is a QOL issue, I found from my own Navy experience, and our USNA sponsor sons and daughters have more recently found, that detailers/monitors/assignment people can be sympathetic, as long as flexibility was shown. My husband and I were happy to get the same coast at times. Several times we took tours well apart, but we were able to handle that, with commitment to daily marriage maintenance.

There are also choices to be made: same base, but one member takes a more lateral, non-career-progressive assignment, essentially following the other, with an understanding this may impact promotability and key assignments later on. That takes open communications and complete buy-in, so the issue doesn't surface later in an ugly argument.

We had some fun "hot dates" in various cities, where each of us would fly in, and we would explore a new city together and refresh the relationship with new experiences.

Different solutions for different people. We just passed our 33rd anniversary, and joke we actually have spent maybe 20 actual years in the same household. My husband jokes it "feels like 433," which he updates every year. I smile benignly.

 

[dohdean]

Not sure how relevant our experience will be -- but can't help but give this anecdotal response. My daughter and her fiance, both First Lieutenants (2013 USAFA graduates), are engaged to be married next week. This is a very exciting time and event for both families! She is a Finance Officer, stationed at Dover AFB in Dover, Delaware and he is a pilot stationed at Hurlburt AFB in Florida. As soon as their engagement was announced, she began exploring possibilities for joint spouse status and getting an assignment closer to his base (as she would need to move from Dover next year anyway). At the end of last week, she was offered three opportunities (none, unfortunately, at Hurlburt). She and her fiance have decided to go with the assignment that holds the most interest for her and which is the best for her career at this point. That assignment will be at Keesler AFB in Mississippi, starting in January. This puts them about 2.5 hours apart by car -- much better than the current distance which requires two plane rides in each direction, a commute that they have been making at least monthly for the past 18 months.

They are prepared for at least a year, and maybe much longer, of continued commuting. They are also committed to making their marriage work (with the support of their commanders/colleagues, their families and their friends). It's an interesting life for parents like us who are not military in background but I believe they will do everything possible to make their careers and their marriage successful.

I hope and pray that they show the resiliance and fortitude of others who have posted above.

 

[fencersmother]

My son was at Del Rio, his fiance at Dyess. They married. The day they got home from their honeymoon, he moved to Little Rock, I believe about a six hour drive (maybe 5?). Every three weeks, they met - sometimes in Dallas, sometimes in Little Rock, ONCE, he went to the house they'd bought in which he had spent only one night, the night they returned home from their honeymoon. They are both at Dyess now, but , as luck would have it, he's probably going to be away... FOR THE BIRTH OF THEIR BABY. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Capt MJ]

Fencersmother's story brought back a memory of an experience that tested us from the get go.
Married in September, me stationed in Naples, IT, and him in Norfolk, VA, after dating trans-Atlantic for 2 years. A year's worth of planning and negotiating got us excellent orders, me to shore duty Monterey, CA, him to a ship in then-NAS Alameda, CA, both detaching in Dec and reporting in Jan, 30 days leave authorized. Yay. 109 miles Alameda-Monterey, doable. He detaches from ship in Med, joins me in Naples, and we pack up my place and get ready to execute car shipment, household goods moves, pick up his car in Norfolk and execute yet another XC drive from Norfolk to Bay area. My last day at Naples office, received a message for him, dreaded words "ORDMOD." He is now going to a ship in San Diego, report in Dec, deploying first week of January, 9 month cruise. 439 miles between SD and Monterey, all household plans scrapped, holy crap. Mad change of various logistics plans, XC pared down to no en route friends and family stops, and that was our first year of dual military couple life. And - no email, Skype or texting... some of you may remember the old trick of numbering letters on the envelope so when the irregular mail drops at sea occurred via FPO (fleet post office), news unfolded in a way that made sense. Ah yes, 20th C. sea stories.

 

[flieger83]

Wife and I were based in two different states: but we were less than 600 miles apart so "they" considered it almost joint spouse.

Then we were half a nation away...for about a year...then we finally got together...only to deploy three months later for 6 months...

Ahh...the fun of it all!!

Steve
USAFA ALO
USAFA '83

 

[toby]

Thank you all for the responses.

The common theme here seems to be that one has to be married for any consideration:

The only way to get consideration for colocation (meaning same geographic area) is to be married. Girlfriend/Fiance/etc doesn't count.
"

Marriage and proper documentation in DEERS is a pre-requisite prior to discussing orders. Not "gonna get married next year."

Here's my current train of thought:

-USAFA cadets can't be married while a cadet.
-Base assignments come out while they're cadets.
-Cadets gets engaged during their cadet careers, sometimes to another cadet.
-They'll want to live together after graduation.
-Can't do so because they can't get married.

^ Is there no 'alternative' to this?

Capt MJ brought up a point:

I found from my own Navy experience, and our USNA sponsor sons and daughters have more recently found, that detailers/monitors/assignment people can be sympathetic, as long as flexibility was shown.

Who would be the person to go to for this for Air Force, specifically USAFA? No guarantee is a given, but is there an option to indicate "intent to marry" to increase chances of being assigned to the same base right out of graduation?

 

[greentrees]

Toby -
talk to your AOC and also currently engaged Firsties
I know in 2013 there were some engaged Firsties that worked their assignments by listing preferences in certain order to have a higher probability of getting close assignments.
I know USMA does something in the assignment process for engaged couples.

(I will say back in the 80's ROTC worked with my DH & me when we were engaged -- but he had graduated a year ahead of me and was already on AD - of course in the 80's there were tons more people in the AF so delaying my non-techy assignment 6 months out of ROTC wasn't a big deal then)

good luck!

 

[fencersmother]

As I recall, from 2012, there were a number of cadets who married w/in 60 days of graduation and the AF did a good job of pairing them, either at the same base, or near-by base (yeah, like 600 miles is just around the corner). It is different if you are not MARRIED (fencersmother strongly encourages this. ), or if you graduate in different years, or if you are piloting different airframes, or if....

Just quit asking us, and start asking people who can help you directly. As greentrees suggests, start with your AOC