Dad Joke thread (everybody welcome)

[Rach3]

 

[Rach3]

 

[THParent]

Last night I dreamed I was swimming in orange soda.

It turned out to be a Fanta sea.

 

[justdoit19]

Our younger readers may not get this 😬

 

[FalconDad2026]

What's invisible and smells like worms?

Fish farts

My boys loved that one for years.

 

[Gaffer]

I made this joke in school the other day and everyone face palmed haha. I think that qualifies as a dad joke
What do people call the quickest tailor in their town?

Tailor Swift

 

[puzzler]

I heard they’re not making rulers any longer.

 

[Rach3]

 

[THParent]

How do you think the unthinkable?


With an eythberg!

 

[THParent]

I went to a sweater store the other day to make a purchase. The cashier swiped my Visa and gave it back to me.

When it didn't go through...

(wait for it)
















The cashier asked for my cardigan.

 

[Gaffer]

I was pretty proud of this one, made it up in English Lang and Composition for context

What is a monkey's favorite type of rhetorical appeal to use?



banana peels

 

[Rach3]

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren't a robot.

 

[Rach3]

Last night the internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

 

[NJROTC-CC]

I went to McDonalds and ate a kid’s meal. His parents weren’t happy about that.

 

[Gaffer]

What has five toes but isn't your foot?
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My foot.

 

[ProudDad17]

I decided to get some exercise the other night, so I went for a bike ride. I passed a liquor store on my ride and decided to stop and get a bottle of whiskey to reward myself for exercising. I got back out to my bike with my whiskey, but then I was worried it might break in my basket before I got home. I decided to drink the bottle before riding home. Good thing I did, because I fell five times on my way home.

 

[Old Enlisted Marine]

SO........ Daffy duck and Elmer Fudd break into a distillery. Daffy turns to Elmer and says: "Is this Whiskey?"

Emer says: Yeah but not as Whiskey as wobbing a bank!"

 

[Rach3]

 

[Gaffer]

Whats the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing.

 

[USMC8993]

Who's in charge of CORNY jokes?

The COLONEL of course!