Dad Joke thread (everybody welcome)

[Devil Doc]

Did you hear about the man who dropped a case of beer on his toddler?

Don’t worry. It was light beer.

 

[Twins4us]

Why are the called buildings? Aren't they finished?

On that note, Gallagher once queried "Why are they called apartments when they are all smashed together?"
Loved watching that guy.

 

[THParent]

 

[Twins4us]

What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.

 

[StPaulDad]

What's red and black and crushes rocks?
A red and black rock crusher.

What's big and red and will kill you if it falls out of a tree on you?
A firetruck.

 

[StPaulDad]

What's the dumbest animal in the Amazon?
A polar bear.

Why can't tyrannosaurus rex clap?
They're extinct.

What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

 

[Capt MJ]

What's the dumbest animal in the Amazon?
A polar bear.

Why can't tyrannosaurus rex clap?
They're extinct.

What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

These are deliciously awful.

 

[kinnem]

Why do elephants paint their eyes red?

To hide in cherry trees.

Ever seen an elephant hide in a cherry tree? No?

Good hiders aren't they.

 

[Capt MJ]

Why do cows wear bells?
Their horns don’t work.

I added flare to mine by using the Spoiler widget.

 

[Twins4us]

King Kong fractured his leg during the shooting of his new movie.
I can't remember the name of the movie but it has a big cast.

 

[StPaulDad]

What's the best thing about Switzerland?​

I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.

 

[MidCakePa]

I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.

Having lived in Switzerland, I’d rather not take sides on whether this is funny or not.

 

[MidCakePa]

Having lived in Switzerland, I’d rather not take sides on whether this is funny or not.

While there, my car had a manual transmission. I always had trouble getting it out of neutral!

 

[Sciencnerd]

I saw a carnival when I was heading down to the beach. When I got back it was all packed up. No fair.

 

[StPaulDad]

Looking over the boat names above, Unsinkable II is simply brilliant. Even if I never owned a first boat, maybe especially so, I'd love to steal that.

 

[Devil Doc]

I’ve put this one here somewhere—cannot remember.

Did you hear about the kamikaze pilot who flew 36 missions?

 

[THParent]

I went to a restaurant last night with my wife. The place had an odd mix of Russian and Chinese cuisine.

Spoiler

The food was quite good but less than an hour later, we were both HUNGRY FOR POWER !

 

[Devil Doc]

I went to a restaurant last night with my wife. The place had an odd mix of Russian and Chinese cuisine.

Spoiler

The food was quite good but less than an hour later, we were both HUNGRY FOR POWER !

At least your pipelines are intact and prospering nicely.

 

[unkown1961]

I told my kids that this article is leading me to change the wifi netwrok name to "5G Covid Vaccine Assessment Tower MS#345"

Anti-vaxxer tells Ohio lawmakers COVID-19 vaccine can leave people magnetized, interfaced with 5G towers​

 

[Sciencnerd]

When does a joke become a “dad” joke?

When the punchline is a parent.