Doubts about attending a Service Academy over civilian school

sonar

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Oct 2, 2022
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Hello. I come here to ask for reassurance in my decision-making process as I look toward my future. I have received an appointment from USMA, and I currently have presidential and congressional nominations (VA-11) to USNA. In my heart, the academies seem to excite me when I think about them and I could very well see myself at one. My dad is a retired marine aviator and officer after 22 years, so my family and I are familiar with the lifestyle. The amazing benefits you receive from a service academy are endless such as job security, a top-level education for no money, great leadership, camaraderie, and much much more. All of these make me more attracted to attending an SA. I also think that the way you have your schedule strictly cut out for you and those types of things would make me prefer a SA over a civilian college. I visited both West Point and Annapolis and enjoyed my visits very much, however, I am a bit concerned that once I actually arrive for R-day or I-day, I am going to not feel the same way I did on my visits now that I would actually be thrown right into it. I think I would adjust quickly and begin to enjoy it after a while, but I am worried that I may not. The only other school I would attend if it were not a service academy would be Virginia Tech. I like their engineering program very much. I also understand that I have 2 years at an academy which I can leave and go to a civilian school. As you have read this you are probably thinking that by the way I am writing, it seems I have made up my mind on whether I want to attend a SA or Civilian school, and you would be right for the most part. I come here to search for any similar experiences, worries, or thoughts anyone has had. I do so because deep down I feel that I want to attend a SA, but I want to find reassurance here so that I can crush any doubts or worries in my mind so that I can feel 100% committed and certain about my decision to attend a SA. Thank
you very much.
 
In your heart know that this summer will stink but you will be so proud of yourself and for the rest of your life. These are tough places to be but you will learn a lot, have great adventures and be surrounded by people with whom you will have a bond that is incomparable. It is normal to have these doubts, cold feet, college and everything that comes with it is completely unknown.

You are investing in the rest of your life. Your family got you here...now seize the opportunity.

Is the back up ROTC at MIT or Harvard, Yale, Princeton or Stanford? You can have a similar call to serve from those schools and the same 'oh wow!' when you graduate from them...but you will not have the same opportunities while in school or the same tight knit bond for the rest of your life.

Remember, it is normal to have cold feet. Your life is going to change when you graduate from high school. You are going to do and be and live somewhere else...very soon. Good luck...also GO ARMY! (Do you really want to be on a ship?)

Also, the weeks and esp the night before R-Day, you will be filled w/ fear and regret. The first few nights and weeks of Beast or Plebe Summer, you will be filled w/ fear and regret...this is absolutely a normal part of the process. Pick a course, stay the course. Keep faith.
 
In your heart know that this summer will stink but you will be so proud of yourself and for the rest of your life. These are tough places to be but you will learn a lot, have great adventures and be surrounded by people with whom you will have a bond that is incomparable. It is normal to have these doubts, cold feet, college and everything that comes with it is completely unknown.

You are investing in the rest of your life. Your family got you here...now seize the opportunity.

Is the back up ROTC at MIT or Harvard, Yale, Princeton or Stanford? You can have a similar call to serve from those schools and the same 'oh wow!' when you graduate from them...but you will not have the same opportunities while in school or the same tight knit bond for the rest of your life.

Remember, it is normal to have cold feet. Your life is going to change when you graduate from high school. You are going to do and be and live somewhere else...very soon. Good luck...also GO ARMY! (Do you really want to be on a ship?)

Also, the weeks and esp the night before R-Day, you will be filled w/ fear and regret. The first few nights and weeks of Beast or Plebe Summer, you will be filled w/ fear and regret...this is absolutely a normal part of the process. Pick a course, stay the course. Keep faith.
Thank you very much! This was very helpful and i appreciate you taking the time to read and respond
 
Sonar, the choice is a very personal one and what is the right choice for one person may not be right for another. That said, I was also a Marine Mustang and in USMA aviation. For years I had hoped my boys would follow me in the Corps. My middle son, now a plebe at USMA, always wanted to be in the military but looked at every service but Marines. He ended up with appointments to three academies but felt, with his interests, that USMA best fit his desires. He knew he probably would not have as much fun as a civilian college and ROTC, but his belief was then that an SA would push him to his limits and make him perform at his best — and now he is firmly convinced he made the correct decision.

Like you, he was accepted into the Corps. at VA Tech (we are also in Virginia) and he had done summer STEM, etc. at USNA. Being at USMA has higher highs and lower lows than probably at a civilian college. DS #2 (plebe at USMA) has forged friendships through shared hardship at BEAST and sacrifice. He an buddies traveled to Army vs. Air Force game in TX and Army vs. Navy in PA. Yes, there are things he does not enjoy about being at West Point but when he comes home he can’t wait to get back to his buddies at USMA. He has stronger real friendships and comradeship then he would have probably found at a civilian college and ROTC. at West Point he LOVES his professors! Small classes and everything presented in a very practical way with military applications. Professors have practical real world experiences they constantly relate as most are active military officers. There is also a constant stream of guest speakers, branch presentations, and opportunities for summer programs and schools, such as Air Assault.

This June DS#3 will join his brother at West Point. Whatever their formula is it is working for my DS#2 and enough to convince DS#3 to join him (he was a recruited athlete for both USNA and USMA but has chosen to graduate a year early to spen an extra year with his brother at USMA.) I am sure you will make the correct choice for you with guidance from your parents. I don’t think there is a “wrong” choice. Because, as you state, you can leave an SA if you find it is not for you - you have to decide if you will be confident enough with your decision to attend a civilian college - to not look back in future years and wonder If you should have tried the SA? Whatever your choice, good luck and thanks for your willingness to serve in the military! (since you posted in both USNA and USMA I replicated my post here as more appropriate)
 
Hi Sonar, I am a high school senior as well with an appointment to USMA and hopefully one to USNA, but also I don't hope I get one because I am so stretched between the two and I have no idea which one I would attend. Just remember you are not alone in this process. If you have the ability to get 2 appointments to USMA and USNA then I'm sure wherever you end up for schooling you will do just fine! Maybe someday we will meet each other at a service academy and be able to stress about our problems face to face😂
 
Hey Sonar! I was appointed to USMA CO '27 at the very beginning of January. Since then, I have had PLENTY of time to doubt my decision as I get ready for R-Day. I think it is worthwhile to note that as a senior, I applied to two colleges: a local college and West Point. Throughout the application process, I knew 100% that I wanted to attend West Point and if I did not receive an appointment, I would pursue Army ROTC and re-apply again the next year. That's how sure I was about attending USMA. Yet, after the excitement of my appointment wore off after about a week, I started having serious doubts and a couple of "what the hell am I getting myself into?" moments.

I want you to know that having doubts is completely normal, and honestly, I would probably be a bit intimidated by an incoming cadet who had zero reservations about attending an academy whatsoever. What you will go through at any academy, USMA or USNA, is designed to intimidate and test you. I have a close friend who currently is a freshman at USAFA and told me with full conviction that the first three days of his basic training he questioned every life decision he had made that brought him to the Air Force Academy. But more importantly, he told me that everything he went through was worth it, and despite his overwhelming doubts, he could not imagine himself at a civilian college, or literally anywhere else. The sense of pride he felt after finishing his basic training was a feeling he said he "never wanted to not feel again."

Personally, I will be on the other end of the country from my family and separated from my twin sister who has been pretty much my entire support system for the very first time, which has been very, very hard for me to come to terms with. As MarTac mentioned, there are going to be parts of the Academy and the lifestyle that you will not like. But what has helped me reach confidence in my decision to attend USMA is knowing that I am getting a once-in-a life time opportunity for my education, career and personal development. Yes, you can attend a civilian college to work towards both your education and career, but I would argue that there are VERY few colleges and programs in the nation that instill leadership, discipline and resiliency to the extent the academies do.

Only you can decide for yourself what will be most beneficial to you. But the point I am trying to make is that it is completely normal to have those reservations. What gets me past them is knowing that attending USMA provides you with opportunities that others can only dream of. My attitude is that if getting those opportunities means I have to endure four years of suck, bring it on! If you want to chat about it more, send me a PM!
 
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Hi Sonar, I am a high school senior as well with an appointment to USMA and hopefully one to USNA, but also I don't hope I get one because I am so stretched between the two and I have no idea which one I would attend. Just remember you are not alone in this process. If you have the ability to get 2 appointments to USMA and USNA then I'm sure wherever you end up for schooling you will do just fine! Maybe someday we will meet each other at a service academy and be able to stress about our problems face to face😂
That would be funny wouldn't it haha. Glad that other people feel the same way and good luck to you with USNA!
 
I am not a SA grad, but I have been an Army officer for over 10 years. It honestly depends on what sort of college experience you want to have. Also, do you want a full military career? Many of those who I thought would do 20 got out as soon as possible. Being a SA grad can open more military doors, but I feel like the distinction of being a SA grad fades after you have been in a few years. It's more about what YOU are doing now versus where you graduated.

It is sort of like med school, no one really asks or cares where you went after a while. I have worked with many USMA grads, some were bitter about their experience and others loved it. The subjectiveness is hard to quantify.

Personally, I wanted a college experience which is why I opted for ROTC. Even then I have regrets about not going to a big state school. You can only live that college experience once. I have gone back for multiple master's degrees and a doctorate, but it's not the same obviously.
 
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Hey man, I came across your post and it struck me so much that I wanted to make an account to give my two cents. I was appointed to USMA co2027 literally last week and was in the same exact boat as you; when I first started this journey last year, I was completely enamored with the idea of going to a service academy, and I really enjoyed SLE and thought it would cement that.

But throughout the whole process and especially near the end of my application, I kept having more and more doubts about whether or not I truly wanted it or if I would've wanted an experience at a civilian college instead. I was terrified of making the wrong decision, and even though I knew that West Point was still the place that I wanted to go to deep inside my heart, I could never shake the doubts or uncertainty off 100%. There was always that underlying feeling of dread because there's always that "What if-?" "What if I regret it?" "What if I'm miserable there?" I thought if I wasn't 100% committed and confident in my decision, I'd end up regretting it.

But you have to realize that of course we're going to be nervous about this decision, and we're probably never going to feel 100% confident no matter how hard we try to figure out all the answers because of the gravity of this decision that will end up affecting the rest of our lives. Having doubts or worries is a natural part of taking a big step in your life.

This is not to say ignore your better judgement in things, but listen to your gut. What helped me was reflecting on why I started my application and why I decided that I wanted to go to West Point in the first place. Reminding myself of my personal reasons and doing some of the same things that I did when I first started out (like training hard again before I got a little complacent, haha) helped reassure me that I knew that West Point was what I truly wanted and would be what was best for me and my goals in life.

And as for confidence, as I was realizing that over the course of several days after seriously battling with a period of the doubts and uncertainty, I was brushing my teeth before going to bed one night and then I just knew. I was thinking about it a little, not even of anything particularly important, and for whatever reason I just knew what I had to do and made my choice. It was kind of anticlimactic timing, but in that mundane moment, something just switched on in me and all of the reasons came together, and I don't remember any one thing being what convinced me. I know it sounds extremely cliche, but I haven't really had any doubts since.

Coincidentally, a few days later, I was reading a book and I came across a part that kind of explained it to me: it said something along the lines of that we all think that we have to be totally confident when making a big decision, but that sometimes the opposite is true:

Making a decision brings confidence.

And that was true for me, so I hope this might help you and it's true for you too. Do a bit of reflection on what you truly what your life and your future, what your personal reasons and motivations are. Listen to your gut, and don't be afraid to choose.
 
Hey man, I came across your post and it struck me so much that I wanted to make an account to give my two cents. I was appointed to USMA co2027 literally last week and was in the same exact boat as you; when I first started this journey last year, I was completely enamored with the idea of going to a service academy, and I really enjoyed SLE and thought it would cement that.

But throughout the whole process and especially near the end of my application, I kept having more and more doubts about whether or not I truly wanted it or if I would've wanted an experience at a civilian college instead. I was terrified of making the wrong decision, and even though I knew that West Point was still the place that I wanted to go to deep inside my heart, I could never shake the doubts or uncertainty off 100%. There was always that underlying feeling of dread because there's always that "What if-?" "What if I regret it?" "What if I'm miserable there?" I thought if I wasn't 100% committed and confident in my decision, I'd end up regretting it.

But you have to realize that of course we're going to be nervous about this decision, and we're probably never going to feel 100% confident no matter how hard we try to figure out all the answers because of the gravity of this decision that will end up affecting the rest of our lives. Having doubts or worries is a natural part of taking a big step in your life.

This is not to say ignore your better judgement in things, but listen to your gut. What helped me was reflecting on why I started my application and why I decided that I wanted to go to West Point in the first place. Reminding myself of my personal reasons and doing some of the same things that I did when I first started out (like training hard again before I got a little complacent, haha) helped reassure me that I knew that West Point was what I truly wanted and would be what was best for me and my goals in life.

And as for confidence, as I was realizing that over the course of several days after seriously battling with a period of the doubts and uncertainty, I was brushing my teeth before going to bed one night and then I just knew. I was thinking about it a little, not even of anything particularly important, and for whatever reason I just knew what I had to do and made my choice. It was kind of anticlimactic timing, but in that mundane moment, something just switched on in me and all of the reasons came together, and I don't remember any one thing being what convinced me. I know it sounds extremely cliche, but I haven't really had any doubts since.

Coincidentally, a few days later, I was reading a book and I came across a part that kind of explained it to me: it said something along the lines of that we all think that we have to be totally confident when making a big decision, but that sometimes the opposite is true:

Making a decision brings confidence.

And that was true for me, so I hope this might help you and it's true for you too. Do a bit of reflection on what you truly what your life and your future, what your personal reasons and motivations are. Listen to your gut, and don't be afraid to choose.
Wow, thank you for the response! I think you perfectly summed up my feelings and I’m extremely glad others feel the same way. I truly do think in my gut attending either USNA or USMA is the right choice, but like you said I will take some time to truly reflect and think about the big picture. Thank you again for your response !
 
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