Dyke advice

A

AnonMa

New Member
Joined
Sep 22, 2020
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VMI alumni & affiliates with direct knowledge of how things work, please advise:
My Rat and his Dyke did not successfully establish a connection. This is my Rat's fault. As I understand the situation, they have no contact.

What should he do to try to make a connection?
Should he go to the Dyke's room at a certain time of day and ask if there are chores he can do?
If he were your son, what advice would you give him?
 
Anonma,
Can you provide some more background as to what happened? Also, has there been any improvement in the past couple days?
 
I too would be happy to give advice if you have more particular info. I’ll take a shot at addressing your concern as is. Disclaimer: I am not there now, so I don’t know what limitations are in place due to COVID, but I do know Rats are still allowed in their Dykes rooms.

Sometimes the personalities between Dyke and Rat just don’t yield that perfect tight bond everyone envisions and hopes for. This was definitely my experience. My Dyke was good and all, just we were both shy people so that left a stalemate of sorts.

As the Rat, options to address this are limited. I would advise him to make sure he’s trying to ask/have conversations that focus on anything they have in common (major, hobbies, ROTC, etc). Hopefully this is a seed for (hopefully) further conversation. Really though, that personality clash is hard to fix....it is common for a Rat to bond to a particular Uncle Dyke that maybe they have more in common with.
It was my experience that I actually got tighter with my Dyke as I became a 1/c and got a Rat....this may be your son’s experience as well. I know that’s super vague. If you have specifics, let me know.
 
My son and I went to a VMI football game even though he was a "lock" for USNA (didn't happen) and it happened to be on parents day. It was a beautiful Saturday and we walked around that incredible campus and all of a sudden a Marine from Camp Lejeune walked up and said, "Hey."

I knew him from coaching youth sports on base and his son was a Rat who ran up to greet his family. The son, the Rat said, "Hi everybody, I have to get back to my Dyke."

As he ran off I said, huh, what? Coach Dad explained what a Dyke was and we finished our catching up and my son and I went to the mess hall for some excellent fried chicken before going to the stadium. Coastal Carolina beat the snot out of the Keydets and I haven't been back since.
 
Old Navy BGO said:
> I almost spit out my coffee.... was having the same thoughts...
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LOL; seems it’s a unique place, for sure. From what I’ve heard, the term came about because of the white “dykes” worn during parades, etc. It takes 2 people to put them on. Not all traditions are worth keeping, maybe it’s time for a new term?!...
Either way, hope things have gotten better for your rat, Anonmom! Good luck!!!👍
 
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I didn't get along with my dyke. He had two rats. When my uncle dyke's rat (my dyke's roommate) left, I just became his rat without really talking about it. I would recommend that your son get to know or try to bond with his dyke's roommates. I assume he probably has at least two roommates. Whatever you do, don't get involved (let them work it out) and I wouldn't advise your son to ask for another dyke. A lot of Keydets have great dyke relationships but I would say that the significance of that relationship definitely wanes over the years. It's not imperative by any means to have a great relationships. There is plenty other avenues for building relationships.
 
vmi1991fromva said:
I didn't get along with my dyke. He had two rats. When my uncle dyke's rat (my dyke's roommate) left, I just became his rat without really talking about it.
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If one just walked into this thread thread and read this post first, they'd really be confused. I had to diagram that sentence to make sense of it.

I have to plead guilty to the same thing as @VelveteenR, @Devil Doc and @Old Navy BGO .

Any other old terms we should be aware of that have newer, more contemporary definitions? Don't get me wrong, VMI had them first so I don't think they should have to change.
 
My Rat and his Dyke did not successfully establish a connection...
Should he go to the Dyke's room at a certain time of day...
My Dyke was good and all...
I have to get back to my Dyke...
I wouldn't advise your son to ask for another dyke...
Sometimes the personalities between Dyke and Rat just don’t yield that perfect tight bond everyone envisions and hopes for.
Click to expand...

<wipes away tears>
 
Youse guys! (eye roll) I thought the term "Dyke" in regards to 1st Class senior mentorship of Rats was universally understood on this board. You'll be amused to know, the parent's group on Facebook is having FB censorship issues on any such discussions, so they've started typing D*ke or other permutations.

Also, due to increasing rates of COVID within the Corps, 1st Classmen are no longer permitted to interact with Rats in person, no Rats allowed on 1st stoop. Cats & dogs / mass hysteria / what a sh*t show. The Institute is doing an excellent job of managing the COVID situation and working within all of the restrictive government regulations. Bless them, it's got to be a giant headache.

I will try to offer some additional detail without oversharing. I think this is really important for this info to be recorded here, for future Rats & parents reference. When one sends an 18yo into the challenge that is VMI, one reassures oneself that even though you won't have any contact or communications with your kid, there is this one person keeping an eye on them: their Dyke. He is there to encourage the Rat, explain how things work and offer guidance, offer a pep talk or an ass chewing as needed. How the Rat endures and succeeds or fails at VMI is on the Rat... but they are still an 18yo man-child who needs his ears boxed or a big hug from time to time.

What happened in my Rat's case? The Rat & Dyke didn't hit it off, didn't make a good connection. Then the Rat got himself into trouble. The Dyke told the Rat not to contact him unless it was an emergency and he needed his phone to call home (Dykes hold onto Rats' phones through the Ratline period). Communication ceased. It is the Rat's fault and responsibility that he became a problem, got himself into trouble. I am not making any excuses for his behavior. But he really, really needed the guidance from a mature peer advocate. When he needed the Dyke the most, he was shunned.

Other than mentioning this in conversations with the Chaplain's office, I have not involved myself. I came here to ask you guys for advice, because I know there is a VMI alumni presence here... and it is a more anonymous forum that the Facebook parent's group. I encouraged the Rat to stop being a problem, stop being aloof, swallow his humiliation and reestablish contact with the Dyke. He is fearful and cannot or will not.
 
@AnonMa, I really meant it when I said upthread, “the things you learn on this board,” and I hope I didn’t offend in post #12. The double entendre was just too overpowering for me. However, I now know the meaning of the term in this context, and I do understand how hard it is to sit on your hands when one of your children is having a hard time, so hugs to you, and keep us posted as this thread will continue to catch my eye.
 
@VelveteenR absolutely no offense taken, as Rat Dad yells "OMG STOP SAYING THAT!" every time I try to discuss the D*ke issue with him. I think some of the archaic details about VMI are hilariously endearing.

I will definitely update later when the dust settles. Despite this disappointment, I would attest that VMI is an institution of unmatched quality with many staff members who genuinely care about every Rat succeeding.
 
AnonMa said:
Youse guys! (eye roll) I thought the term "Dyke" in regards to 1st Class senior mentorship of Rats was universally understood on this board. You'll be amused to know, the parent's group on Facebook is having FB censorship issues on any such discussions, so they've started typing D*ke or other permutations.

Also, due to increasing rates of COVID within the Corps, 1st Classmen are no longer permitted to interact with Rats in person, no Rats allowed on 1st stoop. Cats & dogs / mass hysteria / what a sh*t show. The Institute is doing an excellent job of managing the COVID situation and working within all of the restrictive government regulations. Bless them, it's got to be a giant headache.

I will try to offer some additional detail without oversharing. I think this is really important for this info to be recorded here, for future Rats & parents reference. When one sends an 18yo into the challenge that is VMI, one reassures oneself that even though you won't have any contact or communications with your kid, there is this one person keeping an eye on them: their Dyke. He is there to encourage the Rat, explain how things work and offer guidance, offer a pep talk or an *** chewing as needed. How the Rat endures and succeeds or fails at VMI is on the Rat... but they are still an 18yo man-child who needs his ears boxed or a big hug from time to time.

What happened in my Rat's case? The Rat & Dyke didn't hit it off, didn't make a good connection. Then the Rat got himself into trouble. The Dyke told the Rat not to contact him unless it was an emergency and he needed his phone to call home (Dykes hold onto Rats' phones through the Ratline period). Communication ceased. It is the Rat's fault and responsibility that he became a problem, got himself into trouble. I am not making any excuses for his behavior. But he really, really needed the guidance from a mature peer advocate. When he needed the Dyke the most, he was shunned.

Other than mentioning this in conversations with the Chaplain's office, I have not involved myself. I came here to ask you guys for advice, because I know there is a VMI alumni presence here... and it is a more anonymous forum that the Facebook parent's group. I encouraged the Rat to stop being a problem, stop being aloof, swallow his humiliation and reestablish contact with the Dyke. He is fearful and cannot or will not.
Click to expand...
This is useful information. While different Dykes will have different approaches, some better than others...they’ve never been Dykes after all...I do agree that it seems complete radio silence is not likely to solve anything. Even if the Rat was totally in the wrong, the Dyke should be dealing with the Rat’s screw up. Since I don’t have all the info or both sides of the story, I won’t recommend a specific course of action, but he does have options. Whether that be talking with his BRs to see how his experience compares, talking (emailing) with an Uncle Dyke, finding a potentially friendly 2/c in an ac building that he’s met from class (need to be careful about Fraternization policy here), talking with his OGA rep. There’s a continuum of severity there and he will have to decide what path to take, but there are options other than doing nothing that he can evaluate and ask BRs about as they are in the same position as him.
 
VelveteenR said:
The double entendre was just too overpowering for me
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I'm not sure how to characterize it, but the term "dyke" was not used as a double entendre. That would mean that the user had the deliberate intention of conveying two meanings.

An example:

When I was kid, my father had a metal file. On the protective sleeve was clearly written "Bastard". When my father wasn't around I creatively thought of ways to refer to that tool just to try and get my Mother upset. "Hey Mother, the lawn mower blade is dull. Do we have a bastard? Oh good! I found the bastard. I hope this bastard does the trick." I was at the ready with the sleeve and a dictionary.

That was a double entendre.

I was the youngest of five. It hardly phased her.

I too love the quaint, archaic terms and traditions.
 
dou·ble en·ten·dre
/ˌdo͞obl änˈtändrə,ˌdəbl änˈtändrə/
noun
noun: double entendre; plural noun: double entendres
a word or phrase open to two interpretations, one of which is usually risqué or indecent.
Click to expand...

These posts can be read straight...or not. No pun intended. ;)
 
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