Enlisted Friend...Allowed?

B

brewmeist

5-Year Member
Joined
Mar 2, 2018
Messages
1,462
My son is a current plebe. His best friend grew up next door to us, and they have known each other their entire lives. His friend is enlisted USMC. What does this mean for their continued friendship?
 
brewmeist said:
My son is a current plebe. His best friend grew up next door to us, and they have known each other their entire lives. His friend is enlisted USMC. What does this mean for their continued friendship?
Click to expand...

https://www.usna.edu/Commandant/Dir...NST-5400.6V-MIDSHIPMEN-REGULATIONS-MANUAL.pdf

MidRegs will govern your DS’ conduct, and then Navy Regulations will, in all kinds of areas. The section on Fraternization starts on p. 3-2. His enlisted Marine friend will be governed by similar regulations.

By the book, their friendship falls in the area described by the Regs. These situations are also not that unusual. Complete professionalism and respect for each other’s careers, plus a huge helping of common sense, can help them make the right decisions. Your son will be the senior in the situation and bear the most responsibility.

And what I mean by common sense... no social media pictures together, no visiting by the Marine at USNA, even in civvies, because we don’t want shading of the truth, etc.

Good friends are a wonderful thing, and friendships of long standing are equally valuable.

Without being specific, my advice is “be smart.” If the friendship continues, both should have a care for the other.

And how cool would it be to have the first salute come from a Marine.
 
Thanks for this response. I understand the spirit of the rule, but it is another example of the sacrifices being made to protect our country. His friend is at Quantico right now. I better make sure there are no Sunday visits.
 
You are welcome.

Your son is responsible for knowing MidRegs. His friend is responsible for knowing his applicable regulations. May I suggest you let them figure it out as a test of professionalism, maturity and their independent active duty status? Your son will also know, as a plebe, with whom he can ride in vehicles. As both a mid and an officer, he will be expected to research regulations, adhere to policy, take care not to lead juniors astray, made appropriate decisions, understand the potential consequences, of a wide variety of operational, ethical and administrative challenges. USNA is one big leadership lab, and he’s in the middle of it.

No doubt you raised him to be thoughtful and conscientious. Trust in that.
 
I texted him to give him a heads-up with all of this. He responded that he has had several conversations with his detailers about this already over the summer. It's so easy to think that he is still a teenage high schooler. Time to take even another step back.
 
One final note - the prudent midshipman always reads the Regs for themselves. An upperclass mid, a resident of that same large leadership lab I mentioned above, may think they know the answer and say something such as “Pre-existing relationship. You’re good.” Yes, there is a specific mention of pre-existing relationships, but not in all cases. I can’t tell you how many mids I fried during my time on staff there, and have watched sponsor sons and daughters get fried for, when they “shop,” cafeteria-style for the answer that seems legit and seems to allow them to do action X that they want to do. The “uh, my roommate’s brother graduated two years ago, and when we texted him, he said it was ok.” “I asked my youngster, and she said she knew someone in another company was allowed to do it, so I am good to go.” “My company commander allows us to do it.” The signer of MidRegs is the only authority who may allow exceptions, and those staff officers to whom he or she has delegated specific authority. That is usually not a midshipman, and may not even be at the company officer level.

As I said, one big leadership lab, experiments merrily bubbling away in every corner, some boiling over!
 
Along with some getting splashed on...
 
People like to go high and right with this all the time and it's pretty irritating, as common sense seems to get thrown out the window a lot. If your son and his best friend since childhood have been friends for years, they 100% are allowed to remain friends. I'm in the same exact boat. I'm currently an LT and my best friend growing up is currently an AT2. We've coincidentally been stationed in the same location 3 different times, which is pretty cool, but don't work together at all, since he works on F-18 avionics and I'm a P-3/P-8 NFO. I never expect him to call me "Sir," except maybe in front of some of his senior leadership, such as during the 2 reenlistments I did for him. I believe the same mentality goes for dating, as long as an established relationship was in effect prior to one or both members of the military joining the service, but any JAG's/legal types, feel free to step in there. The military cannot tell you that you're not allowed to be friends with someone you've known for years, but someone will almost always throw around the line "as long as the relationship is not prejudicial to good order and discipline."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top