Father of a DD Class of ‘23 here to answer questions

PapaMedic

PapaMedic

Member
Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
17
I remember it like it was yesterday. Daily portal checks, making sure we answered our phone from any number any time of day. This isn’t easy but hang in there!

Please feel free to ask the questions that you have been reluctant to elsewhere. My daughter owned the process from beginning to end and got her appointment on 3/21/19.

The emotions are real. Own them and accept them, and everything will be ok!
 
PapaMedic said:
I remember it like it was yesterday. Daily portal checks, making sure we answered our phone from any number any time of day. This isn’t easy but hang in there!

Please feel free to ask the questions that you have been reluctant to elsewhere. My daughter owned the process from beginning to end and got her appointment on 3/21/19.

The emotions are real. Own them and accept them, and everything will be ok!
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Do you remember if there is another status between CPR - and the offer ? CPR has been since Oct 21 st - will is say “ in review “ or anything else ?
 
Hi there, thank you so much for posting. I have two questions.

1) I know USNA is by far and away my top choice school. When did your daughter become inspired to apply and when did she realize it was the right place (i.e., was it at a young age, during the college process, after she had been admitted and she toured, etc.)?

2) My parents are supportive, but still slightly apprehensive about me going to USNA. I have tried to reassure them that in all likelihood, I will not be in an Afghani desert shooting at terrorists, but I believe they are still concerned about the 9 year service commitment. It is expensive to fly out and tour (I live in CA, for reference), so I'm unsure of whether or not they'll be able to see the school for itself and gain the same perspective on the school. As a parent, did you have similar feelings about your daughter going and then realized it was the right place or were you completely supportive during her whole college process? If the latter is the case, what would you suggest I do to make my parents more comfortable and supportive of my choice to attend if that is what I decide?
 
I am in a similar place as the OP but further in the process. Having had military family members I was not as apprehensive but my DW was very. After touring USNA she was much less. I think the endless supply of opportunities won her over. USNA often host Academy days and information sessions for those wanting to learn more. I'd look into something like that closer to your residence. Second, there are SO many videos online that present the upside of attending USNA that maybe you could get your parents to watch some of those. As for DD knowing. USNA was always her first choice but it was Oct of her Plebe year that she called and stated she was where she belonged.
 
but I believe they are still concerned about the 9 year service commitment
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A few things to consider. First, you don't make a commitment until you've spent 2 full years at USNA. So when you agree to attend, there's no commitment (other than a moral/personal/ethical one) even to show up on I-Day.

Second, it is great to be assured of a good, well-paying job upon graduation . . . and (assuming you don't do something really stupid) being guaranteed such a job for at least 8-10 years upon graduation. Not many college grads can say that.

Third, the time flies. Plebe year seems to go on forever (for plebes). But almost every mid and every parent I know can't believe how fast 4 years rushes by. And the next 5 years also go by pretty fast. On the vast scheme of your life, those years will likely be some of the best/most productive you spend, regardless of whether you stay in or leave.

Finally, if you've seen USNA, that's what counts. It's nice if parents can see it, but I honestly don't think seeing USNA will sway the decision of a parent. I would encourage them to contact your local USNA parents' group. I have mixed views on the benefits of those groups, but one thing they can be really good at is reassuring parents who don't have much familiarity with USNA.
 
gabby1723 said:
I have tried to reassure them that in all likelihood, I will not be in an Afghani desert shooting at terrorists, but I believe they are still concerned about the 9 year service commitment.
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> You are right, it is unlikely that you will be in the desert shooting at Terrorists (unless you want to be-there are plenty of opportunities for that ), but it is important not to downplay the Service commitment. USNA is a military school, and all graduates are expected to serve. There are not "front lines" and "rear area" anymore .

No one is asking for a lifetime commitment, 9 years (which includes 4 at USNA (and the option to leave at 2) seems like a big committment when you are 18. but really isn't when you are looking back when you are 50+ years old. All that is asked is that you go in with an open mind toward a career, and give 110% to your job and those serving under you while you are in.
 
Sometimes it’s simply the unknown that’s hard to deal with. Any opportunity to become more familiar with NAVY and USNA may help. It did me for sure. Personally for me, after touring USNA is when I “got it”, and developed a trust in the process. Felt comforted that this was his path. That these were his people. And confident in their education/training to prepare my DS.

Generally parents want to see their kids SOAR. But watching them leave the nest is tough. Continue to talk with them about YOUR desires. How they have raised YOU to rise to this occasion. Why you feel the way you do. It takes a minute to get used to the idea. I’m pretty certain that the way they feel now is not the way they will feel after Iday.

And in the end, it doesnt matter as already stated. It’s you life, your decision. They will come around. You are on the cusp of the next chapter of YOUR life. It’s yours to do with as you wish!!
 
Old Navy BGO said:
> You are right, it is unlikely that you will be in the desert shooting at Terrorists (unless you want to be-there are plenty of opportunities for that ), but it is important not to downplay the Service commitment. USNA is a military school, and all graduates are expected to serve. There are not "front lines" and "rear area" anymore .

No one is asking for a lifetime commitment, 9 years (which includes 4 at USNA (and the option to leave at 2) seems like a big committment when you are 18. but really isn't when you are looking back when you are 50+ years old. All that is asked is that you go in with an open mind toward a career, and give 110% to your job and those serving under you while you are in.
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I'm totally aware of the service requirement and it doesn't daunt me at all. It's actually really exciting. I just say that because my parents hear "military" and they assume that. They just think I'm going to be in harms way for the 9+ years when that might not actually be the case. If it were, it wouldn't bother me, because when you're apart of the military, you're choosing to defend your country against anything. That's exactly what I intend to do, regardless of wherever that leads me. Just wanted to clarify my intentions versus what my family thinks the military entails.
 
usna1985 said:
A few things to consider. First, you don't make a commitment until you've spent 2 full years at USNA. So when you agree to attend, there's no commitment (other than a moral/personal/ethical one) even to show up on I-Day.

Second, it is great to be assured of a good, well-paying job upon graduation . . . and (assuming you don't do something really stupid) being guaranteed such a job for at least 8-10 years upon graduation. Not many college grads can say that.

Third, the time flies. Plebe year seems to go on forever (for plebes). But almost every mid and every parent I know can't believe how fast 4 years rushes by. And the next 5 years also go by pretty fast. On the vast scheme of your life, those years will likely be some of the best/most productive you spend, regardless of whether you stay in or leave.

Finally, if you've seen USNA, that's what counts. It's nice if parents can see it, but I honestly don't think seeing USNA will sway the decision of a parent. I would encourage them to contact your local USNA parents' group. I have mixed views on the benefits of those groups, but one thing they can be really good at is reassuring parents who don't have much familiarity with USNA.
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Thank you for your insight. There are so many benefits of attending which is what initially drew me to the school, but as I kept researching, I just kept finding more and more things I liked. I've never seen the school, but I've talked to a lot of alumni and I have a few good friends who go there and I've heard about their different experiences at the school and after graduating and how good of an experience it was for them. I've talked to the coaches for my sport there as well and the team is great in terms of results and team culture, so that's also a really big factor for me. I've done virtual tours and have been on the website a lot to find out everything I can about majors and the classes offered. I've also been on these forums to see other perspectives (the good and bad) about USNA. I'm trying to use every resource I have available to me to see as much as I can if I can't make that trip. I've toured other colleges but none of them clicked for me, but I took note of the things I liked at each university and USNA seems to match my preferences based on those. I'm trying to get my mom on this site so she can get some of her questions answered too, but for now I'm just sending her some videos I can find online.
 
justdoit19 said:
Sometimes it’s simply the unknown that’s hard to deal with. Any opportunity to become more familiar with NAVY and USNA may help. It did me for sure. Personally for me, after touring USNA is when I “got it”, and developed a trust in the process. Felt comforted that this was his path. That these were his people. And confident in their education/training to prepare my DS.

Generally parents want to see their kids SOAR. But watching them leave the nest is tough. Continue to talk with them about YOUR desires. How they have raised YOU to rise to this occasion. Why you feel the way you do. It takes a minute to get used to the idea. I’m pretty certain that the way they feel now is not the way they will feel after Iday.

And in the end, it doesnt matter as already stated. It’s you life, your decision. They will come around. You are on the cusp of the next chapter of YOUR life. It’s yours to do with as you wish!!
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Thank you, I'm going to try to keep up the conversation with them. I think they're starting to see that this is really what I want and I think they're slowly becoming more supportive.
 
gabby1723 said:
Thank you, I'm going to try to keep up the conversation with them. I think they're starting to see that this is really what I want and I think they're slowly becoming more supportive.
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If you can get them to visit with you, that would make a difference, IMHO! Went with DS for CVW and was so filled with awe/humility/pride walking around the campus, seeing noon meal formation and going to the parent info sessions.

If they don't want to visit with you, start a gofundme page and see where you land!

Best wishes and @justdoit19 , great profile pic!!
 
I think I can pin point when my daughter –DD1 -- knew the Naval Academy was the right place for her. It was during plebe summer. One afternoon her detailer had gathered the squad together and was asking each plebe in turn what they would have done had they chosen not to go to the Naval Academy. My daughter’s response was that she would have been a “trophy wife”. I still chuckle when I think of her answer.
The choice to go to the academy comes from your heart and is your choice alone.
Who wants to be a trophy wife anyway.
 
Let me give you the "other side of the coin." A number of years ago, a family friend (male) really wanted to attend USNA. Had an appointment in hand. Dad was supportive but hands off. Mom didn't want her baby to attend, primarily because (get this) he wouldn't have all summer to spend at home with her. He ended up declining his appointment. He still had the strong desire to serve upon graduation from civilian college, but a medical issue that arose while in college prevented it. While he now has a very successful life, he missed the opportunity to fulfill HIS dream, in large part b/c his mother didn't support it.
 
gabby1723 said:
Thank you, I'm going to try to keep up the conversation with them. I think they're starting to see that this is really what I want and I think they're slowly becoming more supportive.
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I was just like your parents. My DS accepted his appt this week. It took me about 12 months before I was convinced that my DSs convictions were real and well thought out. Have patience with them. Talk to them. Answer their questions. And demonstrate your commitment every day. They will eventually come to respect you and your decision.
They just love you and want the best for you. Don’t forget that as you repeat for the 30th time WHY you want to serve.
 
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