Father of a DD Class of ‘23 here to answer questions

Same! My DS just accepted and I went through the same journey. His experience at NASS, along with the understanding that he has 2 years in which he could change his mind, put me at ease. SCubb has great advice for you.
 
gabby1723 said:
Hi there, thank you so much for posting. I have two questions.

1) I know USNA is by far and away my top choice school. When did your daughter become inspired to apply and when did she realize it was the right place (i.e., was it at a young age, during the college process, after she had been admitted and she toured, etc.)?

2) My parents are supportive, but still slightly apprehensive about me going to USNA. I have tried to reassure them that in all likelihood, I will not be in an Afghani desert shooting at terrorists, but I believe they are still concerned about the 9 year service commitment. It is expensive to fly out and tour (I live in CA, for reference), so I'm unsure of whether or not they'll be able to see the school for itself and gain the same perspective on the school. As a parent, did you have similar feelings about your daughter going and then realized it was the right place or were you completely supportive during her whole college process? If the latter is the case, what would you suggest I do to make my parents more comfortable and supportive of my choice to attend if that is what I decide?
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I love your enthusiasm and spirit. I have seen some of your posts here on SAF, and I am pulling for you. If you are fortunate enough to get an appointment I can promise you this. Your parents will cry. They will cry with pride. They will cry the morning of I day when you walk into alumni hall. They will cry when when they see you that hot afternoon in your white works. They will hide their tears when you look at them on I Day, with a shocked look in your eye they have never seen before. They will cry when you march into Bancroft and the door slams...when they see you PW in your summer whites for the first time. They will burst with pride.

My DW and I knew our DD was in for a unique ride. We did not realize we, as parents, would be along for an amazing ride as well. There is an amazing community that surrounds USNA. If your parents get plugged into this forum, Facebook pages for the class of 2024, USNA parents page and your company page, they will grow to know the parents of your classmates. They will build virtual and real bonds with so many parents going through the same unique experience. Additionally, USNA Alumni Assoc. does a great job uniting parents in each state with parent organizations.
 
I have a DD that has been appointed for 2024. My DH, her biological dad, and I have chosen to support her every step of the way. Does it scare me some? Yes! Am I apprehensive? Some. Does it matter? NO! She has made the right decision for her and chosen her path. I will cry when we drop her off, but it will be a mixture of pride in her choices and achievements and sorrow of knowing my baby is coming back to me grown up. I am expecting an emotional roller coaster, but in no way do I or have I ever wondered or questioned if she is making the right decision for her dreams and goals in life.
 
THParent said:
Best phone call, ever.
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Haha. We had that exact discussion with DS when he was home for Christmas. He is only a wet-behind-the-ears Plebe and my wife reminded him that he went in focused on Naval Engineering, sailing on ships, and designing new naval assets. But after six months he's already changed his mind and now focused on Marine aviation. Not only that, he has his 20-year-plus roadmap targeting O-6 or better. NOW...of course he could very likely change his mind a dozen times before he commissions and who knows what will happen when things get "real". But we're encouraged that he is embracing the opportunity.

BTW - He made 'Dant's List for first semester with only a "B" in Aptitude keeping him from the Super List. That made him upset because Aptitude is chosen by upperclassmen who don't know the Plebes and the slots are limited, despite him earning a 3.6 GPA and ranking 4th in his Company. It's a stupid process. But we are proud of his passion and commitment.
 
Does having multiple nominations increase your chances of receiving an appointment?
 
Packerfan12 said:
BTW - He made 'Dant's List for first semester with only a "B" in Aptitude keeping him from the Super List. That made him upset because Aptitude is chosen by upperclassmen who don't know the Plebes and the slots are limited, despite him earning a 3.6 GPA and ranking 4th in his Company. It's a stupid process. But we are proud of his passion and commitment.
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Sounds very familiar. It’s something to work on. That’s what I told my DS - find out what to work on and then work on it - maybe at the slight expense of academic prowess.
 
Does having multiple nominations increase your chances of receiving an appointment?
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Hard to give a definitive answer. In theory, yes. If you have more noms, there are more slates that you could potentially "win" and thus secure an appointment. However, if you are at the bottom of multiple slates (and/or rank very low among those with Pres, NROTC, etc. noms), you may not win any slates and may not fare well in the national pool -- in which case, the number doesn't materially affect your chances.
 
Packerfan12 said:
He is only a wet-behind-the-ears Plebe and my wife reminded him that he went in focused on Naval Engineering, sailing on ships, and designing new naval assets. But after six months he's already changed his mind and now focused on Marine aviation......

He made 'Dant's List for first semester with only a "B" in Aptitude keeping him from the Super List. That made him upset because Aptitude is chosen by upperclassmen who don't know the Plebes and the slots are limited, despite him earning a 3.6 GPA and ranking 4th in his Company. It's a stupid process......
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Very common for a Midshipman to change his /her Service Selection ...often multiple times. Most candidates have little exposure to the different warfare communities and will gravitate toward those they relate to. Plebes often emulate the Marines ...as they are squared away, elite, -exactly what a Plebe should strive for. Then over the years, they may see something else...and frankly , its all good. If you get too fixated on a particular service selection, you could be disappointed if you .

I disagree that peer review is a stupid process. How you are perceived by both peers and subordinates alike is very important to effectiveness as a leader. If the Upperclassmen who did the ranking "don't know him, " it could be because he didn't stand out enough to get an A in Conduct/Aptitude. Competitive ranking of performance by superiors is a fact of life in the Navy, and will affect assignments and promotions for his entire career. Blaming the system as "stupid" doesn't help anything. I think there was another thread here recently talking about how to improve Aptitude ranking ..and my advice would be to sit down with the Squad Leader and talk to him/her about what he needs to do to get an A next Semester.

Finally, While everyone should strive for excellence, and getting recognized on Supe/Dant's list may open doors for other opportunities at USNA, it certainly isn't an expectation. Back in the day, it was pretty rare (I got to wear stars for one semester but don't recall whether it was 'Dant or 'Supes list). It appears to be a little more common nowadays (based upon observation of Midshipmen while visiting last year), but frankly, once you get to the Fleet (and that is what counts), nobody cares.
 
ders_dad said:
Sounds very familiar. It’s something to work on. That’s what I told my DS - find out what to work on and then work on it - maybe at the slight expense of academic prowess.
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Yep it’s all a balancing/learning act. Smartest kid in ds’s class was very unliked by his classmates. Academics came at the expense of his social game. It all matters to be an effective leader. People have to like you to want to work for you.

It’s a leadership learning lab. There is no better place to learn leadership!! I isn’t
It awesome that they are being taught how to adjust?
 
Old Navy BGO said:
I disagree that peer review is a stupid process. How you are perceived by both peers and subordinates alike is very important to effectiveness as a leader. If the Upperclassmen who did the ranking "don't know him, " it could be because he didn't stand out enough to get an A in Conduct/Aptitude. Competitive ranking of performance by superiors is a fact of life in the Navy, and will affect assignments and promotions for his entire career. Blaming the system as "stupid" doesn't help anything. I think there was another thread here recently talking about how to improve Aptitude ranking ..and my advice would be to sit down with the Squad Leader and talk to him/her about what he needs to do to get an A next Semester.
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Point taken. I shouldn't have been so flip...there are always two sides to every story and there are ALWAYS things we can improve on. Thanks for the proverbial slap in the head. :)
 
justdoit19 said:
Yep it’s all a balancing/learning act. Smartest kid in ds’s class was very unliked by his classmates. Academics came at the expense of his social game. It all matters to be an effective leader. People have to like you to want to work for you.
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Agreed!

And an important part of people liking you is knowing you like them.
Surest way I know to fail at leadership is to give off the vibe that the people you expect to follow are held in contempt.
 
It’s not necessarily about being liked, it’s about being respected. Plebe year its tends to be still a lot about like in peer reviews. They are still learning this whole thing. It’s about cultivating relationships. Leading your peers is the hardest leadership there is. You have 40 some alphas all together with the same rank... some plebes trying to be superior and that can get them in trouble with their classmates. Take the comments, process them, think about them. Learning to lead with authenticity, amongst your peers and balancing it all is part art and part science. They will figure it out, it’s meant to be a learning experience and extremely hard to understand unless you have lived inside the walls of Bancroft.
 
usna1985 said:
He ended up declining his appointment. He still had the strong desire to serve upon graduation from civilian college, but a medical issue that arose while in college prevented it. While he now has a very successful life, he missed the opportunity to fulfill HIS dream, in large part b/c his mother didn't support it.
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@usna1985 This is a sad story. Is it fair to say though that with medical issue he would have been medically DQ'd during USNA and have to leave anyway?
 
Without going into specifics other than it was a "situational" issue (happened once so more likely to happen again, which is the DQ), it's impossible to say if it would have occurred had he attended USNA. Also, he was trying to go special forces, so that also influenced things.

In the end, what's important is that mom put her desires ahead of those of her son. Both of them have to live with the consequences. Thankfully, for the son, the end result is perfectly fine - just not the opportunity to pursue his dream.
 
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