I too teach high school. Devil Doc and I share in that affliction, I mean blessing. I am also writing a letter of recommendation for a student I have known for four years, although she elected to work from home last school year (our district was the first in our state to reopen. We did so in August of 2020 and have remained open).
She emailed me, we met, she told me what the letter was for, and I asked her to answer a few questions. I will write the letter and complete the evaluation this week. She is doing the work, she does earn her grades, and yes, she has a GPA over 4.0, but that is because she excelled in honors and dual credit courses that without question, are more difficult and challenging than traditional courses. Her work ethic is superior to all but one of her peers academically.
Our DS never received a grade below an A on his report card in high school. He also didn't sleep much, sought help, worked with his teachers when extra instruction was offered and really wanted to attend USNA knowing he had to work to even have a snowball's chance in hell at a nomination and or appointment. I'm not objective here, but I know he earned every grade he received. And we never told him that would get him ready completely for the rigor of SA academics- it would be harder 100 fold.
Personally, my district has been pretty supportive of the staff. I have never been asked to 'offer extra credit' or 'help Johnny become eligible for Friday night'. I would have no qualms about discussing Johnny's wasted time during lecture staring at his girlfriend, or his late submissions of assigned work. OR the fact that Johnny (or Susie) doesn't consider 'study' to be a verb that actually requires action on his part. I have failed students, even when it was a senior that meant he/she was now credit deficient and would be facing a very delayed graduation if any. There is no integrity in giving a grade to a student who didn't earn it.
I am consistently disappointed with a local middle school that passes all students, regardless of aptitude or mastery of even one subject. They are only making those students be set up for failure moving forward.
As mentioned, parents are nightmares. I mean horror show Freddy Krueger level nasty. Devil Doc isn't wrong when he says it's wise to avoid them. I can see admin bowing to some of them, it isn't worth the law suit and police reports, but it's wrong.
I do recall that USNA asked our counselor for stats on our % of students going on to 4 year schools. The average SAT/ACT score for the prior graduation class, total enrollment, grading system and highest course offered. They must take all of that into account in some wizard designed algorithm.