How do you "life veterans" keep yourselves motivated and on track?

Capt MJ said:
Don’t ever lose your sense of silly and the ability to laugh until your eyes leak tears and your face hurts, with the people you love and the people who love you, or who are fellow travelers in EmbraceTheSuckLand.

My best friend and I, friends since we were ensigns together in Spain in the last century (epic adventures there and in surrounding countries, with a mutual non-disclosure pact), still send each other birthday boxes each and every year. Odd (think bizarre) foods, animal print themed clothing items, disturbing souvenirs from around the world, strange books, all in a specific-sized box that we re-use as long as we can. If we can, we are on the phone or FaceTime during the opening, laughing. The dead silence reactions are the best. On 10-year anniversaries of our friendship, we give one nice thing, then return to the hunt for off-the-wall things. The moral of this sea story is what you cherish as the years go by are the people in your life that make you feel like your best and truest self.

I started it with the wolves. Maybe I should have gone with the gators.
Click to expand...
Kinda need both... wolves for the coat, gators for the shoes and belt
 
Capt MJ said:
Don’t ever lose your sense of silly and the ability to laugh until your eyes leak tears and your face hurts, with the people you love and the people who love you, or who are fellow travelers in EmbraceTheSuckLand.

My best friend and I, friends since we were ensigns together in Spain in the last century (epic adventures there and in surrounding countries, with a mutual non-disclosure pact), still send each other birthday boxes each and every year. Odd (think bizarre) foods, animal print themed clothing items, disturbing souvenirs from around the world, strange books, all in a specific-sized box that we re-use as long as we can. If we can, we are on the phone or FaceTime during the opening, laughing. The dead silence reactions are the best. On 10-year anniversaries of our friendship, we give one nice thing, then return to the hunt for off-the-wall things. The moral of this sea story is what you cherish as the years go by are the people in your life that make you feel like your best and truest self.

I started it with the wolves. Maybe I should have gone with the gators.
Click to expand...
Ma'am I know this is "just" a sort of anonymous forum on the internet but I have to say, sometimes when I read your posts, I get a glimpse of what my life might be like when I'm crusty and salty like you (said with the deepest respect), and I feel like it's a little secret of the universe. Thank you much ma'am. You just have a way of making sure we get it out here, or at least this young pup with no sea legs does.
 
PlebeNoMore27 said:
Ma'am I know this is "just" a sort of anonymous forum on the internet but I have to say, sometimes when I read your posts, I get a glimpse of what my life might be like when I'm crusty and salty like you (said with the deepest respect), and I feel like it's a little secret of the universe. Thank you much ma'am. You just have a way of making sure we get it out here, or at least this young pup with no sea legs does.
Click to expand...

You are quite welcome.

Salty, check.

Crusty?!?! Oh dear. I didn’t think I had achieved that quite yet.

Crusty describes my first department head, a LDO LCDR boatswain’s mate, from Philadelphia, Italian-American, stubby cigar in one hand, blackened interior coffee cup in the other, every other word the F word. Laughed like a pirate. Taught me how to lead my division, be fair and respect my people’s skills and not worry about being liked.
 
Capt MJ said:
Don’t ever lose your sense of silly and the ability to laugh until your eyes leak tears and your face hurts, with the people you love and the people who love you, or who are fellow travelers in EmbraceTheSuckLand.

My best friend and I, friends since we were ensigns together in Spain in the last century (epic adventures there and in surrounding countries, with a mutual non-disclosure pact), still send each other birthday boxes each and every year. Odd (think bizarre) foods, animal print themed clothing items, disturbing souvenirs from around the world, strange books, all in a specific-sized box that we re-use as long as we can. If we can, we are on the phone or FaceTime during the opening, laughing. The dead silence reactions are the best. On 10-year anniversaries of our friendship, we give one nice thing, then return to the hunt for off-the-wall things. The moral of this sea story is what you cherish as the years go by are the people in your life that make you feel like your best and truest self.

I started it with the wolves. Maybe I should have gone with the gators.
Click to expand...
...and a purse, bag, luggage for the big trips
 
Capt MJ said:
You are quite welcome.

Salty, check.

Crusty?!?! Oh dear. I didn’t think I had achieved that quite yet.

Crusty describes my first department head, a LDO LCDR boatswain’s mate, from Philadelphia, Italian-American, stubby cigar in one hand, blackened interior coffee cup in the other, every other word the F word. Laughed like a pirate. Taught me how to lead my division, be fair and respect my people’s skills and not worry about being liked.
Click to expand...
Ma'am if I stepped in it with "crusty" then I assure you it was because I'm young and dumb and didn't know better. But still, if I did, I apologize.

There was a Chief on my surface cruise this summer who was almost the same as yours - except for the cigar of course! At first he kind of intimidated me because every 3rd word was the F-inheimer, with a few other colorful terms thrown in. But then I saw how the team was around him. They were definitely motivated and not at all intimidated, so I relaxed too. My big lesson from him was, his people could come to him with anything. I saw a seaman apprentice go to him and say, Chief, I f'ed up, and the Chief was annoyed but worked with the E2 about what she'd do different. He also gruffly said "Took f'in guts to own up, Smith. When you f up and f'in own it, your head's still in the f'in game and now we can solve the f'in problem together. Keep it up." And he meant it. I just thought that was great. Crusty to me meant, seen a lot, super pragmatic, doesn't tolerate what he called "tom-f-ery" (love that term), but has deep regard for "his" people, even down to the green boots. Is there a more universal definition?
 
PlebeNoMore27 said:
Ma'am if I stepped in it with "crusty" then I assure you it was because I'm young and dumb and didn't know better. But still, if I did, I apologize.

There was a Chief on my surface cruise this summer who was almost the same as yours - except for the cigar of course! At first he kind of intimidated me because every 3rd word was the F-inheimer, with a few other colorful terms thrown in. But then I saw how the team was around him. They were definitely motivated and not at all intimidated, so I relaxed too. My big lesson from him was, his people could come to him with anything. I saw a seaman apprentice go to him and say, Chief, I f'ed up, and the Chief was annoyed but worked with the E2 about what she'd do different. He also gruffly said "Took f'in guts to own up, Smith. When you f up and f'in own it, your head's still in the f'in game and now we can solve the f'in problem together. Keep it up." And he meant it. I just thought that was great. Crusty to me meant, seen a lot, super pragmatic, doesn't tolerate what he called "tom-f-ery" (love that term), but has deep regard for "his" people, even down to the green boots. Is there a more universal definition?
Click to expand...
That Chief was Crusty defined. Salty is a given precursor.

Stop with the young and dumb. “Young” cures itself. “Inexperienced” is also cured the same way.
 
#1 On the immediate practical side;
I’ve always found that a good HEAVY lift brightens my outlook. When you sit under your max bench press with your hands on the bar (male or female, slight or heavy set), with your spotter at the ready…………………your focus really can’t be anywhere else…. (clears the mind). Toss in the cathartic explosion of effort and the immediate “win” of completing a max, a really heavy set, or an overall strong strength workout. It feels good and the “glow” lasts for hours sometimes. I know all you mids are in great cardio shape but alone, or with Shipmates, pumping the heavy stuff is good Ju-Ju 4 U

#2 Suspend self criticism at least once a day:
Take a moment to step outside of yourself and consider what you have gotten done,…... not how much more you should be doing. You are in your 2nd year at the (blanking) USNA! How does that stack up next to you HS buddies? Appriciate where you are, and what you’ve already accomplished. If I were you I’d get a campus map and visit the sites around campus, museum, memorials, torpedoes, cemetery, Etc. (maybe one each week). Then try-on a mantra like “I am part of this place, I was chosen by the US Navy to be educated as a leader here". My DD used to do this when she was a little down.

#3 Break the routine:
DD made great use of DC while she was at USNA. Catch a ride, bus, or share an Uber into DC. Visit the National Gallery or the Native American Museum (my favorite). Grab a “Proper Burger” (or other crazy good sandwich) at Dukes🤩. DD used to follow DC entertainment and events. She took in a bunch of free shows, public markets, and other DC events while at the USNA. She would post an invite with her Company and almost always had a shipmate who wanted to go with her.

#4 You are helping your Dad:
I remember your first posts OP and that Mom and Dad weren’t "all in" for your USNA journey; I recall there were some good reasons for this. I also remember that you were quick to rise to their defense when people questioned their parenting. They must be good parents. I’d bet money and give odds that they have figured out, and are delighted with, your growth and your path at the USNA. Your Dad may be worried about a lot of things BUT YOU AREN’T ONE OF THEM and at the end of the day to a good parent that is EVERYTHING!

Keep posting buddy; you’re part of my journey now.
 
Last edited:
Thank you sir. When I met with Chaplain yesterday, we talked about #2, especially because it's important to staying clear about my purpose. And about your #4, sir. I called my dad last night and we were finally able to have a conversation. He said the same thing. My parents are great! My mom has a chronic condition and dad's taking care of her and my 2 younger sibs, 10 and 13. When I first came here, dad was still angry about mom's diagnosis, and thinking I'd stick around to help out. But he's really moved a lot. Last night said the same thing as you did, that he's not worried about me, and he said it would annoy him if I were worried, and to keep my head in the game up here.

It's hard for me to express how grateful I am for everyone who took the time to offer your experience and advice. I'm doing my best to listen and think carefully. I'm also working ahead so I have very little homework this weekend and I can invest some time thinking and planning. Gonna get off now and back to physics HW.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top