Humor for my Navy and Marine friends

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Capt MJ, Mar 15, 2019.

  1. Devil Doc

    Devil Doc Teufel Doc

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    51F7153B-5B30-436A-99AC-06E9CC340ACA.jpeg This SI was at OCS when DS attended. He’s not Smith or any other candidate in the photo.
     
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  2. Capt MJ

    Capt MJ 10-Year Member

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    More Navy and Marine humor.
    The Marine cartoon reminds me of when my senior enlisted leader would poke his or her head in the door and start out with “uh... ma’am?” Those were never good.
    IMG_0578.JPG IMG_0579.JPG
     
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  3. t.reohr

    t.reohr Member

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    Not so much a meme as a story:

    I have a friend who's whole family is marines, I've gone to school with half of the family (they're quite large), and one of them was also a really great goalie for our school soccer team. After he graduated his brother started attending and he told me a story about his brother that I find quite ironic. Everyone knows the joke that Marines eat crayons and whatnot, but apparently at a party at their house, the older brother who used to be a goalie was drunk. Really drunk, and hungry, and someone had just given him a box of crayons as a goodhearted joke earlier that week. The crayons were lying in front of him, and... being drunk.... you guessed it, he ate them. He ate every d*mn crayon in the box, he kept eating them even after he puked the first half of the box up.

    He's a great guy, but needless to say, he's not the brightest crayon in the box... I have not yet decided if he is in said box, or just rolling around on the counter.
     
  4. kinnem

    kinnem Moderator 5-Year Member

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    Did anyone get a picture? I wonder what color THAT was!
     
  5. t.reohr

    t.reohr Member

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    I doubt it, most of them were drunk out of their minds, but it's possible... If so I haven't seen it
     
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  6. THParent

    THParent Member

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    A bus-driver friend of mine sent me this.

    upload_2019-6-10_9-30-48.png
     
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  7. Devil Doc

    Devil Doc Teufel Doc

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    0695D135-88A6-49F5-9763-66139792322C.jpeg
     
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  8. ProudDad2022

    ProudDad2022 Member

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    One of my favorites:

    Military translation of "Secure the building"

    The NAVY would turn out the lights and lock the doors.

    The ARMY would surround the building with defensive fortifications, tanks and concertina wire.

    The MARINE CORPS would assault the building, using overlapping fields of fire from all appropriate points on the perimeter.

    The AIR FORCE would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy the building.
     
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  9. Devil Doc

    Devil Doc Teufel Doc

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    @ProudDad2022 I was once with the Marines'Chemical Biological Incident Response Force and one of the instructors at the medical management of chemical casualties course told the following joke (paraphrased):

    The Pentagon asked all the branches: Other than personnel, what are your priorities for defending against chemical weapons?

    Army: We want to prevent the damage to our tanks and artillery pieces.

    Navy: We of course want to prevent agents that might cause our ships to rust.

    Marines: Since we get nothing but hand-me-downs from the Army, we want to prevent further damage to our tents.

    Air Force: We obviously want to fight against chemicals that kill the grass on our five star golf courses.