Humor for my Navy and Marine friends

A good friend of mine; combat pilot, former commander, and all-around good guy sent me an urgent message today. He said that he was told he needed to go into the hospital to have a knee replacement. He was told it was a common, low/no risk procedure, and a one-day deal. He commented that...well, in his words:

"Don't Do it!! As soon as the hospital made me put on one of those little gowns...
I knew the end was in sight."
 
Capt MJ said:
A line I used at one of my change of command ceremonies, as the incoming CO. What you have to know is the spotlight is on the outgoing CO, whose performance will be celebrated and who will be expected to make some detailed remarks about the time in command. The incoming CO is expected to participate in the required relieving of duty exchange, and make very brief remarks of thanks and anticipation.

After I acknowledged the appropriate people, I noted “the role of the incoming CO is like that of the deceased at an Irish wake. He is the center of attention but not expected to say much.” And I didn’t. 😉
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Aren’t you also supposed to say “I have big shoes to fill”?
 
"Once upon a time" there was another phrase..."All standing orders remain in effect..." a courtesy to the outgoing CC.

ONCE...the new CofS of the AF didn't say that...he mentioned that the uniform regulation would be changing almost immediately.

And that's how we got rid of (Thank you GOD!) the Delta Airlines Blue Suit with Navy rank.

Worn by he who's name is never to be mentioned...


Steve
 

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WT Door said:
When I was told "You have big shoes to fill", I would say, "I know, I brought my own..."
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I relieved a Chief Independent Duty Corpsman who was headed to his twilight shore duty tour. Sick Bay was a mess. All programs were so bad I had to start over. He had medications in the store room that had expired before he checked aboard. His filing system was three large cardboard boxes surrounding his chair at the computer. When a message or other piece of correspondence came in he would drop it one of the boxes.

He wanted me to do my turnover letter to the CO before he transferred but I had 30 days to submit upon relief IAW SURFLANTINST 6000.1 and I intended to use every day for a bulkhead to bulkhead inventory and programs review. The captain dropped by Sick Bay a day or so after the HMC left and told me, “you have some big shoes to fill.” That was very de-motivating but I trudged on and in a few days submitted the letter detailing all the discrepancies I found. He didn’t take it well and actually got mad at me. I got everything squared away and fortunately we had a change of command a few weeks later. The commodore of course told the incoming CO, “you have some big shoes to fill.”
 
Capt. Jeff Bacon has honorary lifetime membership in the Service Academy Bacon Forums.
Thanks for Broadside, Jeff.
 
The coldest I have ever been was during a multi-day defensive operation in Quantico, VA during a 33 degree rainstorm. By the early morning, I was near hypothermia and hallucinating. I still shiver at the thought!

But standing guard in the sloughs of Naval Weapon Station Concord (California) comes a close second.

Still, my experiences don't come close to what others have felt.
 
Capt MJ said:
Oh yes. Narragansett Bay raw damp cold with a lovely breeze.
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My frigate pulled into Newport a couple times. The first was to have an experimental towed array sonar welded to the fantail. We were tasked with operating it at sea while tracking one of our submarines. We ended up chasing Ivan a long way across the Atlantic before being told to turn back. Meanwhile I had an older BT1 who had chest pain, shortness of breath, and diaphoresis. A classic heart attack but I was alone and two days from port. We were pulling in to Boston before going back to Newport so I got on the red phone to Coast Guard Base Boston medical and coordinated transport to St. Elizabeth's Hospital. BT1 indeed had a heart attack and we left him there at the end of the port visit.

Submarine IDCs brag they don't always have a carrier to medevac a patient to like surface ships do. Really Doc? Neither do we.

I agree. Newport is cold.

Here's the Connole and the Miller of the same class as mine. The open "back door" is where the ship's towed array sonar is fed from. The one we picked up from Newport was welded to the starboard side fantail.
navy16.jpg
 
Capt MJ said:
I occasionally post some of the Broadside cartoons, which unerringly skewer Navy and Marine life. Here are two from today’s feed, to bring a laugh on Friday morning.

For those non-military, the humor in the Navy cartoon is that the helmsman, who is the experienced and qualified enlisted watchstander actually at the helm, sees a parade of junior officers getting qualified as Officer of View attachment 2078View attachment 2079the Deck Underway, one of the first (and occasionally scariest) professional qualifications. The OOD has command of the bridge while underway, responsible for the safe navigation of the ship and a host of other things.

Oh, and the “shoe” reference? Surface Warfare Officers wear black shoes, hence they are “blackshoes” or “shoes.” Aviators traditionally wear brown shoes with khakis, so they are “brownshoes.” Years ago, the Uniform Regs changed to allow either color to be worn with khakis. People stuck to their traditions. Aviators can work on getting their OOD qual in certain assignments.

As for the Marine cartoon, well, that’s pretty obvious!
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I spent a short time on the USS Austin (LPD 4). I stood JOOD, CIC watches....my OOD was a Marine Officer, and quite competent as OOD. He had been the Combat Officer (I think that was his title). He was a Mustanger...and great guy! I never saw another Marine get that qual.
 
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USMCGrunt said:
The coldest I have ever been was during a multi-day defensive operation in Quantico, VA during a 33 degree rainstorm. By the early morning, I was near hypothermia and hallucinating. I still shiver at the thought!

But standing guard in the sloughs of Naval Weapon Station Concord (California) comes a close second.

Still, my experiences don't come close to what others have felt.
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We've had two or three of those 33 degree rains this winter. I live just through the woods from Camp Barrett and can testify by the sounds of arty, mortars, and the 50 cal BMG, training does not stop when confronted with nasty weather.
 
rickdunnjr said:
I spent a short time on the USS Austin (LPD 4). I stood JOOD, CIC watches....my OOD was a Marine Officer, and quite competent as OOD. He had been the Combat Officer (I think that was his title). He was a Mustanger...and great guy! I never saw another Marine get that qual.
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Of course, we did joke with this Marine quite a bit!
 
rickdunnjr said:
I spent a short time on the USS Austin (LPD 4). I stood JOOD, CIC watches....my OOD was a Marine Officer, and quite competent as OOD. He had been the Combat Officer (I think that was his title). He was a Mustanger...and great guy! I never saw another Marine get that qual.
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Combat Cargo Officer and his assistant, usually a SSGT or GYSGT was the Combat Cargo Assistant. For Amphibs that I served on or visited, they were generally on the inport watchbill which could include quarterdeck watches and OOD Inport is a relatively easy qual to achieve. My 3/C Midn cruise was aboard an LKA and it had our Combat Cargo Off standing OOD Underway watches. On my LPD, I assisted our Ships Doctor in getting OOD Underway qualified while we were deployed.
 
OldRetSWO said:
Combat Cargo Officer and his assistant, usually a SSGT or GYSGT was the Combat Cargo Assistant. For Amphibs that I served on or visited, they were generally on the inport watchbill which could include quarterdeck watches and OOD Inport is a relatively easy qual to achieve. My 3/C Midn cruise was aboard an LKA and it had our Combat Cargo Off standing OOD Underway watches. On my LPD, I assisted our Ships Doctor in getting OOD Underway qualified while we were deployed.
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Fortunately your medical officer had an IDC to cover medical while he was on the bridge.
 
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