Humor for my Navy and Marine friends

THParent said:
I remember when the Marines were strapping down LAVs to the flight deck of The Wasp, to use their bushmasters as defense against small fast-moving boats. Is that where that photo was taken?
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I stole it from the US Navy FB site
 
@Devil Doc I remember the historian Michael Neiberg who teaches at the US Army War College saying (in a lecture on the causes of WWI) that, "There's nothing more dangerous than a 2nd Lieutenant with a compass." ;)
 
United Airlines Imposes Hiring Freeze on Naval Aviators
CHICAGO, IL — New airplane liveries aren’t the only change coming to United Airlines. In the midst of a vast airline pilot shortage, United Airlines spokeswoman Janine Davidson announced earlier today that the airline is considering not offering new pilot positions to former Navy and Marine Aviators. This comes in the wake of last week’s incident involving United Flight 2921 from Orlando to Milwaukee that left two passengers hospitalized and dozens of others stunned. The United Airlines Boeing 737 was piloted by two former Naval Aviators—an F/A-18C and E-2D pilot.
“The plane came down so hard, I soiled myself,” reported passenger Dale Gordons of Lake Okeechobee, FL. United Flight Attendant Stacie Sommers, working aboard Flt 2921, recounts: “There was a 27-year-old college student in 12B who was crying hysterically. I went over to help and noticed that his comfort gerbil was crushed under the weight of the obese man next to him when the plane touched down. The other flight attendant rushed to the flight deck to see what happened and as the door opened, the pilots were high-fiving and making ‘one-wire jokes.”
United Airlines Chief Pilot, Jack McCann, understands that Naval Aviators fly jets that regularly touch down in excess of 800 feet per minute aboard their aircraft carriers. “These rates of descent are just too hard on our passengers and too hard on our planes. We try to train these tendencies out of them, but it’s a culture thing. They’re brainwashed and it’s hard to teach old dogs new tricks.”
This seems to be the final straw to break the camel’s back. Last month, United Airlines maintenance workers filed a formal grievance against seven pilots, all former Naval Aviators, who were caught opening panels and pre-flight inspecting their airplanes before their flights. “It’s a clear gesture of distrust,” stated United Airlines Aircraft Mechanic Jason Dant. Passengers are also becoming worried about safety practices when they see pilots clambering over their airplanes and inspecting them.
Shannon Kelsey, of Laguna Beach, CA doesn’t feel comfortable seeing airline pilots concerned over the plane’s status. “It’s like seeing the barista at Starbucks sip your drink before serving it to you to make sure it’s actually a Java Frappuccino with vegan almond milk. It makes me uncomfortable and a little offended.”
Former Marine Aviator Mike Highway just wants to make sure his aircraft is safe. “I’m not sure what these freakin’ snowflakes are whining about. How would you like to fly in a plane that’s probably been inspected by some 12-year old that just graduated from Embry Riddle, makes $9 an hour, and lives with his mom? I’m not signing for that s**t without double-checking it. I didn’t do it in the Fleet, and I ain’t doing that s**t now.”
As far as recruiting former military aviators, Davidson says she is encouraging more Air Force pilots to apply. “Former Air Force pilots have been shown to gently guide their aircraft through the sky. They use the automated flight control assistance capabilities on our planes more regularly and aren’t accustomed to performing hard carrier landings. Air Force pilots also don’t perform pre-flight inspections and tend to be more team-oriented. We prefer a trusting relationship between members of the United Airlines Team and show our valued passengers that our pilots are just as comfortable boarding alongside them from the airport jet-bridge.”
Fleet Aviation Gazette is awaiting comment from the Pilot’s Union at this time.
LMAO!!!
 
Time to form “Naval Airlines: Solid Landings, Zero Airspeed at the Gate!” No snowflakes, no support animals, no whiners allowed.
 
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Old Navy BGO said:
Did this come from Duffelblog ?
There is a lot of truth here... Like a good NFO, I often comment on the landings when I exit a commercial aircraft :)
Naval Aviators do tend to plant the aircraft more firmly on the ground.
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I once asked a commercial pilot if he had landed on purpose, or if we had been shot down.
Amazingly, he didn't strike me.
 
THParent said:
I once asked a commercial pilot if he had landed on purpose, or if we had been shot down.
Amazingly, he didn't strike me.
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Somewhere, there is a pilots’ chat forum with a thread called “You Won’t Believe What This Passenger Did/Said,” and this story will be recounted from another point of view. 😂
 
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