Humor for my Navy and Marine friends

I am certain this has been posted before somewhere, but I saw some photos of my former ship on deployment and it made me think of this image.
Slow day at the office.....I miss all the Mids running in circles asking too many questions ((actually---no, I do not come to think of it))
 

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On a hop with some Army on a C-130 with an Army Sergeant who really really did not like to fly. First problem feather an engine. What's Wrong!!! Crew Chief: Nothing Sargent we can fly on three. From his reaction I don't think he believed him. Approaching landing and Crew Chief and Airman break out the big Crank and start cranking down the port landing gear. Priceless. It did relieve the monotony. Original UBER.
 

Family arrested over West Point cheating incident

The license plate game doesn't work in the commissary parking lot.​


By Slab Squatthrust

WEST POINT, N.Y.—A family of four has been arrested by military police for an alleged “license plate game” cheating scandal in the commissary parking lot at the United States Military Academy, officials confirmed today.

The husband, wife, and two children were witnessed checking off an insane amount of state license plates in the parking lot of the West Point commissary as a pit stop during a recent family road trip, Army spokesperson Ann Templeton told Duffel Blog.

“The family seemed to be very excited to see hard-to-find license plates like North Dakota and New Mexico without actually counting them on the highway like you’re supposed to. So the base commander decided to place them in pretrial confinement,” Templeton said.

“No regrets,” said the crazed mother, frothing at the mouth in her jail cell. “We found a Saskatchewan plate, you guys! Do you have any idea how rare that is?”

The investigation into the alleged cheating scandal is being taken very seriously and is conducted by the Army’s Criminal Investigation Division.

Military police initially believed that the family was undercover MPs citing cars for expired registration stickers. But once the 12-year-old son yelled, “I FOUND ALASKA!” MPs ambushed the swindlers with guns drawn, yelling, “Put the checklist down and put your hands in the air!”

Officials describe the family to Duffel Blog as “extremely greedy” and clearly had a mission to complete. The cheating was caught on surveillance camera footage in which the family is seen moving quickly in a strategic pattern, like a pack of wolves.

Officials are also investigating whether or not the family entered the parking lot faster than 8 mph.
 
Officials are also investigating whether or not the family entered the parking lot faster than 8 mph.

Yes! It’s that single-digit speeding that is the scourge of military bases.
Don't forget the one way aisles in the store itself. Not sure if it still does but the West Point Commissary
used to adhere to them pretty closely.
 
Don't forget the one way aisles in the store itself. Not sure if it still does but the West Point Commissary
used to adhere to them pretty closely.
And if you forget, there are plenty of shoppers ready to coach you on it, or just beam nasty looks at you. There were Kyles and Karens in military commissaries long before the memes started.

I haven’t seen the one-way aisles in a while. Of course, the last few years, I’ve stuck to NSA Annapolis and Ft. Meade, both rebuilt in the last few years and not cramped.

I still count and double-check my item count in the cart before heading to an express lane, so I don’t attract attention from the Cart Overwatch People.
 
Or just strap it to the roof. Piling it in the back and always leaving the tailgate open would also be acceptable.
 
I've read that as a civilian I shouldn't be making jokes of certain branches of the military. But my Col USMC cousin sent me this one and gave me full permission to share. It's just too funny not to...

An Air Force pilot dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, St Peter asks him if he has ever done any single good thing in his life that would allow him to enter Heaven.

The pilot answers, “Yes, I did. I was at a bar once with five of my other Air Force pilot friends. We saw a Marine talking a girl who appeared to have no interest in him. Since I was an officer and a gentleman, I walked up to the Marine and told him to leave the girl alone. He refused, so I told him once again to leave her alone. He again said ‘No.’ So I ended up slapping him across the face and told him to stand down.”

St Peter was happy and said this was a very good act. He asked when the Air Force pilot did this.

The pilot answered, “About ten minutes ago. The five others should be here shortly.”
 
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